12/27/07
12/1/07
I keep forgetting.
Wow. tis been a while since I've written in here. Well I've had my reasons, as midterm season was upon us and in general things hadn't been going exactly as I'd like them to be. In the span of time since I've written, at the very least I've finally become legal to do things I have been doing anyway illegally, meaning nothing's changed except for the fact that I am completely legit now (happy birthday to me.)
In either case, I'm not one for emo rants (publically), and so I shall keep up with the trend. But if it's one thing I do want to address here, it's that after years of relationships, numbers of heartbreaks (done to me, and done by me as well), I've finally realized that love is a cycle. It never really begins the same with everyone, and it doesn't really end the same with everyone. But overall, there is a certain pattern to how love between two people work. There is a sequence that is somehow followed, and (un)fortunately, there's not much we can do to change this sequence.
Of course we are all familiar with the well known "honeymoon" period, in which whatever the relationship is, it is the most exciting. This period may be characterized by the first few dates or first few weeks or months of the relationship, in which it is difficult to find fault in the other person. This is the point where it's the most exciting, emotions run high, the relationship is most talked about with other people, and there are even cases when the person you are with just feels like "the one."
Needless to say, this period does not last very long. The thrill of the chase wears away, and suddenly "omg s/he likes me" turns into "omg what if h/she finds someone else more interesting than me?" The fall off in emotion is drastic, moreso for some than others. The existence of this "honeymoon" period is the reason why many relationships don't last any more than a few months at a time. The excitement wears off, and one day, suddenly one person realizes that the person they had been pursuing for this x amount of time is in fact really a douchebag. If not that, when the excitement wears off and the relationship turns into a something someone gets used to having, a habit per se, some couples freak out and wonder what the hell went wrong and decide to call it quits since the "spark" has gone out of the relationship. The truth is the spark never left, it just tuned into a huge flame, then finally settled down into a warm but constant burn. Not as exciting to watch as a shower of sparks or a large burning flame, but the feeling is still there. Unfortunately not everyone sees it that way, and as such give up or lose faith.
And so, if you and your lucky relationship happens to make it past this honeymoon period and it slowly becomes part of your life, then the ambiguity begins. In this stage, your feelings are tested to see if they are strong enough to continue to maintain a healthy (or somewhat healthy at least) relationship. Good luck to you, if you made it this far! At this point, the only thing that could end this relationship is...anything, really. It could be someone else, it could be somebody gets too busy, it could be somebody really begins to lose the feeling or decide what's the point of going with a relationship anyway...
At this point, you reach the hardest part of any relationship: the legitimate break up. This may include all or some of the following: arguments, false hope, extended silence over the phone or in person, short tempers, more arguments, depression, denial, and finally heart break. Yeah, it sucks. But it's all a part of these crazy things we call relationships. There's almost no avoiding this part (unless you end up getting married, have kids, and grow up old with each other). But hey, it's just a part of life, and though at the time it really sucks, it's something we all have to go through if we do decide to take the gamble of devoting ourselves to another human being. Breaking up is a crappy feeling, it's depressing, it may even make you feel like it's the worst time EVER in your life. But hey, it happens to everyone, and it's just a part of life. All relationships have to go through it at some point in time, and though the feeling sucks, there's not much you can do to avoid it. Time will pass though, you'll learn to live your own life again eventually no matter how hard it may seem (thus the song lyrics: Well, I’ve been afraid of changing ’cause I built my life around you). It takes time, but eventually you'll be able to look back and laugh at how obsessed you used to be. I always use this little snippet: think about how different you were 2 years ago. Big difference huh? Now think about how different you'll be 2 years from now. So much will happen, so much will change, so there's no sense in doting over how shitty things are now. Life will always change.
I've gone over this with many of my other friends who are going through tough times in terms of relationships. Hey, shit happens, na mean? But there are so many larger things in life you could be stressing out about. You may have school, your career, your family, and most importantly yourself. Sometimes you just need to figure out what it is you want in yourself before you try and figure out what you want in someone else.
That all said, I figure it's time I start listening to my own advice.
"Stop being emo and find some damn meaning in your life!"
-SK
In either case, I'm not one for emo rants (publically), and so I shall keep up with the trend. But if it's one thing I do want to address here, it's that after years of relationships, numbers of heartbreaks (done to me, and done by me as well), I've finally realized that love is a cycle. It never really begins the same with everyone, and it doesn't really end the same with everyone. But overall, there is a certain pattern to how love between two people work. There is a sequence that is somehow followed, and (un)fortunately, there's not much we can do to change this sequence.
Of course we are all familiar with the well known "honeymoon" period, in which whatever the relationship is, it is the most exciting. This period may be characterized by the first few dates or first few weeks or months of the relationship, in which it is difficult to find fault in the other person. This is the point where it's the most exciting, emotions run high, the relationship is most talked about with other people, and there are even cases when the person you are with just feels like "the one."
Needless to say, this period does not last very long. The thrill of the chase wears away, and suddenly "omg s/he likes me" turns into "omg what if h/she finds someone else more interesting than me?" The fall off in emotion is drastic, moreso for some than others. The existence of this "honeymoon" period is the reason why many relationships don't last any more than a few months at a time. The excitement wears off, and one day, suddenly one person realizes that the person they had been pursuing for this x amount of time is in fact really a douchebag. If not that, when the excitement wears off and the relationship turns into a something someone gets used to having, a habit per se, some couples freak out and wonder what the hell went wrong and decide to call it quits since the "spark" has gone out of the relationship. The truth is the spark never left, it just tuned into a huge flame, then finally settled down into a warm but constant burn. Not as exciting to watch as a shower of sparks or a large burning flame, but the feeling is still there. Unfortunately not everyone sees it that way, and as such give up or lose faith.
And so, if you and your lucky relationship happens to make it past this honeymoon period and it slowly becomes part of your life, then the ambiguity begins. In this stage, your feelings are tested to see if they are strong enough to continue to maintain a healthy (or somewhat healthy at least) relationship. Good luck to you, if you made it this far! At this point, the only thing that could end this relationship is...anything, really. It could be someone else, it could be somebody gets too busy, it could be somebody really begins to lose the feeling or decide what's the point of going with a relationship anyway...
At this point, you reach the hardest part of any relationship: the legitimate break up. This may include all or some of the following: arguments, false hope, extended silence over the phone or in person, short tempers, more arguments, depression, denial, and finally heart break. Yeah, it sucks. But it's all a part of these crazy things we call relationships. There's almost no avoiding this part (unless you end up getting married, have kids, and grow up old with each other). But hey, it's just a part of life, and though at the time it really sucks, it's something we all have to go through if we do decide to take the gamble of devoting ourselves to another human being. Breaking up is a crappy feeling, it's depressing, it may even make you feel like it's the worst time EVER in your life. But hey, it happens to everyone, and it's just a part of life. All relationships have to go through it at some point in time, and though the feeling sucks, there's not much you can do to avoid it. Time will pass though, you'll learn to live your own life again eventually no matter how hard it may seem (thus the song lyrics: Well, I’ve been afraid of changing ’cause I built my life around you). It takes time, but eventually you'll be able to look back and laugh at how obsessed you used to be. I always use this little snippet: think about how different you were 2 years ago. Big difference huh? Now think about how different you'll be 2 years from now. So much will happen, so much will change, so there's no sense in doting over how shitty things are now. Life will always change.
I've gone over this with many of my other friends who are going through tough times in terms of relationships. Hey, shit happens, na mean? But there are so many larger things in life you could be stressing out about. You may have school, your career, your family, and most importantly yourself. Sometimes you just need to figure out what it is you want in yourself before you try and figure out what you want in someone else.
That all said, I figure it's time I start listening to my own advice.
"Stop being emo and find some damn meaning in your life!"
-SK
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