get to know me

too many times in the past week even, I've heard the phrase from people: "really? you did that? you don't seem like the type."

ah come on people. what do you think of me? what kind of image of myself am I giving? I know, it seems like I am a real lazy fuck who just sits at his computer all day and chats on aim, surfs the internet for random funny articles, and later blogs about it. believe me, I've done much more interesting things than that in the past. those of you getting to know me now are catching me at my year off. this is the first year ever that I've had an excess of free time since the beginning of high school. so here are some random tidbits about me that you may or may not have known about me in no particular order:
-I went to Catholic school from 3rd to 8th grade
-I used to go camping all the time with my family, have been to Yosemite multiple times, hiked all the way up to Vernal Falls and other sites
-I have camped and hiked in multiple sites all over California
-I am a serial monogomist-I have 9 ex-girlfriends
-4 of those relationships are what I would consider to be "serious"
-I used to do the bay to breakers every year, a 10k run around San Francisco from since I was 6 till about the end of middle school
-One of those years, I did it in costume (I was a Simba walrus-don't ask how)
-I took piano lessons for 12 years
-I was part of my high school band as a percussionist and jazz pianist
-I've been to Japan with my high school jazz band
-I've written my own piano arrangements of three songs
-I was a percussionist in the UCLA symphonic band for one year
-I have probably participated in more than 900 community service hours in my college career
-I was once a director in 3 different community service groups-at once
-One of these groups entailed me the reponsibility of managing the schedules of 22 different seperate groups
-I have become quite avid at creating slideshows
-I've been carrying a camera around with me everywhere I go for the past 8 years...you never know you'll be able to take a picture of! 
-Yes, I used to lift weights and have a set workout program
-I was part of the community swim team when I was in middle school
-Yes, I used to be stylish
-I used to work a night shift (9pm-5am) security job at the dormitories, and I have stories to tell for years
-I used to have pet chickens...so yes I used to raise cocks. haha
-I used to wear a silver chain with a large pendant of the Chinese character "dragon" in high school
-My itunes library as of this moment has 15,674 songs, enough to last 47.1 days and takes up 68.54 gb of space, and continues to grow
 -Apparently, I bake a mean banana bread

I can't think of any more at the moment, but I'm just trying to prove a point: I wasn't always a lazy computer nerd.

"Whatever you do, don't fuck Mark Solomon."
-CB

what does blog stand for again?

Blogging. Why do we do it, why do we read it. Why is it so fascinating to read about other people's anecdotes, hopes, dreams, complaints or manic depressive rants? We all have our own problems we have to deal with, our own shit to worry about and our own dreams to achieve, so why spend time reading about other people's worries?

On that same note, why do people blog in the first place? Don't bloggers know that by typing and publishing their deepest darkest secrets on blogger, livejournal, xanga, facebook notes or whatever know that by doing so, they are pretty much publically stating their innermost thoughts to anyone who can connect to the internet?

well there must be a reason. I know. mostly because:
1. I am writing this.
and
2. you are reading this.

Now I am sure there are completely rational scientific explanations for some people's needs to blog or whatever. It's been a sensation for years now, the most popular sites for this hobby being xanga, blogger, to an extent myspace and more recently facebook.

Actually, what I really want to know is why people would want to write their deepest thoughts and insecurities on facebook notes, knowing damn well that in a few minutes, "(your name here) wrote a new note" is going to pop up on all 300 of your friends' mini feeds, thus making it known to the world that you're "feeling frozen" or that "the road is growing darker and colder every day now." (sorry for those I directly quoted, I mean no offense to your troubles).

Is it a cry for attention? Will you feel validated if someone comments on your blog or rant, telling you that they are there for you if you need to talk to them?

I also can't believe some of the stuff I read on these public domains sometimes. I almost feel bad for reading it cause it's like snooping through someone's diary. Gah! I'm invading your privacy!

There should be some sort of disclaimer on these blogging sites saying something to the effect of "by clicking on the 'publish post' button, your words are now the property of the public and can and will be used against them in a court of law,a circle of friends, or by some creepy stalker who found the link to your blog on your facebook profile."

So you frequenters of blogs, and subsequently a reader of mine, can you answer these questions for me?

"i post, therefore i am."
-JW

almost forgot.

oh also. happy 42o.

for those of you who celebrate, by all means celebrate. if not, then stay home and enjoy an unwarped sense of time and space.

"donde esta...the music room?"
-lady who assumed me and the group of filipinos I was with were Mexican and spoke Spanish
our reply: "you mean schoenburg? that's up the hill."

it's coming

Being involved in a community service program aimed towards promoting higher education to high school students usually leaves me with some sort of euphoric feeling. Ya know, one of those emotional highs or something cause I know I did something that impacted somebody's life positively. Yeah, it sounds cheesy, but I get a certain personal joy if I know down the line that what I did helped someone. Well, who doesn't really?

And so I write this after finishing off a third and what would be my last Bruin Life Weekend. What is that? High school seniors who are accepted to UCLA are invited to spend a weekend here on campus, sleeping in the dorms, eating in the dorms, going to classes, exploring campus and westwood and whatnot, all in the name of making a decision on which college to go to. The whole program was effectively prepared, organized, and facilitated by no more than the less than 10 real active members in PREP(http://prep.bol.ucla.edu/index.htm).


Yay us.
Finishing that off left me with:
-relief that it all came together, despite the lack of concrete organization beforehand (phew)
-a few more facebook friends (and the requests keep coming)
-a stomachache since leftover cheese pizza from the first night is all I've been eating the past three days
-shock cause these students were born in 1990. 1990? that's the next decade!!!
-a little bit of sadness knowing that by the time these prospective UCLA students begin their college career, I'll be graduated
-and panic knowing that by the time these prospective UCLA students begin their college career, I'll be graduated

...it's basically a realization that my time here is ending. The end is coming, and now it's closer than it ever was before (though it'll be even closer tomorrow). Upon hearing that I'm a graduating senior, the question of what I plan on doing with my life after I graduate comes up time and time again. And the question only now pops up more frequently as it gets closer to June. Do I have an answer for it? I do. It usually starts with "Um, well, er, I was thinking I should..."

I'm sure every graduating senior goes through this at some point. This is my turn, especially since at the moment, I'm finding it hard to put a direction in my life. Sure, I'll have the degree, but the real question is yeah, so?

Might I also add that it makes me feel just that much more older when interacting with high school students who are also class of 08.

At the very least, I can be glad that every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

"You know, Michael Jordan was a geography major. Maybe there's hope for at least some of you."
-Prof. Fan

The Art of Throwing a Party

Hosting a College Party for Dummies
1st Edition
By Mark Solomon

Chapter 1: So You Want to Throw a Party
Chapter 2: Uh, dude, where’s it gonna be? AKA Venue Preparation
Chapter 3: Refreshment Rules, Regulations, and Recommendations
Chapter 4: Entertaining your Guests – There’s More to Parties than Just Standing and Drinking
Chapter 5: Problems You Will Possibly Run Into
Chapter 6: Unfortunately, You Still Have to Clean Up Afterwards

So it’s the beginning of the school year, and you’ve just moved into your first apartment. No more communal showers, no more diminished sense of privacy, no more stupid quiet hours, no more RAs and their lame programs. It’s time to celebrate! And what better way to celebrate than with a housewarming party? And later on down the line, who needs a reason, let’s just party for the sheer hell of it! I mean, you’ve got a nice enough place, and you finally decided you’re popular enough to throw a huge, kick-ass party, so why the hell not.
But wait. There are so many logistical issues to worry about. You’ve got to buy alcohol, you’ve got to provide music, you’ve got to make sure your neighbors don’t complain and call the police, you’ve got to make sure nobody gets too wasted and the EMTs don’t have to be called. Gah! So many issues and if something goes wrong, there goes the party and there went the night.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Now, I’ve been to a lot of apartment parties, and have thrown a number myself. I can tell you all the things that have gone wrong, what works, what doesn’t, and how to mitigate when something goes wrong. It all begins with the basics.

Anybody can throw a party. But how many people can say they’ve thrown a good party? You know, a party where everybody has a good time, everybody has (good) stories to tell the morning after, and when describing how it turned out, guests exclaim “fucking crazy!” rather than “it was aiight.” How do you ensure this? Just keep these elements in mind.

Chapter 1 – So You Want to Throw a Party
So upon deciding that you are capable of throwing a party, you figure you need a reason to do so, right? Excuses to throw a party come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, from housewarmings, to birthdays, to holidays to anti-holidays to going-away parties to after-parties to pre-parties…and so on and so forth. Sometimes you don’t need a reason at all, and can pull off throwing a party for the sheer hell of it. But sometimes the reason for a party will be a huge indicator in who attends. For example, not everyone is too keen on the idea of going to a going away party for someone they don’t really know, nor will everyone be too keen on the idea of partying to celebrate Shavu'ot (it’s on June 9th this year, FYI).

Also what must be taken into consideration are themes. In my experience, for large scale parties in which there is a lot of mixing of friends, themes do not work. “Dress up as your screen name” or “Wear green if you’re single, red if you’re not” seem like easy enough rules to follow, but when it comes down to things, unless the person really really really likes you, they’re not likely gonna take the effort to dress up as “LiL AzN SkOoL GuRliE.” In other words, ditch the theme. People come to parties to see friends, get buzzed, and take pictures they can later post on facebook.

And for those of you who actually listen and follow themes, don’t you feel stupid when you’re the only one who came in a green polka dot shirt and your old corduroy school uniform pants?

Chapter 2 - Uh, dude, where’s it gonna be? AKA Venue Preparation
Of course, one of the most important factors in hosting a party is making sure the host (you) has somewhere to host the party. It is assumed that the party will be in your apartment. Thus, there are some general rules you must follow in order to maximize overall party comfortableness and minimize damage.
1. Venue Location – This may be completely out of your control, but to ensure attendance to your party, you must make it completely accessible. A place that does not take long to walk to and is not hard to find is the ideal location for a party. Providing a map online to your place from a well known location such as the dorms helps to ensure accessibility, so unknowing guests won’t run into the problem of realizing they don’t know where your place is after pre-partying, and being too drunk to try and figure it out (usually resulting in the “well why don’t we just party here?” statement). Also, you’re not gonna wanna keep leaving your party to go downstairs to open up the gate to the entrance of your apartment for every single guest that comes in, so if there’s a code to open the gate, provide it.
2. Preparing the Venue
a. Cleanliness Preparation - There is one thing that must be universally understood when you host a party: Your place will get dirty. It will get damn dirty. So of course proper preparations must be made to help minimize the impending dirtiness:
-Always provide plenty of places to throw trash, i.e. trash cans in the bathroom and trash bags in the kitchen and near the door. Nobody wants to hold the same red cup or small shot sized dixie cup for the duration of a party. And if there’s no bag or can to throw the empty cup into, then they’ll just set it down wherever they are, leading to the rest of the party assuming that is the new resting spot to put their identical red cup, thinking that no one’s gonna get confused about whose cup is whose.
-The bathroom is going to be a favorite spot for many of your party guests. So, to ensure your bathroom maintains some sense of cleanliness, be sure to hide personal care products first (you wouldn’t want to know how many times your toothbrush was dropped in drunken frenzies that night) to avoid messes from occurring.
Provide something for people to wipe their hands on. Avoid paper towels, as they only create more potential for mess. If you clear out all your towels and leave nothing, the “why-is-his-hand-wet-after-coming-out-of-the-bathroom syndrome” will occur. Provide only one towel (preferably a large one) for people to wipe their hands on. Therefore, you minimize the amount of laundry you have to do post-party.
-If at all possible, avoid using utensils or cups that you will have to later wash.
-You super Asians out there will require your party guests to remove their shoes when they enter your place, as seems like the most logical thing to do. If you can manage to continue to enforce the rule throughout the night, right on. However, in most larger scale parties, the whole shoes off policy will be forgotten and eventually will no longer be followed as more guests enter (though if new guests coming in don’t notice the huge pile of shoes at the door, that’s a problem in and of itself).
If you are foregoing the whole shoes off policy, then expect to have a dirty carpet or hardwood floor afterwards. Hardwood floors will be easier to clean than their fabric counterparts, but damage will be done either way. Spills will happen, resulting in stains or morning stickiness. Vomit is a bitch to clean off from carpet too, and the best thing to do upon first discovery of the occurrence is to wipe off the excess stomach acid and partly digested In-n-Out, douse with water, spray with cleanser (or bleach), wipe, and repeat.
One way to help mitigate this from the beginning is to cover your floor completely for protection. Plastic covering is effective and easy to clean up afterwards, however it is slippery. While this may lead to many comical happenings throughout the night that increase proportionately with overall drunkenness of people, it also runs the risk of being ripped open, leaving your precious carpet exposed. Flattened cardboard boxes are also very effective, and even absorb a slight amount of the force of a stampede of footsteps your downstairs neighbors have to endure.
b. Preparing a floor plan
-Keep the main area (i.e. the part of your apartment where the main part of the party will be occurring) open, with plenty of space for people to stand, mingle, dance, knock out on, etc. It ain’t a party till someone starts gettin’ down.
-Provide plenty of places for people to sit. While maintaining a large open area, along the walls there should be places for people to sit down. While many like to dance, people love to sit even more. Also, those who aren’t enjoying the party tend to find a place to sit. Sitting also breeds conversation and eventual hooking up, so ensure there’s plenty of areas for that. So, utilize all your dining table chairs and maximize your couch. Coffee tables can be placed against a wall and be converted into very hard, but still very usable seating.
-Placing alcohol in a central place avoids confusion and centralizes where 90% of spills will be occurring. Also, avoid keeping alcohol in a place near the doorway. Doing so leaves a quick exit for those who like to steal alcohol from parties. While it may seem logical to keep alcohol in the kitchen, you actually want to keep that area clear if at all possible to ensure that the sink is readily accessible (you never know when things spontaneously combust, believe me).
-Unless there is some integral part of the party taking place in your bedroom, keep that area blocked off. If there’s one part of your apartment that must be kept sacred, it should be where you sleep.
-Lighting is a very important part of the party, as it sets the mood of the room. Nobody likes partying in complete light (and it’s so much easier to hit on someone or talk to someone when you can’t see their face completely), then again, nobody wants to party in complete darkness either. Mood lighting devices such as lava lamps or those lightning orb things are very effective. Disco lights and black lights also add a very nice effect. Christmas lights are your best bet, in my opinion, however. They are cheap (about $2 for a string of 100), are easy to place, and provide non-overbearing but sufficient lighting. If you can figure it out, hook up your computer to your TV screen and turn on your WinAmp or iTunes visualizer. The trippy variations in color leave something for people to stare at while inebriated. Avoid strobe lights however – that’s more of a thing for when you’re high.
-Speakers should be placed strategically-away from the door or any walls that are adjacent to neighboring apartments. This minimizes the amount of noise that travels outside of where it is supposed to be heard. (More on music later)
c. Inform your neighbors - As one of the most important factors to take into consideration for the success of a party, informing your neighbors ensures at least a little bit of safety from complaints. In a way, your neighbors control the longevity of your party. The more of your excessive noise they can take (and there’s going to be a lot of excessive noise), the longer your party will last. So what to do, what to do? Easy – let all your surrounding neighbors know that you will be having a few people over for a little shindig, and it will be a little loud that night. It’s best to knock on their door and let them know personally. Be sure to let them know to inform you first before they decide to call the police if they really feel like you’re bothering them. Besides, informing them beforehand gives you the right to say “don’t say I didn’t warn you” the next morning.
d. Provide some sort of ventilation – but be careful. It’s probably a given that a room full of multiple human bodies will become hot, stuffy, and ultimately very uncomfortable. It probably seems smart to keep a window or a door open, but be wary, since this means that noise will travel further, thus pissing your neighbors off more quickly and efficiently. Instead, if the option of air conditioning is available, then all means use it. If not, find fans, plug em in, and keep em going throughout the whole party. Your room will be initially chilly, but you’ll be glad they’re there when 40 people are stuffed in your living room.

Chapter 3 – Refreshment Rules, Regulations, and Recommendations
Ah yes, it sure ain’t a party unless the whole room just reeks of inebriation. The good parties are those that not only get your guests drunk, but keep your guests drunk. And the best parties are when those who don’t normally pass out or throw up end up throwing up, passing out, and not remember too much of what happened the night before.
Not all good parties have to involve alcohol, and for those of you who still practice prohibition, by all means, more power to you. I have heard of many successful SOBEr parties that have gone down, with juice pong and everything (cause it’s about the love, not the drugs!)
But for those of you who do wish to take the (underage) alcohol consumption route, there are certain guidelines you must follow in order to ensure everybody’s happy and continues to be so happy that it causes a headache and a stomachache in the morning.
1. Provide Choices – Everyone has their own preference for method of getting drunk. Some like the quick and painful nothing but hard liquor method, while others enjoy the slow but sure method of buzzed by beer. Then there’s those out there who think alcohol tastes like donkey balls (assuming they know what donkey balls taste like) and won’t drink anything unless it tastes like lemonade. Providing mixed drinks is the way to go for this crowd. Knowing this, you must cater to a diverse range of tastes, and provide all choices. Finally – you need alternative drinks such as soda, juice, and water. Soda and juice double as drinks for those who don’t enjoy any type of alcohol, and water is a must. People will get dehydrated, and as the night goes on, people will be drinking less alcohol and more water. Sparksnotes version of the previous paragraph: You need hard liquor, you need beer, you need a fruity mixed drink option, you need non-alcoholic drinks, such as soda or juice and most important of all, you need water.
a. Fruity mixed drink? If you’re stumped as to what a good mix is (or if you don’t know what a mixed drink even is) here are some suggestions:
i. Buzzed Light Year – 1 shot of vodka, 1 shot of midori melon liqueur, fill with orange juice
ii. Blood Clot – 1 shot of Southern Comfort, 1 half shot of grenadine, fill with 7-up
iii. Chameleon – one half shot of blue curacao, one half glass of orange juice, fill with 7-up
iv. Electric Popsicle – 1 shot of midori melon liqueur, 1 shot of blue curacao, fill with 7-up
v. Tootsie Roll – 1 shot of kahlua, one and a half shots of orange juice
vi. Mean Green Love Making Machine – 1 cup of orange juice, half shot of vodka, half shot of midori melon liqueur, half shot of blue curacao
vii. Hawaiian Knockout -2 parts red passion alize, 2 parts Hawaiian punch, 1 part vodka
viii. Doctor Soco – 1 shot of Southern Comfort, fill with Dr. Pepper
-each of the above recipes can be adjusted to create larger quantities
b. Also, people will not drink anything that comes out of an open punch bowl. Nobody knows who put what in there. When providing mixed drinks in large quantities, your best bet is to provide it in a large cooler.
2. Don’t be cheap – You’re at the store buying alcohol, and your eyes naturally begin glancing towards the bottom of the alcohol shelf. Hm. You can spend $9 and buy the painful Smirnoff, the burning $12 Cuervo, and the tolerable $10 Bacardi. But wait! Your eyes glance to the right, and notice that Prestige makes all three of these liquors! And all the bottles are only $6!
Don’t do it.
It’s a common mistake of first time alcohol buyers to go for the cheapest stuff available. The mantra “you get what you pay for” never rings truer than in the world of alcohol. Sure, you may be saving a couple of dollars here and there, but it’s simply not worth it. The cheaper alcohol you buy, the more it is likely to get people sick. Sure, alcohol is alcohol and in the end it will do the trick, but more even slightly less cheap name brand alcohol does a better job of reducing the burn than their plastic bottled brethren. You’re in college now. Graduate to glass bottles.
The same rings true for beer as well. While you don’t need to go out and purchase the finest quality beer that comes in fancy bottles, was imported from Belgium and brewed by monks, you should make an effort to have a little taste. For example – the most common and normally cheapest beer that is popular at parties but nowhere else is Bud Light or Tecate (about $16 for a 30 pack for each). While I am a larger fan of the latter, the former still does the trick, and should only be purchased in the context that it was the only stuff available.
Kegs seem like an economical idea, and it’s true, they are. You most definitely get the most alcohol out of a keg for the amount of money you pay. It must be understood, however, that kegs are messy. They are VERY messy. Keep this in mind: one’s ability to pour liquid out of a spout will decrease as their inebriation increases, thus resulting in many a spilled drink. Also: Kegs are heavy as hell. Transportation to an apartment on the 3rd floor of an elevator-less building is logistically impossible.
This is a personal experience of mine, and I’d like to point out that there are those out there who are even cheaper, and will actually go for this brand of beer called Milwaukee’s Best. Bleh! Milwaukee’s Best equals world’s worst. The moment you see this brand around, you know that either this host: has no taste at all or is cheap beyond comprehension. Now, when you see Milwaukee’s Best Light, you should question the validity of the host’s concern for their guests.
3. Cheap alcohol tricks that work – Not all liquor that comes in large quantities at cheap prices are completely horrible. The 40 oz. is a very common preference of alcohol, and it does the trick inexpensively and easily. A party themed around 40 oz. bottles of Mickey’s or Colt 45 boosts your awesome rating by many a notch, as it shows that you know how to get down, yet you’re not ashamed to show a ghetto side of you.
Also very effective is the cheap wine route. Wine is sometimes viewed as the classiest of all drinks, yet all those images of snobby wine enthusiasts clinking glasses are completely dissipated when you bust out the boxed wine or the 4 liter jug. Running at about $8-10 each, this is the best bang for your buck, meaning most volume of alcohol per dollar. The 4 liter jug of wine is just funny to look at and pour out of, and pulling the bag of wine out of the box opens the floor for a great drinking game (to be discussed later).
4. Provide LOTS of drinks – Running out of alcohol is one of the worst things that could happen at a party (next to the cops being called or someone getting hurt). Alcohol is literally the lifeblood of any successful party, and the moment people find out that the alcohol has run dry, everything begins falling apart. Those who were only slightly buzzed will never get past that stage, people will begin sobering up left and right, and newer guests to the party will end up sober and uncomfortable in the muggy, stuffy conditions around varying levels of inebriation. More availability of alcohol equals everybody stays drunk and happy longer.
So always, always provide plenty to drink for everyone, and then some. It may seem like you are buying in excess, and alcohol is pretty damn expensive, but I guarantee you it will be worth it. The leftover alcohol that is available after the party can then be used as an excuse to host another party the next week.
5. Don’t ever, EVER charge your guests for drinks – While purchasing this alcohol, you’ll notice that it’s very easy to drop $100-$200 easily. Breathe. There, there. I know, it’s a lot, and who the hell would want to spend that much on something everyone else is going to drink?
You!
Upon making the decision that you even wanted to even host the party to begin with, you agreed to sign your life (or credit card) away to wholeheartedly paying for everything. That is what a good host is. Don’t ever force your guests to pay to drink – you are not a nightclub. Forcing to have all your guests to make a “donation” to the “alcohol fund” when they drink your drinks will only turn people off. Asking your guests to “come prepared with cash” will make you come off as some sort of cheap bastard, and attendance to your party or future parties will be severely reduced. Forcing someone to pay also changes the overall mood of your party. People will be glaring at you from across the room, cursing you under their breaths, and when you’re not looking, flipping you off in the most creative fashion.
If you really don’t wanna pay, find some friends to split the cost with. No person is gonna want to pay $5 to a stranger just to fill their cup up at the keg. Shame on you.
6. Food and Snacks – Optional, at best. The more generous hosts will actually provide real finger foods such as cream puffs, bagel bites, or dinosaur chicken shaped chicken nuggets. Cheaper, but still generous nonetheless hosts will provide staples such as chips, pretzels, or trail mix. If you simply just don’t give a damn, you won’t provide food at all. Having food available is always a plus when it comes to parties, and you will garner only positive feedback by doing so. Food also keeps people at a party, as it keeps them from deciding to leave for a while to go to that nearby 24 hour Denny’s.
Let it be known though, however, that available food increases the potential for messes occurring, and also increases the likelihood of throwing up.

Chapter 4 – Entertaining your Guests – There’s More to Parties than Just Standing and Drinking
Socializing is fun, but anybody can do that anywhere. Socializing while drinking is fun, but even then, it could get old. Part of what makes a good party a good party is making sure that there is something for everyone to do. A good party is when people don’t leave, thinking they just wasted their time just sitting and drinking. If beer pong, a little bit of dancing, and standing are all you have as things to do at your party, people are bound to get bored.
1. Music – Parties have music. It’s almost an unspoken rule. A very popular hobby of many college age students is to go clubbing. Having music available at your party brings the club to your apartment (assuming you’ve been following this guide and have an open space in your apartment lit by colorful Christmas lights) by providing an atmosphere in which people can dance. Also, music fills the silence for those awkward moments when you run out of things to say to the people you are talking to (or trying to talk to). No slow jams though. This isn’t a middle school dance.
When providing music, it’s best not to leave your computer or laptop open to the general party area. Stuff will spill, and laptop keyboards are not cheap to replace.
2. Party Activities – People tend to get bored at parties when there’s nothing to entertain them, and especially if they don’t really know the crowd at the party. So how do you help that? Give them something to do!
a. Karaoke – If you’re lucky enough to get your hands on one of these machines (www.magicmic.com), the potential for fun just explodes. Everybody likes singing along to their favorite song, and watching or listening to someone attempt to sing brings together a crowd like no other. Nothing attracts people towards a karaoke machine more than some drunk guy attempting to keep up with the words in “Baby Got Back.” Just make sure to keep the karaoke separate from the party music, as the clashing of sounds isn’t pretty (for example – put the speakers in the living room and the karaoke in the bedroom)
b. Card games – Having a deck of cards available opens up the field to such drinking games as King’s Cup, the Pyramid game, and Egyptian Rat Screw (which just gets funnier as more shots are taken).
c. Some board games, like Jenga – actually Jenga is really the only effective board game that works while drinking that I can think of. Drunken Scrabble was suggested once, but I still haven’t figured out how it would work.
d. To an extent, video games – Such party games as Rock Star or Guitar Hero may seem like a good bet for entertainment, but the problem here is that it limits the fun to only 4 people at a time. With karaoke, you can at least get the whole crowd in on singing. Wii Sports is also very entertaining to watch other people do for a while, but can end up being very dangerous (ever see a wii-mote fly into a mirror?) and also suffers the same fate of limiting the fun to 4 people.
3. Drinking games – Drinking games are fun and creative group activities that bring together your party. Good games get the whole party involved, and create spectators. As may be expected, the longer a drinking game lasts, the more inebriated the participants become, and the more comical the game gets to watch.
Though I personally dislike the game myself, beer pong is a highly popular game amongst college students. Having it at your party will definitely attract a large crowd, however having a large table with many red cups creates the problem of lack of space for the rest of the party, and the potential for messy floors due to spilled drinks.
Slap the bag is a fun and interesting way to watch people get drunk quickly, however chance of spillage is high. This involves the bag of wine that comes in the boxed wine. You pull the bag of wine out of the box, a person then slaps the bag, and subsequently has to put their mouth on the spout. They then begin chugging the bag of wine, all the while someone else is slapping the bag. Have contests to see who can take the bag slapping the longest.
As mentioned earlier, King’s Cup brings people together very effectively. Visit http://www.drinksite.com/game.php?game_id=35 to read up on the rules.
There are plenty more drinking games out there, and all have very high potential for entertainment. Just google “Drinking Games” to view the slew of games available.
4. Party favors/stuff to take pictures with – It is a given that at least 60% of college students own digital cameras, and that at least half of these people will be designated picture takers at parties. These designated picture takers will take every chance to, well, take pictures. The schema of most party pictures go in this sequence:
-People gather to take pour shots
-People get closer together, gather behind someone taking picture
-People raise their shot glasses to make sure glasses are visible in picture
-Picture is taken
Don’t tell me you haven’t seen this picture multiple, multiple times.
So how do we twist things up a bit? Provide some sort of party favor that would just be funny to take a picture with, resulting in EVERYBODY wanting to take a picture with this novelty. These items usually come in oversize form, though some don’t need to be big in order to be funny. Besides, more pictures equals happier guests equals more pictures on facebook equals people probably thought your party was pretty kick-ass.
Some examples include:
-oversized hats (or hats in general) 
- piñatas – large piñatas of alcohol bottles or cans get bonus points 
-a “lap dance” chair – as shown in this example (who knows, you may even get a few actual lap dances out of this too!)
-out of season decorations (pumpkins, Christmas trees, Menorahs) 
-whipped cream – be careful with this, it gets messy and not everyone enjoys the idea of getting sugary substance all over their clothes

Chapter 5 – Problems You Will Possibly Run Into
So the party’s started, your music is blaring, the alcohol is bought, your room has been rearranged, your guests are coming over and some of them even began singing karaoke. Success, right? Don’t worry, you’re almost there.
So there must be an agreement made between you and your roommates (or if you live alone, a friend) that someone should stay sober enough to maintain some sense of order throughout the party, not unlike a designated driver. This person’s responsibilities include answering the phone to open the gate downstairs for more incoming guests, dealing with the police or neighbors if in case they decide to pay a visit, or quieting down belligerent people when they begin to yell “fuck you all!” to everyone and start throwing bottles at the wall. That’s not to say this person can’t drink a little and have fun. It should be more along the lines of this person cannot get wasted and black out. When the party host is down for the count, all hell tends to break loose.
That said, you must also understand that as a host, you will run into a diverse crowd of guests. Think you know your friends and coworkers? Wait till you meet them drunk. There are different levels of belligerence and sometimes just plain douche-ness you will experience, and it’s your responsibility as a host to make sure these “problem” guests don’t cause too much trouble. Some personalities you will definitely see:
-The Now Social Butterfly – this is the guy or girl at the party who really doesn’t say much while sober, yet a few shots in s/he’ll just stop giving a damn and will be willing to meet everyone who comes in. Saying hi to everyone, and introducing him/herself (sometimes twice), he or she will have comments to say about everything that everyone says. And most of the time, these comments are funny and make him or her come off as this really great, charismatic guy or girl. You won’t run into too many problems with these types.
Pros: He or she will improve the mood of your party, perhaps sparking up conversation between people who aren’t having a good time
Con: May convert into the touchy-feely over time
-The Touchy-Feely – This guy, when drunk, suddenly thinks he’s the shit, and will hit on anything that moves. And by hit on, I actually mean touch on, so really it’s more like he has no shame when he’s next to a girl, and will put his arm around her while introducing himself. Problems involved with this guy is that the girls he does interact with at your party will begin feeling uncomfortable, and will begin to question your judgment on your invite list. Also comes in female form (though that’s more of a rarity).
Pros: Two touchy-feely’s find each other (male and female, female and female, male and male…we’re inclusive!), away goes the problem
Cons: Everything I mentioned above
-The Emo Drunk – will begin to be quite open about his or her problems after a little drinky drinky, and upon hearing his or her own problems, will let him/herself go and begin crying in self-pity. The only problem with this drunk is that the crying creates a damper that happens to be quite a buzz kill.
Pros: Your relationship with this person may grow deeper since they finally decided to confide in you
Cons: May cause everyone to start crying along with them
-Likes to shout – like the name implies, this person likes to talk – LOUDLY. And won’t even realize it. Multiple people are needed to keep this person down, since they don’t realize that your neighbors can hear their cursing.
Pros: Can’t seem to think of any at the moment
Cons: Someone’s gotta walk this person home. If you and some other person is conscripted to this task, you’ll and this other person will have a lot of good bonding time (a chance to meet new friends!)
Be wary if you have a balcony or rooftop accessibility in your apartment. Inebriated guests do some crazy shit.
People will piss off of your balcony or rooftop if given the chance. Other, more destructive guests will take what they can and throw it off your rooftop or balcony (beach chairs from the pools or houseplants).
Chapter 6 – Unfortunately, You Still Have to Clean Up Afterwards
Let’s hope you didn’t drink too much last night at your own party, so you won’t have to rely on the pictures alone to help you recall what happened.
With all these preparations you made for the party before, cleaning up is actually one of the easier tasks, with the straightforwardness of it all. There will be stickiness on the walls and the doors, cups will be everywhere, your trash cans will be overflowing, your bathroom will probably look nasty, and there’s the possibility you could contract an STD if you walk on your floor barefoot. However, cleaning up isn’t that bad as long as you’re not the only one doing it (hooray for roommates!)
There are some things you will need to do post-party. First of all, if your neighbors left you nasty messages on your voicemail telling you that they heard every footstep last night, you’d better apologize to them in the morning. For those who you recall were completely wasted the night before, give them a call to ask them how they’re feeling – it’s the courteous thing to do. Wash everything – towels, rugs, couch slip covers. If you have a carpet and your friend owns a steam-vac, call that friend up. Finally, thank your roommates extensively, and compensate them for anything that may have been stolen or broken. Offer to pay for that broken picture frame, and buy a new block of block of cheese for your roommate, since he was such a good sport about it being stolen.
And there you go! A successful party in which all your guests were entertained and accounted for. You know they had fun cause the pictures on facebook say so, as do the stories you heard to help you piece together everything that happened that night. Sure, it may have cost you a paycheck and a half to pay for everything, countless hours of deliberation and planning were put into it, and afterwards your place looks like a mess, but think about it. You had fun, right? Everybody gained memories to share years down the line, and most of all so did you (if you didn’t black out), and in the end, doesn’t that make it all worth it?

Copyright © Mark Solomon MMVIII

"has anyone given you a hugh hefner-type robe for this?"
-RI

when all else fails

Time: 10:30am
Location: Work (OCH Dispatch/Covel Front Desk)

So this guy comes up to the desk, seems to be wearing what appears to be tux. He looks likes he needs to be at some sort of fancy event, though he’s holding his pants up and asks for a safety pin. From observation, it looks as if the button keeping his pants together has fallen off. I tell him that we don’t have any up here, sorry, and I suggest he head over to Hilltop (the student store here in the dorms), and ask for them there. “Shit,” he says, seemingly flustered.
A few minutes later, he comes back, still clutching his pants together. “No luck?” I ask him. Even more frustrated than before, he tells me “Nope. They told me they didn’t have any. If I was a pretty girl it might have been a different story.” Letting off a small and sarcastic chuckle, he adds “Do you happen to have a stapler I can use?”
Man, this guy was getting desperate. I proceed to hand him the stapler, which point he begins stapling his pants. I felt sorry for the guy, so I actually genuinely began looking for safety pins, paper clips, anything. Click, click, click goes the stapler. “Ah ha! A little luck there,” he exclaims after a few minutes. “Do you have any tape?”
Hot damn. Well, the man had a plan, no matter how desperate. “Man, this shit always happens when you least suspect it,” he begins, hands alternating from the tape, the stapler, and his pants. “You know Mr. Murphy always pops up when you don’t want him to.”
Yeah I know what you’re thinking. I was thinking the same thing, this coming from a man with his hands down his pants.
“Murphy’s Law is what I mean, of course,” he continues.
Phew.
“Yup,” I respond. “Everything can and will go wrong at some point.”
After a few more minutes of stapling, taping, and his grumbling, he gives up, and in a frustrated sigh goes, “This ain’t working. Thanks for your help though.” He begins rolling up his crotch staples and tape. “What was your name again?”
“Mark.”
“Well thanks Mark, you’ve been awesome.”
While the image of a grown man with a stapler at his crotch seems comical, I must ask you, what would you do in this situation? This guy had a problem, and he was resourceful. And though I wanted to break out in laughter with each passing click of the stapler, I had to feel sorry for the dude.

"Don't stress out. You are going to die anyway."
-MH

If I were a radio DJ pt.1...

...the theme would be music you can just "chill" to (I'll think of a better title later) Music stylings would center around a smooth, almost trance-y feel, laid back on the percussion and heavy on the obscure jazz and funk sampling, yet not too experimental. Hip-hop plays a major role in the playlists, though there are enough genre changes to keep open ears interested.

Theme/Opening Song: Souls of Mischief-93 til' Infinity
My Dedication (to you know who, and just so you know): Jim Croce-Time in a Bottle

and the 1st set would be:

Nujabes - Luv Sic
Robin Thicke - Complicated
Radiohead - Weird Fishes/Arpeggi
Wyclef Jean - Sweetest Girl (Remix)
Blue Man Group - Shadows Part 2
Royskopp - Remind Me
Cut Chemist - Freaky Flow
Medeski Martin and Wood - Last Chance to Dance Trances
Asheru - Mood Swing
Nujabes - Still Talking to You
Pharcyde - Passing Me By
Carl Thomas - Wish
Crown City Rockers - No Sense
Tribe Called Quest - Can I Kick It
Nujabes - Beyond
Trinah - Follow You
The Pacifics - Set It
Blue Man Group - Shadows
Michael McDonald - I Keep Forgetting
Musiq - Half Crazy
Common - The Corner
Radiohead - 2 and 2 = 5
Crown City Rockers - Without Love
Nujabes - F.I.L.O.
Maxwell - Softly
Cut Chemist - The Garden
Radiohead - 15 Step
Santana - El Farol
Pharcyde - Runnin'
Crown City Rockers - 10:53
Zion I - Bird's Eye View
Maxwell - Submerge: Til We Become the Sun
Keane - Sunshine
AmpLife - Weird Fishez
Blackstar - Respiration
Nujabes - Still Talking to You
Radiohead - How To Disappear Completely
dJ tAnK - Sgt. Rigby's Lonely Heart Club Band (Reprise)
The Shins - Sleeping Lessons
Robin Thicke - Teach U A Lesson
Common - I Want You
Nujabes - Lady Brown
Blue Man Group - Piano Smasher
Radiohead - Talk Show Host
Black Star - Thieves in the Night
Musiq ft. The Roots - Break You Off
Crown City Rockers - D Minor Nine

"...then out of nowhere, she just goes 'the black eyed peas are hip hop royalty.' fuck the black eyed peas."
-KV

posting for the sheer hell of posting

In celebration of leap year (and just so I can have the rare date posted as "2/29"), I have decided to just write something.

Hooray.

"Come on! Turn that frown upside down and take a flyer from me!...(silence as 5 people pass her by)...oh God help me."
-As heard and seen on Bruin Walk

with my blog on my mind and my mind on my blog

as quoted by a friend of mine. Seems to make sense, yet I don't really follow that since most things in my mind aren't in my blog (and for good reason, sometimes).

I've just been horrendously busy, these past few weeks, and especially with the large scale 316 student high school conference that I had a hand in orchestrating. I lost sleep, I neglected my own schoolwork at times, I typed hundreds of names, thousands of papers, attended budget hearing after budget hearing, endured the bad moods and subsequent yelling at by fellow directors, friends, and student advisors...

and for what?






yeah, that's why.

"Wow. Your students are so...urban."
-an observer of PREP's 25th Annual Day In A Life High School Conference

let it be

So I've been thinking alot lately.

It was only a couple of weeks ago it began. I got the email, the call, the flight was booked, I made the trip, I saw the family, and then at 5 in the morning, I got the call. Nearly exactly one week later, it's finally over, so to say.

Or is it? The fact that this past week happened to be the busiest week of the quarter kept my mind off the reality of the situation. School does a good job of that for most emotional situations.

I came home again a few days ago. Spoke at the wake, lifted the casket, watched it as it slowly descended.

Being in the presence of my whole family also helped to alleviate the reality of the situation, yet again.

And so that brings me here, back LA, the land of my school and work, the home of my everyday life.

I think that's when it finally hit me. I think that's when I realized that a part of what I grew up has disappeared. Forget the fact that I moved miles away from my family, for the fact that my parents moved away from the place I called home. My grandmother, who spent years taking care of me as a child and who I spent an equal amount of time taking care of while she lived with us is, well, gone. It's difficult, because she was such a part of my everyday life when I was still at home.
But I know that she's better off where she is now. This is all an inevitability, and it is always bound to happen sooner or later.

I'm not going to try and sound all emotional, because this isn't the place for it.

Rather, I think I made a realization on the long drive home alone. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives we don't realize how far our heads are up our asses to realize that there is a world outside of what we do every day. I'll admit, I've been fairly self-involved as of late. But coming back to this, this grind, I realize that not all's the same. and it sucks.

Ok I'm babbling and not making any sense now. But it's my blog and I can cry if I want to.

On a lighter note, happy belated fucking valentine's day, you poor,lovesick fools. May your temporary engagement with your "significant" other end in a less emotionally scarring heartbreak. As for me, I'm never looking at that day the same again, and it won't even have to with anything remotely involving relationships.

Amazing, I actually finished an entry for a change.

"Okininam!" (the spelling is questionable, but that's what it sounded like...you Ilocano speakers probably know what I'm trying to say)
-FS

you will be missed.

Florenda Cuaresma Solomon
March 23rd, 1917 - February 10th, 2008
 
FLORENDA CUARESMA SOLOMON Peacefully at rest in San Bruno, CA on February 10, 2008 after a full life’s journey. Cherished mom, mom-in-law, grandma, sister, aunt, ‘Ninang’ and friend. A remarkably genuine and special soul with the kindest heart and loved by many. A.k.a. Florence, Flor or ‘Benang’ (Ben) to family and friends. A long-time San Francisco resident. Born in Bacnotan, La Union of the Ilocos Norte area of the Philippines on March 23, 1917. Beloved daughter of the late Vicente and Inocencia Hernandez Cuaresma. Preceded in death by her dear husband Nicholas Solomon. Loving mother of Boyd and wife Vida Solomon and to Roger Solomon. Devoted grandmother to her adored Eric, Mark and Melyssa Solomon. Beloved sister of late brothers Mariano, Carlos and ‘Phil’ Feliciano Cuaresma. And late sisters Rosa Fagel and Adela Tamayo. Survived by eldest sister Pastora Esperon of the P.I. and dear youngest sister Maria ‘Conchita’ Eugenio (Pablo) of San Francisco. Also survived by many loving nieces, nephews, relatives, extended family and friends. Attended Arellano University in Manila, P.I. studying business commerce and psychology. Employed during WW II at Point Poro U.S. Army Base at San Fernando, La Union in the P.I. as secretary to officers in support of highly classified military matters. Arrived and settled in San Francisco, CA in 1954 where she proudly raised her family. And one of the comadres of the original pioneer Filipino community in S.F.’s SoMa in the 1950’s. Florenda was also a homemaker, employed at an India Basin fish-packing cannery during that S.F. era, a home health aide to a family friend; and a California CNA, landing her employment at the newly opened S.F. Convalescent Center in the 1970’s. Florenda especially loved her grandchildren, children and siblings. She cherished and enjoyed the growing years and precious moments shared with all. She loved the comforts of her home, delighted in preparing her signature dishes, enjoyed traveling with family, cared for and dearly loved all her animal friends, and truly had a green thumb for gardening. Also gifted in the handcraft of crocheting done the Filipina way. Many special thanks to true angels who watched over Florenda the last 6 months. Ethel, Irene, Lucy and Coi at the C&C’s Care Home for their so endearing compassion and care. And to the staff, especially Joan Innes, RN of Pathways Hospice for her devoted attention and professional support. Thank you for a life of care, love and memories. It’s been a privilege of a lifetime for all of us. We will miss you very much and always keep you forever in our hearts. Family and friends are welcome to visit after 3pm, Thursday February 14. 2008 followed by a Rosary also on Thursday at 7:30pm and the Funeral Service on Friday February 15, 2008 at 9:15 am from the Chapels of Valente Marini Perata & Co., 4840 Mission St. San Francisco. A Funeral Mass will be celebrated at 10:00 AM at Our Lady of the Visitacion Church at 655 Sunnydale Ave, San Francisco. Committal to follow at Skylawn Memorial Park.

"Wow, it actually happened. Youre gone forever. I'll miss you always and I love you forever. <333"
-MVS

it's amazing what I find...

...to do instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing (i.e. pro to the crastination). Stupid websites like this leaves me looking for more, one thing leads to another, and before I know it an hour has passed and I'm too tired to do anything else (that's what she said).

"On a side note, if you're one of those people who type f*ck or f_ck, my respect for you has been lowered considerably. If you don't wanna curse, just use another word. Censoring the vowel means you're acknowledging that it is a curse word, and you're using it. Get bent."
-SS

there comes a time when i must put the controller down...

...whether that be in the form of tv remote or ps2. Rather than give a detailed breakdown of how my break was, I'll just list off a few snippets of what i saw, discovered, did, etc. It may not all make sense without the backstories, but if you really want to know that badly, well...what else do you have to do with your time?

-Turning 21 only means the alcohol is more expensive. I discovered that when I paid $15 for an A.M.F. I know there's alot of alcohol in that drink, but daaamn!
-every other person I knew went to Vegas this break. and I wasn't invited once. (I'm not pissed, I just find it funny, seriously guys, really, yeah, haha)
-As seen on a sign back at home: "Adults buy alcohol for Hayward youth. Do you?" ah, I love my hometown.
-You may find it hard to believe, but apple orchards have a way of being more entertaining than Disneyland.
-I swear, National Treasure and National Treasure 2 are exactly the same movie...even the scene where they discover whatever treasure they're looking for is the same (find a torch, light something, the flames light up the whole room and tada there's the treasure, let's revel in its beauty, even though it looks suspiciously like the temple we found in the last movie we made).
-I'm actually kinda glad I put a whole lid on the whole "b" thing...in other words, things are pretty much back to normal. I should've expected this to happen, since it happens every time and I shouldn't get myself too involved. I guess that's why this time around I'm not as affected by it.(I haven't really told too many people about this, but those of you who do know...yeah.)
-Guitar hero is an addiction of mine I do not wish to admit too often. I found that out
-See the signs...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpxw0iCP4q4&eurl=http://ucla.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1057320003
-Hayward is fucking ghetto.
-my world at home was kinda turned upside down when I discovered some things about some people that I know. I'm not mad about it at all, but I guess I'm just surprised and kinda weirded out. damn kids. growing up way too fast now...
-I'm all legit now, bitches!
-Need I re-emphasize that Hayward is ghetto?
-I still find it hilarious when I look at the facebook profiles of people I used to go to middle school with and never got along with. So what are you all doing with your life now, huh? What's that? Nothing in particular? That's nice.
-There are only a very limited handful of people I still talk to and hang out with while at home. The numbers are dwindling, and I have a feeling its only gonna get worse before it gets better.
-The fact that I got $75 worth in Beverages and More gift cards this year for Christmas could mean either my family is acknowledging the fact that I am now 21 and can buy my own liquor, or they think I'm an alcoholic.
-And since we're on the subject of Christmas gifts, my favorite gift this year is still the "rotato": http://www.asseenontv.com/prod-pages/rotato.htm I've always seen this product on TV, thought it was hilarious, and now look. I have one sitting in my kitchen as I type. I haven't put it in action yet, but when I do, it had better be the best damn peeling job on a potato ever. But what can I say, I couldn't help the a-"peel" of the thing in the first place. ha, ha, ha, ha...ok I know, I'm horrible.

"maybe now you can find out how the orange slayed the rake. probably had a rotato. something to think about while on the john."
-CT

The past month can be summed up in the following phrase.

For a while there, I almost lost myself.

I keep forgetting.

Wow. tis been a while since I've written in here. Well I've had my reasons, as midterm season was upon us and in general things hadn't been going exactly as I'd like them to be. In the span of time since I've written, at the very least I've finally become legal to do things I have been doing anyway illegally, meaning nothing's changed except for the fact that I am completely legit now (happy birthday to me.)

In either case, I'm not one for emo rants (publically), and so I shall keep up with the trend. But if it's one thing I do want to address here, it's that after years of relationships, numbers of heartbreaks (done to me, and done by me as well), I've finally realized that love is a cycle. It never really begins the same with everyone, and it doesn't really end the same with everyone. But overall, there is a certain pattern to how love between two people work. There is a sequence that is somehow followed, and (un)fortunately, there's not much we can do to change this sequence.

Of course we are all familiar with the well known "honeymoon" period, in which whatever the relationship is, it is the most exciting. This period may be characterized by the first few dates or first few weeks or months of the relationship, in which it is difficult to find fault in the other person. This is the point where it's the most exciting, emotions run high, the relationship is most talked about with other people, and there are even cases when the person you are with just feels like "the one."

Needless to say, this period does not last very long. The thrill of the chase wears away, and suddenly "omg s/he likes me" turns into "omg what if h/she finds someone else more interesting than me?" The fall off in emotion is drastic, moreso for some than others. The existence of this "honeymoon" period is the reason why many relationships don't last any more than a few months at a time. The excitement wears off, and one day, suddenly one person realizes that the person they had been pursuing for this x amount of time is in fact really a douchebag. If not that, when the excitement wears off and the relationship turns into a something someone gets used to having, a habit per se, some couples freak out and wonder what the hell went wrong and decide to call it quits since the "spark" has gone out of the relationship. The truth is the spark never left, it just tuned into a huge flame, then finally settled down into a warm but constant burn. Not as exciting to watch as a shower of sparks or a large burning flame, but the feeling is still there. Unfortunately not everyone sees it that way, and as such give up or lose faith.

And so, if you and your lucky relationship happens to make it past this honeymoon period and it slowly becomes part of your life, then the ambiguity begins. In this stage, your feelings are tested to see if they are strong enough to continue to maintain a healthy (or somewhat healthy at least) relationship. Good luck to you, if you made it this far! At this point, the only thing that could end this relationship is...anything, really. It could be someone else, it could be somebody gets too busy, it could be somebody really begins to lose the feeling or decide what's the point of going with a relationship anyway...

At this point, you reach the hardest part of any relationship: the legitimate break up. This may include all or some of the following: arguments, false hope, extended silence over the phone or in person, short tempers, more arguments, depression, denial, and finally heart break. Yeah, it sucks. But it's all a part of these crazy things we call relationships. There's almost no avoiding this part (unless you end up getting married, have kids, and grow up old with each other). But hey, it's just a part of life, and though at the time it really sucks, it's something we all have to go through if we do decide to take the gamble of devoting ourselves to another human being. Breaking up is a crappy feeling, it's depressing, it may even make you feel like it's the worst time EVER in your life. But hey, it happens to everyone, and it's just a part of life. All relationships have to go through it at some point in time, and though the feeling sucks, there's not much you can do to avoid it. Time will pass though, you'll learn to live your own life again eventually no matter how hard it may seem (thus the song lyrics: Well, I’ve been afraid of changing ’cause I built my life around you). It takes time, but eventually you'll be able to look back and laugh at how obsessed you used to be. I always use this little snippet: think about how different you were 2 years ago. Big difference huh? Now think about how different you'll be 2 years from now. So much will happen, so much will change, so there's no sense in doting over how shitty things are now. Life will always change.

I've gone over this with many of my other friends who are going through tough times in terms of relationships. Hey, shit happens, na mean? But there are so many larger things in life you could be stressing out about. You may have school, your career, your family, and most importantly yourself. Sometimes you just need to figure out what it is you want in yourself before you try and figure out what you want in someone else.

That all said, I figure it's time I start listening to my own advice.

"Stop being emo and find some damn meaning in your life!"
-SK

at the risk of sounding emo...

How come I end up where I started?
How come I end up where I went wrong?
Won't take my eyes off the ball again
You reel me out then you cut the string

How come I end up where I started?
How come I end up where I went wrong?
I won't take my eyes off the ball again
First you reel me out and then you cut the string

You used to be alright
What happened?
Did the cat get your tongue?
Did your string come undone?

One by one
One by one
It comes to us all
It's as soft as your pillow

You used to be alright
What happened
Et cetera, et cetera
Facts for whatever
Fifteen steps
Then a sheer drop

How come I end up where I started?
How can I end up where I went wrong?
Won't take my eyes off the ball again
You reel me out and you cut the string

radiohead - 15 step

I just received a reality check. it bounced.

Life comes at you fast, huh?
I made that realization today while gracefully cruising at 4 mph on 10 East this morning. As a recently-downloaded-to-my-ipod Kool Moe Dee's "I go to work" blasted through my speakers, aside from thinking that late 80s rap is actually pretty catchy, I began to ponder about what I was getting myself into. Well, I knew what I was getting into, it was an interview with a transportation planning firm. But to look at things more abstractly, I figured this is kind of like taking the first step into what I could be doing for the rest of my life.

Rest of my life? That phrase is scary enough as it is.

The school year up to this point has been...different for me. My involvements with student groups and other traditionally college activities (i.e. random parties, trick or treating in the surrounding neighborhoods) have been at a minimum at best. I convince myself that this is the case because I chose it to be, that I didn't involve myself in student groups or didn't enjoy bruin bash or didn't hiss at that person who wore a USC sweater on campus because I chose to. I somehow convinced myself that I've outgrown these things and that I needed to start thinking about what I would be doing in the future. For the rest of my life.

On the same note, aside from the interviews and the resume building and the research and the year planning and the many hours I spend in work, I've also come to realize something (as was brought up by a friend of mine). We're in college. And more accurately, we're still in college. I mean, when's the next time you'll be able to call your friend at 2:30am and go out to get that early morning/late night snack at that 24 hour tofu place knowing that your friend has to be at work at 7am? Or when's the next time you'll be able to walk around your neighborhood scantily clad in search of a party at some random friend of a friend of a friend of a cousin of a friend's apartment and not be considered a hooker? Or when's the next time you'll be able to down 2 forties, take 12 shots, black out, and wake up the next morning with only pictures and and vomit on the carpet to inform you of your whereabouts and the many regrettable acts that took place the night before, and be able to laugh about it with your friend the next day amidst all the awkwardness that ensues because she's the one you made out with the night before?

So it's reflections like these that really make me wonder whether I'm going about things correctly. Am I trying to grow up too damn quickly? Yeah, I know I need to plan for the future so come next June I'm not sitting on my ass at home spending my free time trying to beat my high score on Wii bowling. At the same time, I know I need to stop, slow down, and try and enjoy the freedom to partake in all the aforementioned activities (and oh so much more) while I still can.

...Well, I technically still can continue to do everything. I just won't be able to get away with it as easily.

"getting my degree has been the worst thing ever"
-LN

revamp.

I'd like to take a break from the my relationship rantings to say just this: I am most productive and creative when there are 9 other tasks I should be tending to, i.e. new format here, yet I still have a book to read and a six page paper to write.

I also would like to express my disbelief in that fact that my next door neighbors are playing beer pong at this hour. It's 11am on a Sunday, dammit!

I had so much more to say, but like my sanity, it has escaped me at the moment.

"you better be gettin laid."
-EB

I'm expecting recoil from this...

last time: let's face the facts
today: what's true about (almost) every woman
part 3: courtship/maintaining that somewhat healthy relationship
part 4: ex's-how to fend off, deal with, or become
---

When I left last time, I concluded that women are confusing creatures that we men fail to understand. Now I'm not going to get into a discussion where we try to figure out why the man doesn't understand his woman, whether it's his fault for giving up on trying to understand because he himself doesn't understand himself or what he's doing wrong, or whether it's her fault for just being too damn confusing to begin with. Either way, I know I'm hardly qualified to to be writing a piece on the behavioral traits of the female, and as such I'm expecting the deserved criticism. So if you feel necessary, comment away.

What's true about (almost) every woman: or...shh, don't let them know we kinda caught on...

Now, I know the following may not be true for all women, and every relationship is different, but thus the semi-universality of this piece.

Women don't know what they want. And I'm not just talking about indecisiveness (though the trait rings true for many). When it comes to relationships, some women may be all like "oh I know exactly what I want in a man, I've got standards, etc etc." and some of those women will actually stick to those standards. I want this, I want that-I hear it all the time.

Now that's one thing women are perfectly sure of: what they want in a person (or what they don't want, sometimes). But when they finally find what they want, or at least something close to it, something clicks in their head, and all of a sudden what they want isn't good enough or there is suddenly a list of reasons why they shouldn't get with the person.

Vary vague case in point: Girl has a healthy relationship going. However, she is unsatisified because although this is a perfectly good relationship, she fails to see the point of staying with him, dumps him. Then a few days later she complains about never being able to find a decent relationship.

But it's a true story nonetheless. And with this same person, the cycle had been repeated multiple times (in the end, she just got back with her ex). Although this is an extreme case, it's not the only time I've seen it happen (the other stories aren't as interesting).

But not knowing what they want can stem in other forms. Case in point:(and she'll probably hate me for citing her), but I was involved in a relationship in which she couldn't figure out whether or not she wanted to be with me. Multiple times she broke up with me for whatever reason (but most of the time, it was because she was in pursuit of someone else). Okay, so it's pretty clear she doesn't want to be with me, right? Well that's funny, cause as soon as I begin to pursue someone else, suddenly she wants to be with me again. Hm. So did she want to be with me or not? She didn't even know.

The above is also a case of territorialism, another common trait of many women. Okay, so it's true for guys too, but the mentality of most guys when someone else enters their former (or current) significant others is "oh, I guess she's moved on. me now go sad and emo." But that's not necessarily the case with women. The moment someone else enters the life of a former man, then girls suddenly want to be with them even moreso than before. Suddenly, there's a desire to not allow the other girl (though 'that bitch' is the more common terminality) to 'win.' Shit talking commences, the hating begins, and all the blame goes towards 'that bitch.' It never does occur to the woman though, that she did break up with the guy to begin with, so maybe it's her fault he moved on? And on the flipside, it never occurs to blame the guy on the awful decision he made on choosing 'that bitch.'

Cases in point: girl breaks up with guy because relationship is in rut. No attempts are made to get back with the guy until he begins to talk to another girl. Girl is driven crazy, making statements such as "it's ok as long as he's happy...that girl is a bitch...it's fine as long as it's anyone but her..." ...and so on and so forth....case two: girl breaks up with guy, she moves on, finds another man, but at the very point he finds someone else: "oh, I'm so hurt..."

Okay, once again, extreme cases, but real life cases nonetheless.

Maybe all my interactions happen to be with the same kinds of women. Maybe my bias is playing into this because of my personal experiences. And I know I haven't touched on everything and there's so much more that needs to be written.
But regardless, I've run into these situations way too many times to discount them as outliers.

Next time: How to land the woman (or women) of your dreams, and how to keep her from landing back into your dreams

"you are full of wisdom =)"
-TC

because you don't want to end up "solo"

I've always believed that someday I could write a relationship column or article or whatever someday. I mean, I've read enough Cosmo articles and MSN relationship articles online to get an idea of what "works" and what doesn't. I don't want to sound cocky, but I'll say the relationships I have been in have given me experience with so many very different kinds of people. And believe me, I hear alot about others and their relationships.

And that above being my vague credentials, here I'm beginning part one of my four part series: "The Semi-Universal Guide: How to not end up solo."
---

It's a complicated process, these things called relationships. It's amazing the extents to which us guys will go to please "man's better half." There are so many lengths we all go through to impress the woman (or for some, the women) of our dreams. Believe or not, ladies, but we obsess about relationships and the opposite sex just as much as you do. Even when it is the most irrational thing we could ever do, we will always try to do what we can to get what we want when it comes to the opposite sex. It's dangerous. My friend once told me that he was told as a young child that the only thing that could ever bring him down would be a female.

Yes, us men are the epitome of devotion and persistence when it comes to women. The only trouble is that we don't understand why. We don't understand why because we don't understand you.

Ok let's face it guys. Women are confusing creatures. Think about your last few run-ins with a female you liked or were with. Tell me there wasn't at least one time where you thought "what the fuck?" There's a fairly general consensus that men don't understand women. We don't know why they get mad, why they get sad, what we do that's so wrong, why they say some of the things they say, why they won't call us, why they do call us, why they don't like us, why they do like us, why they don't understand why we get confused when they get mad and we don't understand why...and etc.

The idea that men don't understand is a trite and well-known fact. It's scientifically proven. And chances are, alot of us men already have learned that fact the hard way. But with everything and everyone I've run into, I must say that there are a few traits of women that are consistent. But that's for my next column.

Next time: What's true about (almost) every woman

"I thought by this time we would be having rampaging sex."
-BM

you've gotta be kidding me

To avoid having to pay the extra $.25 for laundry (and the fact that 3 washing machines for the whole building just isn't enough), my friends and I have a laundry ritual that involves dragging (or driving, really) all of our dirty clothes and washing them in the dorms. I mean, with laundromat-like facilities and a washing machine price that's a whole $.25 less than our machines, it's just more convenient.

Anyways, we underwent one of these laundry rituals the other day. Everything seemed normal, we had some unsuspecting student open the doors for us to the building and later into the laundry room, we put our laundry in, and basically chilled there for the complete 106 minutes that comprised the washing machine and drying time.

(Get to the punch line!)

Yeah, ok. So, this kid enters the room, walks up to one of the washers and dryers (they're a single unit with the dryers on top), and opens both doors of the machine. After a second of speculation, the kid looks up at us and asks us "so what do I do now?" A little shocked at first, we hesitated to answer, and confirmed that he wanted to dry the clothes that had just finished the wash cycle. We explained to him that he had to put the clothes in the dryer. So he did so. His next question shocked us even more: he asked if he should close the door to the dryer. We were of course friendly and understanding about the whole situation, and naturally assumed he was a a freshman learning to do laundry on his own for the very first time. We then asked him to confirm that. but the answer was even more shocking: he was actually a second year.

Let me warn you that from this point on, it gets worse.

Um, ok, so how did he do laundry all his first year? He told us his mom comes over every couple of weeks to do his laundry. Not only that, his mom lives two hours away. TWO HOURS. He told us he thinks it helps keep their relationship together or something.

SERIOUSLY?

I dunno. I think cases like that just epitomizes all the stereotypes that college students (regardless of book smarts) are still helpless little children whose parents baby them and who are incapable of taking care of themselves on their own. I mean, I've run into extreme cases before (I heard once of a student calling their landlord once so he would change the lightbulb for them), but this is up there. If it's one thing I've learned, it's that alot of students are smart, but they're not intelligent. They're learned, but they're not bright. Well, most of them aren't anyway. Now, I may not be smart enough to be at the top of my class or to have intelligent conversations about global economics in a post 9/11 world, but I'm glad I've got some common sense in me.

Parents, teach your kids to take care of themselves. Teach them how to do laundry, teach them how to change light bulbs, teach them that they should shower daily or at least enough so their roommates won't put a petri dish in their bed to attract fungus for their microbiology class(and successfully grow said fungus).

"Kids, if you really wanna piss off your parents, buy real estate in an imaginary place."
-Imaginary Places - Busdriver

let's not get all dramatic now...

first day of school today (or yesterday, technically). as I emerged from my apartment and strolled along what would be my commute to class everyday, I had a realization: holy shit this is the first day of class of my last year in college. it's kinda strange when I think about it. I remember the first day of class of my first year in college (I managed to fall asleep in class already). ah that's the first and last time I take a course in astrophysics.

but aside from that reflection, I ran into an interesting (or should I say predictable) debacle in class today. so I'm enrolled in Tagalog, right? but I was one of those unfortunate souls who happened to be on the waitlist (I've made it from 11 to 9, bitches!) however, the problem is that the class was capped and thus...us unfortunate 14 were not able to take the class. so we did what any good Filipino would do (after the proper incitement from our professors): bitch and complain about what we want and how it's sOo unfair because we're brown. "it's your ball game...it's your chance to tell people how we feel...because you have a right to take a Filipino-Tagalog class if you want to...is it because of racism?"

so that all said and with the right people pissed off (some of them went so far as to "call their mamas" to give the dean some lip), the waitlisted 14 convened outside the classroom and drafted a letter explaining our woes and what we wanted, which essentially was another section for our class. we got the letter signed by everyone in the class, typed it, printed it, and marched on over to the dean's office. as expected, we were stopped by the secretary, directed towards some other guy's office, and were redirected once again. at that point it had already been 2 hours and people had to go to other classes or whatever they were up to.

my conclusion? activism leads to...not much. let's be mature about this: it ain't personal so don't try and make it that way. we only lose credibility.

"it is in the nature of us Filipinos to complain to get what we want. that is the only way to make change."
-Prof. Andersson


...and that's why the country is in constant turmoil.

life lessons, learned and re-learned

Today/tonight defintely was a re/learning experience for me. Alot of things I'd already known or learned the hard way before had to be reiterated to me tonight, and the thing that pisses me off is that I knew all this before! Yet I still continue to do these things...

lesson: rap concerts never turn out well.
And especially those rap artists who are mainstream and whose lyrics in certain songs consist mainly of "why you wanna go and do that huh?" For example: went to go see T.I. tonight. I know of maybe, 3 or 4 songs of his, though he is a mainstream rap artist. I've learned this lesson before, with Talib Kweli, Living Legends, Lupe Fiasco (though Common gave a pretty good show): many hip-hop songs just sound better on recording. Don't get me wrong, I love the music...most of it just doesn't sound good live. Besides, I'm not even that great of a fan of T.I. anyway.

lesson: I've outgrown the whole random party thing.
Hell, I think I've even learned this summer that I might be outgrowing the whole party thing really. But there was just something tonight that clicked in me (again) that made me realize that I probably shouldn't go out to the parties of people I don't know. Went out to some party at the "Love Boat" with some of Rene's A-Phi-O friends. The lights were dimmed, the room was crowded, the place was muggy. Music blaring out of those creature speakers, people gathered together to pour shots, get together to take a picture with the shot, and take the shot accordingly. Following was a few seconds of silence while the shot was digested, and almost immediately the group of people reconvenes again behind a digital camera for yet another picture. Seems like something that would be fun amongst people you know, but I've realized that I'm just not that into college parties anymore, especially the ones that your roommates bring you to. Arrival time: 12:38am. Departure time: 12:46am.

lesson: I don't care what you say, Budweiser is shit.
Especially warm Budweiser.

lesson: there is such thing as too much time with someone.
let's not get into that.

lesson: don't buy anything for the home unless you are completely sure that it actually fits
I should've taken the measurement first before I spent $5.99 at Target for that stupid towel rack.

lesson: one glass of red wine a day is good for you
It also makes a good night cap. I've almost forgotten the good buzz it leaves you with too.

lesson: good TV after 2am is hard to come by nowadays.
And yet I'm still watching.

"I applied for a job at the mental hospital today. They said I need 24 hours experience with a retard. So uh...do u want 2 hang out?"
-RM

temporary retirement

...or, unemployment, to put it more bluntly.

It's been over a week since my last day at the job that defined much of my life the past couple of years. I can't imagine too many things I have involved myself in that wasn't connected in some way, shape or form in this thing called access control. I remember how I was first intrigued by the job, how I had known few people who were in it, how I applied, was 20 minutes late for the interview, and how I finally met the faces I recognized behind those tall green desks and black machines. Little did I know how much this job which required me to be a professional piece of nighttime decorative furniture would affect me.

And though I can thank this job for many of the friends I've made, many of the parties I've attended/hosted, many of the hours of sleep I've lost, much of my love life and most of the times I've blacked out, I can't help but wonder why I was able to just give it up so easily this year. It was a fun and memorable experience, and I'll probably be talking about it for years on out, but I guess this is just an indication that I've decided to move on and "grow up," cause as I've always said, there's so much more we could be doing in the 8 hours we sit in these chairs and slide identification cards through a machine.

But I've been wondering lately, "what else could I be doing?" as I sit at my desk at night reading through the anonymous confessions of people through homemade postcards. Naw, I can't say I regret leaving this job. I don't miss the hours and I don't miss the residents. I will miss the people though. It was a tough job, and after those long nights we would come out of it better friends cause we survived through that 8 hour long "battle" (as Alan put it) together. Yeah, I'll miss that. But it's time to move on, it's time to get back to sleep.

And besides, as long as the facebook invites keep coming, I'm happy.

"Rieber 1 to OCH Dispatch, I'll be signing off my radio for the year. If you need to reach me, you can do so via facebook, email, or landline. Thank you and have a good night. I have officially stopped caring."
-Solo's last radio call

forgot to click "publish post."

Upon looking at my computer's clock one day recently, I made a slightly horrifying realization: Wow. It is the middle of September. It is thus nearly the end of the summer. Reflecting on this fact, I thought about everything that had happened in these past three months, all the highs and the lows, the fun times and the downright emotional times, the times when I felt that this summer would never end and the times I felt that everything was just happening so suddenly.

It's been an interesting summer, and it's sometimes hard to believe how much things have changed since that day I lugged a carload of my belongings down four stories with no elevator (today the situation is practically the same...though now I'm lugging a carload of my belongings up two stories with an elevator using only a grocery cart). Yes, those were different times and I was different then. It feels like only yesterday, while at the same time the situation seems so foreign to me.

How and why did so much change over the course of these past three months? It's only a short while, but the amount of detail I could into could have me writing for days.

But it's not to say that it was a bad summer. It's been enjoyable at best, yet there are some regrettable things that happened as well. I will admit, I have done things this summer that I am not entirely proud of at all, and well if I could, I would change what I did. But alas, my only justification is that I was a truly different person back then, and at the time I was going through a sort of phase, I guess. But aside from that I must say that this probably has been one of my more eventful summers (though it still comes short of last year). I've traveled, I've partied, I've visited family, I've made new friends, I've made a little money on the side, I made it on national
television in polka dot pajama pants, I've made my brain more susceptible to seizures and rotting on account of hours upon hours of watching a screen filled with colorful dots and lines. It's been interesting. It's been fun.

Aside from all this, I still can't help but wonder that I've gained nothing this summer. People I know had internships, studied abroad, or other various exciting activities. I mean, I worked two jobs, spent all my time at work, lost most of my day to sleep, and my free time was spent analyzing passages such as "Faith is just this paradox, that the single individual as the particular is higher than the universal, is justified before the latter, not as subordinate but superior, though in such a way, be it noted, that it is the single individual who, having been subordinate to the universal as the particular, now by means of the universal becomes that individual who, as the particular, stands in an absolute relation to the absolute."

Did you catch that?

I mean, I feel like I would've accomplished more had I not worked as much and sat on my ass all day. At the very least, my brain and my body would have had a break. Now it's already the end of summer and all I'm really feeling is a sense of burnout. Fall quarter is nothing to look forward to either, with school just waiting to take me out for another horrendous spin. It's just a scary feeling knowing that this truly is the beginning of the end of this parable we call our college careers.(and for the record, yes I reserve the right to relate our college careers to parables as there are many lessons learned along the way).

Look, I'm even too burned out to continue writing.

"I don't get it, Mark. You're not that great."
-LT

siks.

6.

Put that number 3 times in a row and you've got something evil going on.
That's twice the number of days Jesus spent in his tomb.
According to Wikipedia, 6 (six) is the natural number following 5 and preceding 7. Six is the second smallest composite number, its proper divisors being 1, 2 and 3. Since six equals the sum of these proper divisors, six is a perfect number.

A perfect number, eh? Guess 6th time is a charm...

That is the amount of online journals, blogs, whatever you wanna call them that I have started and unsuccessfully kept. The length of the blogs range from as long as a year and two months to a mere 55 minutes. The websites on which these blogs existed range from diaryland to xanga to blogspot. Needless to say, my attempts to start online journals have been inconsistent and flaky at best. I tend to lose interest in writing in these things after a while, since seemingly I only write when I'm feeling emotional. But I guess this is a trend I can break this time around, possibly. I say this every time, but will this one stand the test of time and my ultimate un-desire to write? I always answer the same way too: m'eh.

But why now? Why should I decide now to provide a place for others to be able to read into the depths of my life? Following the crowd? Or am I just feeling a sudden urge to vent again? Should I write about my day/week/month here? Or should I save this for my commentary on life in general? Hell, I dunno. First thing I've gotta worry about is making sure I actually continue to write in this thing anyway. That said...