12/27/07
12/1/07
I keep forgetting.
Wow. tis been a while since I've written in here. Well I've had my reasons, as midterm season was upon us and in general things hadn't been going exactly as I'd like them to be. In the span of time since I've written, at the very least I've finally become legal to do things I have been doing anyway illegally, meaning nothing's changed except for the fact that I am completely legit now (happy birthday to me.)
In either case, I'm not one for emo rants (publically), and so I shall keep up with the trend. But if it's one thing I do want to address here, it's that after years of relationships, numbers of heartbreaks (done to me, and done by me as well), I've finally realized that love is a cycle. It never really begins the same with everyone, and it doesn't really end the same with everyone. But overall, there is a certain pattern to how love between two people work. There is a sequence that is somehow followed, and (un)fortunately, there's not much we can do to change this sequence.
Of course we are all familiar with the well known "honeymoon" period, in which whatever the relationship is, it is the most exciting. This period may be characterized by the first few dates or first few weeks or months of the relationship, in which it is difficult to find fault in the other person. This is the point where it's the most exciting, emotions run high, the relationship is most talked about with other people, and there are even cases when the person you are with just feels like "the one."
Needless to say, this period does not last very long. The thrill of the chase wears away, and suddenly "omg s/he likes me" turns into "omg what if h/she finds someone else more interesting than me?" The fall off in emotion is drastic, moreso for some than others. The existence of this "honeymoon" period is the reason why many relationships don't last any more than a few months at a time. The excitement wears off, and one day, suddenly one person realizes that the person they had been pursuing for this x amount of time is in fact really a douchebag. If not that, when the excitement wears off and the relationship turns into a something someone gets used to having, a habit per se, some couples freak out and wonder what the hell went wrong and decide to call it quits since the "spark" has gone out of the relationship. The truth is the spark never left, it just tuned into a huge flame, then finally settled down into a warm but constant burn. Not as exciting to watch as a shower of sparks or a large burning flame, but the feeling is still there. Unfortunately not everyone sees it that way, and as such give up or lose faith.
And so, if you and your lucky relationship happens to make it past this honeymoon period and it slowly becomes part of your life, then the ambiguity begins. In this stage, your feelings are tested to see if they are strong enough to continue to maintain a healthy (or somewhat healthy at least) relationship. Good luck to you, if you made it this far! At this point, the only thing that could end this relationship is...anything, really. It could be someone else, it could be somebody gets too busy, it could be somebody really begins to lose the feeling or decide what's the point of going with a relationship anyway...
At this point, you reach the hardest part of any relationship: the legitimate break up. This may include all or some of the following: arguments, false hope, extended silence over the phone or in person, short tempers, more arguments, depression, denial, and finally heart break. Yeah, it sucks. But it's all a part of these crazy things we call relationships. There's almost no avoiding this part (unless you end up getting married, have kids, and grow up old with each other). But hey, it's just a part of life, and though at the time it really sucks, it's something we all have to go through if we do decide to take the gamble of devoting ourselves to another human being. Breaking up is a crappy feeling, it's depressing, it may even make you feel like it's the worst time EVER in your life. But hey, it happens to everyone, and it's just a part of life. All relationships have to go through it at some point in time, and though the feeling sucks, there's not much you can do to avoid it. Time will pass though, you'll learn to live your own life again eventually no matter how hard it may seem (thus the song lyrics: Well, I’ve been afraid of changing ’cause I built my life around you). It takes time, but eventually you'll be able to look back and laugh at how obsessed you used to be. I always use this little snippet: think about how different you were 2 years ago. Big difference huh? Now think about how different you'll be 2 years from now. So much will happen, so much will change, so there's no sense in doting over how shitty things are now. Life will always change.
I've gone over this with many of my other friends who are going through tough times in terms of relationships. Hey, shit happens, na mean? But there are so many larger things in life you could be stressing out about. You may have school, your career, your family, and most importantly yourself. Sometimes you just need to figure out what it is you want in yourself before you try and figure out what you want in someone else.
That all said, I figure it's time I start listening to my own advice.
"Stop being emo and find some damn meaning in your life!"
-SK
In either case, I'm not one for emo rants (publically), and so I shall keep up with the trend. But if it's one thing I do want to address here, it's that after years of relationships, numbers of heartbreaks (done to me, and done by me as well), I've finally realized that love is a cycle. It never really begins the same with everyone, and it doesn't really end the same with everyone. But overall, there is a certain pattern to how love between two people work. There is a sequence that is somehow followed, and (un)fortunately, there's not much we can do to change this sequence.
Of course we are all familiar with the well known "honeymoon" period, in which whatever the relationship is, it is the most exciting. This period may be characterized by the first few dates or first few weeks or months of the relationship, in which it is difficult to find fault in the other person. This is the point where it's the most exciting, emotions run high, the relationship is most talked about with other people, and there are even cases when the person you are with just feels like "the one."
Needless to say, this period does not last very long. The thrill of the chase wears away, and suddenly "omg s/he likes me" turns into "omg what if h/she finds someone else more interesting than me?" The fall off in emotion is drastic, moreso for some than others. The existence of this "honeymoon" period is the reason why many relationships don't last any more than a few months at a time. The excitement wears off, and one day, suddenly one person realizes that the person they had been pursuing for this x amount of time is in fact really a douchebag. If not that, when the excitement wears off and the relationship turns into a something someone gets used to having, a habit per se, some couples freak out and wonder what the hell went wrong and decide to call it quits since the "spark" has gone out of the relationship. The truth is the spark never left, it just tuned into a huge flame, then finally settled down into a warm but constant burn. Not as exciting to watch as a shower of sparks or a large burning flame, but the feeling is still there. Unfortunately not everyone sees it that way, and as such give up or lose faith.
And so, if you and your lucky relationship happens to make it past this honeymoon period and it slowly becomes part of your life, then the ambiguity begins. In this stage, your feelings are tested to see if they are strong enough to continue to maintain a healthy (or somewhat healthy at least) relationship. Good luck to you, if you made it this far! At this point, the only thing that could end this relationship is...anything, really. It could be someone else, it could be somebody gets too busy, it could be somebody really begins to lose the feeling or decide what's the point of going with a relationship anyway...
At this point, you reach the hardest part of any relationship: the legitimate break up. This may include all or some of the following: arguments, false hope, extended silence over the phone or in person, short tempers, more arguments, depression, denial, and finally heart break. Yeah, it sucks. But it's all a part of these crazy things we call relationships. There's almost no avoiding this part (unless you end up getting married, have kids, and grow up old with each other). But hey, it's just a part of life, and though at the time it really sucks, it's something we all have to go through if we do decide to take the gamble of devoting ourselves to another human being. Breaking up is a crappy feeling, it's depressing, it may even make you feel like it's the worst time EVER in your life. But hey, it happens to everyone, and it's just a part of life. All relationships have to go through it at some point in time, and though the feeling sucks, there's not much you can do to avoid it. Time will pass though, you'll learn to live your own life again eventually no matter how hard it may seem (thus the song lyrics: Well, I’ve been afraid of changing ’cause I built my life around you). It takes time, but eventually you'll be able to look back and laugh at how obsessed you used to be. I always use this little snippet: think about how different you were 2 years ago. Big difference huh? Now think about how different you'll be 2 years from now. So much will happen, so much will change, so there's no sense in doting over how shitty things are now. Life will always change.
I've gone over this with many of my other friends who are going through tough times in terms of relationships. Hey, shit happens, na mean? But there are so many larger things in life you could be stressing out about. You may have school, your career, your family, and most importantly yourself. Sometimes you just need to figure out what it is you want in yourself before you try and figure out what you want in someone else.
That all said, I figure it's time I start listening to my own advice.
"Stop being emo and find some damn meaning in your life!"
-SK
11/10/07
at the risk of sounding emo...
How come I end up where I started?
How come I end up where I went wrong?
Won't take my eyes off the ball again
You reel me out then you cut the string
How come I end up where I started?
How come I end up where I went wrong?
I won't take my eyes off the ball again
First you reel me out and then you cut the string
You used to be alright
What happened?
Did the cat get your tongue?
Did your string come undone?
One by one
One by one
It comes to us all
It's as soft as your pillow
You used to be alright
What happened
Et cetera, et cetera
Facts for whatever
Fifteen steps
Then a sheer drop
How come I end up where I started?
How can I end up where I went wrong?
Won't take my eyes off the ball again
You reel me out and you cut the string
radiohead - 15 step
How come I end up where I went wrong?
Won't take my eyes off the ball again
You reel me out then you cut the string
How come I end up where I started?
How come I end up where I went wrong?
I won't take my eyes off the ball again
First you reel me out and then you cut the string
You used to be alright
What happened?
Did the cat get your tongue?
Did your string come undone?
One by one
One by one
It comes to us all
It's as soft as your pillow
You used to be alright
What happened
Et cetera, et cetera
Facts for whatever
Fifteen steps
Then a sheer drop
How come I end up where I started?
How can I end up where I went wrong?
Won't take my eyes off the ball again
You reel me out and you cut the string
radiohead - 15 step
11/1/07
I just received a reality check. it bounced.
Life comes at you fast, huh?
I made that realization today while gracefully cruising at 4 mph on 10 East this morning. As a recently-downloaded-to-my-ipod Kool Moe Dee's "I go to work" blasted through my speakers, aside from thinking that late 80s rap is actually pretty catchy, I began to ponder about what I was getting myself into. Well, I knew what I was getting into, it was an interview with a transportation planning firm. But to look at things more abstractly, I figured this is kind of like taking the first step into what I could be doing for the rest of my life.
Rest of my life? That phrase is scary enough as it is.
The school year up to this point has been...different for me. My involvements with student groups and other traditionally college activities (i.e. random parties, trick or treating in the surrounding neighborhoods) have been at a minimum at best. I convince myself that this is the case because I chose it to be, that I didn't involve myself in student groups or didn't enjoy bruin bash or didn't hiss at that person who wore a USC sweater on campus because I chose to. I somehow convinced myself that I've outgrown these things and that I needed to start thinking about what I would be doing in the future. For the rest of my life.
On the same note, aside from the interviews and the resume building and the research and the year planning and the many hours I spend in work, I've also come to realize something (as was brought up by a friend of mine). We're in college. And more accurately, we're still in college. I mean, when's the next time you'll be able to call your friend at 2:30am and go out to get that early morning/late night snack at that 24 hour tofu place knowing that your friend has to be at work at 7am? Or when's the next time you'll be able to walk around your neighborhood scantily clad in search of a party at some random friend of a friend of a friend of a cousin of a friend's apartment and not be considered a hooker? Or when's the next time you'll be able to down 2 forties, take 12 shots, black out, and wake up the next morning with only pictures and and vomit on the carpet to inform you of your whereabouts and the many regrettable acts that took place the night before, and be able to laugh about it with your friend the next day amidst all the awkwardness that ensues because she's the one you made out with the night before?
So it's reflections like these that really make me wonder whether I'm going about things correctly. Am I trying to grow up too damn quickly? Yeah, I know I need to plan for the future so come next June I'm not sitting on my ass at home spending my free time trying to beat my high score on Wii bowling. At the same time, I know I need to stop, slow down, and try and enjoy the freedom to partake in all the aforementioned activities (and oh so much more) while I still can.
...Well, I technically still can continue to do everything. I just won't be able to get away with it as easily.
"getting my degree has been the worst thing ever"
-LN
I made that realization today while gracefully cruising at 4 mph on 10 East this morning. As a recently-downloaded-to-my-ipod Kool Moe Dee's "I go to work" blasted through my speakers, aside from thinking that late 80s rap is actually pretty catchy, I began to ponder about what I was getting myself into. Well, I knew what I was getting into, it was an interview with a transportation planning firm. But to look at things more abstractly, I figured this is kind of like taking the first step into what I could be doing for the rest of my life.
Rest of my life? That phrase is scary enough as it is.
The school year up to this point has been...different for me. My involvements with student groups and other traditionally college activities (i.e. random parties, trick or treating in the surrounding neighborhoods) have been at a minimum at best. I convince myself that this is the case because I chose it to be, that I didn't involve myself in student groups or didn't enjoy bruin bash or didn't hiss at that person who wore a USC sweater on campus because I chose to. I somehow convinced myself that I've outgrown these things and that I needed to start thinking about what I would be doing in the future. For the rest of my life.
On the same note, aside from the interviews and the resume building and the research and the year planning and the many hours I spend in work, I've also come to realize something (as was brought up by a friend of mine). We're in college. And more accurately, we're still in college. I mean, when's the next time you'll be able to call your friend at 2:30am and go out to get that early morning/late night snack at that 24 hour tofu place knowing that your friend has to be at work at 7am? Or when's the next time you'll be able to walk around your neighborhood scantily clad in search of a party at some random friend of a friend of a friend of a cousin of a friend's apartment and not be considered a hooker? Or when's the next time you'll be able to down 2 forties, take 12 shots, black out, and wake up the next morning with only pictures and and vomit on the carpet to inform you of your whereabouts and the many regrettable acts that took place the night before, and be able to laugh about it with your friend the next day amidst all the awkwardness that ensues because she's the one you made out with the night before?
So it's reflections like these that really make me wonder whether I'm going about things correctly. Am I trying to grow up too damn quickly? Yeah, I know I need to plan for the future so come next June I'm not sitting on my ass at home spending my free time trying to beat my high score on Wii bowling. At the same time, I know I need to stop, slow down, and try and enjoy the freedom to partake in all the aforementioned activities (and oh so much more) while I still can.
...Well, I technically still can continue to do everything. I just won't be able to get away with it as easily.
"getting my degree has been the worst thing ever"
-LN
10/28/07
revamp.
I'd like to take a break from the my relationship rantings to say just this: I am most productive and creative when there are 9 other tasks I should be tending to, i.e. new format here, yet I still have a book to read and a six page paper to write.
I also would like to express my disbelief in that fact that my next door neighbors are playing beer pong at this hour. It's 11am on a Sunday, dammit!
I had so much more to say, but like my sanity, it has escaped me at the moment.
"you better be gettin laid."
-EB
I also would like to express my disbelief in that fact that my next door neighbors are playing beer pong at this hour. It's 11am on a Sunday, dammit!
I had so much more to say, but like my sanity, it has escaped me at the moment.
"you better be gettin laid."
-EB
10/17/07
I'm expecting recoil from this...
last time: let's face the facts
today: what's true about (almost) every woman
part 3: courtship/maintaining that somewhat healthy relationship
part 4: ex's-how to fend off, deal with, or become
---
When I left last time, I concluded that women are confusing creatures that we men fail to understand. Now I'm not going to get into a discussion where we try to figure out why the man doesn't understand his woman, whether it's his fault for giving up on trying to understand because he himself doesn't understand himself or what he's doing wrong, or whether it's her fault for just being too damn confusing to begin with. Either way, I know I'm hardly qualified to to be writing a piece on the behavioral traits of the female, and as such I'm expecting the deserved criticism. So if you feel necessary, comment away.
What's true about (almost) every woman: or...shh, don't let them know we kinda caught on...
Now, I know the following may not be true for all women, and every relationship is different, but thus the semi-universality of this piece.
Women don't know what they want. And I'm not just talking about indecisiveness (though the trait rings true for many). When it comes to relationships, some women may be all like "oh I know exactly what I want in a man, I've got standards, etc etc." and some of those women will actually stick to those standards. I want this, I want that-I hear it all the time.
Now that's one thing women are perfectly sure of: what they want in a person (or what they don't want, sometimes). But when they finally find what they want, or at least something close to it, something clicks in their head, and all of a sudden what they want isn't good enough or there is suddenly a list of reasons why they shouldn't get with the person.
Vary vague case in point: Girl has a healthy relationship going. However, she is unsatisified because although this is a perfectly good relationship, she fails to see the point of staying with him, dumps him. Then a few days later she complains about never being able to find a decent relationship.
But it's a true story nonetheless. And with this same person, the cycle had been repeated multiple times (in the end, she just got back with her ex). Although this is an extreme case, it's not the only time I've seen it happen (the other stories aren't as interesting).
But not knowing what they want can stem in other forms. Case in point:(and she'll probably hate me for citing her), but I was involved in a relationship in which she couldn't figure out whether or not she wanted to be with me. Multiple times she broke up with me for whatever reason (but most of the time, it was because she was in pursuit of someone else). Okay, so it's pretty clear she doesn't want to be with me, right? Well that's funny, cause as soon as I begin to pursue someone else, suddenly she wants to be with me again. Hm. So did she want to be with me or not? She didn't even know.
The above is also a case of territorialism, another common trait of many women. Okay, so it's true for guys too, but the mentality of most guys when someone else enters their former (or current) significant others is "oh, I guess she's moved on. me now go sad and emo." But that's not necessarily the case with women. The moment someone else enters the life of a former man, then girls suddenly want to be with them even moreso than before. Suddenly, there's a desire to not allow the other girl (though 'that bitch' is the more common terminality) to 'win.' Shit talking commences, the hating begins, and all the blame goes towards 'that bitch.' It never does occur to the woman though, that she did break up with the guy to begin with, so maybe it's her fault he moved on? And on the flipside, it never occurs to blame the guy on the awful decision he made on choosing 'that bitch.'
Cases in point: girl breaks up with guy because relationship is in rut. No attempts are made to get back with the guy until he begins to talk to another girl. Girl is driven crazy, making statements such as "it's ok as long as he's happy...that girl is a bitch...it's fine as long as it's anyone but her..." ...and so on and so forth....case two: girl breaks up with guy, she moves on, finds another man, but at the very point he finds someone else: "oh, I'm so hurt..."
Okay, once again, extreme cases, but real life cases nonetheless.
Maybe all my interactions happen to be with the same kinds of women. Maybe my bias is playing into this because of my personal experiences. And I know I haven't touched on everything and there's so much more that needs to be written.
But regardless, I've run into these situations way too many times to discount them as outliers.
Next time: How to land the woman (or women) of your dreams, and how to keep her from landing back into your dreams
"you are full of wisdom =)"
-TC
today: what's true about (almost) every woman
part 3: courtship/maintaining that somewhat healthy relationship
part 4: ex's-how to fend off, deal with, or become
---
When I left last time, I concluded that women are confusing creatures that we men fail to understand. Now I'm not going to get into a discussion where we try to figure out why the man doesn't understand his woman, whether it's his fault for giving up on trying to understand because he himself doesn't understand himself or what he's doing wrong, or whether it's her fault for just being too damn confusing to begin with. Either way, I know I'm hardly qualified to to be writing a piece on the behavioral traits of the female, and as such I'm expecting the deserved criticism. So if you feel necessary, comment away.
What's true about (almost) every woman: or...shh, don't let them know we kinda caught on...
Now, I know the following may not be true for all women, and every relationship is different, but thus the semi-universality of this piece.
Women don't know what they want. And I'm not just talking about indecisiveness (though the trait rings true for many). When it comes to relationships, some women may be all like "oh I know exactly what I want in a man, I've got standards, etc etc." and some of those women will actually stick to those standards. I want this, I want that-I hear it all the time.
Now that's one thing women are perfectly sure of: what they want in a person (or what they don't want, sometimes). But when they finally find what they want, or at least something close to it, something clicks in their head, and all of a sudden what they want isn't good enough or there is suddenly a list of reasons why they shouldn't get with the person.
Vary vague case in point: Girl has a healthy relationship going. However, she is unsatisified because although this is a perfectly good relationship, she fails to see the point of staying with him, dumps him. Then a few days later she complains about never being able to find a decent relationship.
But it's a true story nonetheless. And with this same person, the cycle had been repeated multiple times (in the end, she just got back with her ex). Although this is an extreme case, it's not the only time I've seen it happen (the other stories aren't as interesting).
But not knowing what they want can stem in other forms. Case in point:(and she'll probably hate me for citing her), but I was involved in a relationship in which she couldn't figure out whether or not she wanted to be with me. Multiple times she broke up with me for whatever reason (but most of the time, it was because she was in pursuit of someone else). Okay, so it's pretty clear she doesn't want to be with me, right? Well that's funny, cause as soon as I begin to pursue someone else, suddenly she wants to be with me again. Hm. So did she want to be with me or not? She didn't even know.
The above is also a case of territorialism, another common trait of many women. Okay, so it's true for guys too, but the mentality of most guys when someone else enters their former (or current) significant others is "oh, I guess she's moved on. me now go sad and emo." But that's not necessarily the case with women. The moment someone else enters the life of a former man, then girls suddenly want to be with them even moreso than before. Suddenly, there's a desire to not allow the other girl (though 'that bitch' is the more common terminality) to 'win.' Shit talking commences, the hating begins, and all the blame goes towards 'that bitch.' It never does occur to the woman though, that she did break up with the guy to begin with, so maybe it's her fault he moved on? And on the flipside, it never occurs to blame the guy on the awful decision he made on choosing 'that bitch.'
Cases in point: girl breaks up with guy because relationship is in rut. No attempts are made to get back with the guy until he begins to talk to another girl. Girl is driven crazy, making statements such as "it's ok as long as he's happy...that girl is a bitch...it's fine as long as it's anyone but her..." ...and so on and so forth....case two: girl breaks up with guy, she moves on, finds another man, but at the very point he finds someone else: "oh, I'm so hurt..."
Okay, once again, extreme cases, but real life cases nonetheless.
Maybe all my interactions happen to be with the same kinds of women. Maybe my bias is playing into this because of my personal experiences. And I know I haven't touched on everything and there's so much more that needs to be written.
But regardless, I've run into these situations way too many times to discount them as outliers.
Next time: How to land the woman (or women) of your dreams, and how to keep her from landing back into your dreams
"you are full of wisdom =)"
-TC
10/10/07
because you don't want to end up "solo"
I've always believed that someday I could write a relationship column or article or whatever someday. I mean, I've read enough Cosmo articles and MSN relationship articles online to get an idea of what "works" and what doesn't. I don't want to sound cocky, but I'll say the relationships I have been in have given me experience with so many very different kinds of people. And believe me, I hear alot about others and their relationships.
And that above being my vague credentials, here I'm beginning part one of my four part series: "The Semi-Universal Guide: How to not end up solo."
---
It's a complicated process, these things called relationships. It's amazing the extents to which us guys will go to please "man's better half." There are so many lengths we all go through to impress the woman (or for some, the women) of our dreams. Believe or not, ladies, but we obsess about relationships and the opposite sex just as much as you do. Even when it is the most irrational thing we could ever do, we will always try to do what we can to get what we want when it comes to the opposite sex. It's dangerous. My friend once told me that he was told as a young child that the only thing that could ever bring him down would be a female.
Yes, us men are the epitome of devotion and persistence when it comes to women. The only trouble is that we don't understand why. We don't understand why because we don't understand you.
Ok let's face it guys. Women are confusing creatures. Think about your last few run-ins with a female you liked or were with. Tell me there wasn't at least one time where you thought "what the fuck?" There's a fairly general consensus that men don't understand women. We don't know why they get mad, why they get sad, what we do that's so wrong, why they say some of the things they say, why they won't call us, why they do call us, why they don't like us, why they do like us, why they don't understand why we get confused when they get mad and we don't understand why...and etc.
The idea that men don't understand is a trite and well-known fact. It's scientifically proven. And chances are, alot of us men already have learned that fact the hard way. But with everything and everyone I've run into, I must say that there are a few traits of women that are consistent. But that's for my next column.
Next time: What's true about (almost) every woman
"I thought by this time we would be having rampaging sex."
-BM
And that above being my vague credentials, here I'm beginning part one of my four part series: "The Semi-Universal Guide: How to not end up solo."
---
It's a complicated process, these things called relationships. It's amazing the extents to which us guys will go to please "man's better half." There are so many lengths we all go through to impress the woman (or for some, the women) of our dreams. Believe or not, ladies, but we obsess about relationships and the opposite sex just as much as you do. Even when it is the most irrational thing we could ever do, we will always try to do what we can to get what we want when it comes to the opposite sex. It's dangerous. My friend once told me that he was told as a young child that the only thing that could ever bring him down would be a female.
Yes, us men are the epitome of devotion and persistence when it comes to women. The only trouble is that we don't understand why. We don't understand why because we don't understand you.
Ok let's face it guys. Women are confusing creatures. Think about your last few run-ins with a female you liked or were with. Tell me there wasn't at least one time where you thought "what the fuck?" There's a fairly general consensus that men don't understand women. We don't know why they get mad, why they get sad, what we do that's so wrong, why they say some of the things they say, why they won't call us, why they do call us, why they don't like us, why they do like us, why they don't understand why we get confused when they get mad and we don't understand why...and etc.
The idea that men don't understand is a trite and well-known fact. It's scientifically proven. And chances are, alot of us men already have learned that fact the hard way. But with everything and everyone I've run into, I must say that there are a few traits of women that are consistent. But that's for my next column.
Next time: What's true about (almost) every woman
"I thought by this time we would be having rampaging sex."
-BM
10/3/07
you've gotta be kidding me
To avoid having to pay the extra $.25 for laundry (and the fact that 3 washing machines for the whole building just isn't enough), my friends and I have a laundry ritual that involves dragging (or driving, really) all of our dirty clothes and washing them in the dorms. I mean, with laundromat-like facilities and a washing machine price that's a whole $.25 less than our machines, it's just more convenient.
Anyways, we underwent one of these laundry rituals the other day. Everything seemed normal, we had some unsuspecting student open the doors for us to the building and later into the laundry room, we put our laundry in, and basically chilled there for the complete 106 minutes that comprised the washing machine and drying time.
(Get to the punch line!)
Yeah, ok. So, this kid enters the room, walks up to one of the washers and dryers (they're a single unit with the dryers on top), and opens both doors of the machine. After a second of speculation, the kid looks up at us and asks us "so what do I do now?" A little shocked at first, we hesitated to answer, and confirmed that he wanted to dry the clothes that had just finished the wash cycle. We explained to him that he had to put the clothes in the dryer. So he did so. His next question shocked us even more: he asked if he should close the door to the dryer. We were of course friendly and understanding about the whole situation, and naturally assumed he was a a freshman learning to do laundry on his own for the very first time. We then asked him to confirm that. but the answer was even more shocking: he was actually a second year.
Let me warn you that from this point on, it gets worse.
Um, ok, so how did he do laundry all his first year? He told us his mom comes over every couple of weeks to do his laundry. Not only that, his mom lives two hours away. TWO HOURS. He told us he thinks it helps keep their relationship together or something.
SERIOUSLY?
I dunno. I think cases like that just epitomizes all the stereotypes that college students (regardless of book smarts) are still helpless little children whose parents baby them and who are incapable of taking care of themselves on their own. I mean, I've run into extreme cases before (I heard once of a student calling their landlord once so he would change the lightbulb for them), but this is up there. If it's one thing I've learned, it's that alot of students are smart, but they're not intelligent. They're learned, but they're not bright. Well, most of them aren't anyway. Now, I may not be smart enough to be at the top of my class or to have intelligent conversations about global economics in a post 9/11 world, but I'm glad I've got some common sense in me.
Parents, teach your kids to take care of themselves. Teach them how to do laundry, teach them how to change light bulbs, teach them that they should shower daily or at least enough so their roommates won't put a petri dish in their bed to attract fungus for their microbiology class(and successfully grow said fungus).
"Kids, if you really wanna piss off your parents, buy real estate in an imaginary place."
-Imaginary Places - Busdriver
Anyways, we underwent one of these laundry rituals the other day. Everything seemed normal, we had some unsuspecting student open the doors for us to the building and later into the laundry room, we put our laundry in, and basically chilled there for the complete 106 minutes that comprised the washing machine and drying time.
(Get to the punch line!)
Yeah, ok. So, this kid enters the room, walks up to one of the washers and dryers (they're a single unit with the dryers on top), and opens both doors of the machine. After a second of speculation, the kid looks up at us and asks us "so what do I do now?" A little shocked at first, we hesitated to answer, and confirmed that he wanted to dry the clothes that had just finished the wash cycle. We explained to him that he had to put the clothes in the dryer. So he did so. His next question shocked us even more: he asked if he should close the door to the dryer. We were of course friendly and understanding about the whole situation, and naturally assumed he was a a freshman learning to do laundry on his own for the very first time. We then asked him to confirm that. but the answer was even more shocking: he was actually a second year.
Let me warn you that from this point on, it gets worse.
Um, ok, so how did he do laundry all his first year? He told us his mom comes over every couple of weeks to do his laundry. Not only that, his mom lives two hours away. TWO HOURS. He told us he thinks it helps keep their relationship together or something.
SERIOUSLY?
I dunno. I think cases like that just epitomizes all the stereotypes that college students (regardless of book smarts) are still helpless little children whose parents baby them and who are incapable of taking care of themselves on their own. I mean, I've run into extreme cases before (I heard once of a student calling their landlord once so he would change the lightbulb for them), but this is up there. If it's one thing I've learned, it's that alot of students are smart, but they're not intelligent. They're learned, but they're not bright. Well, most of them aren't anyway. Now, I may not be smart enough to be at the top of my class or to have intelligent conversations about global economics in a post 9/11 world, but I'm glad I've got some common sense in me.
Parents, teach your kids to take care of themselves. Teach them how to do laundry, teach them how to change light bulbs, teach them that they should shower daily or at least enough so their roommates won't put a petri dish in their bed to attract fungus for their microbiology class(and successfully grow said fungus).
"Kids, if you really wanna piss off your parents, buy real estate in an imaginary place."
-Imaginary Places - Busdriver
9/28/07
let's not get all dramatic now...
first day of school today (or yesterday, technically). as I emerged from my apartment and strolled along what would be my commute to class everyday, I had a realization: holy shit this is the first day of class of my last year in college. it's kinda strange when I think about it. I remember the first day of class of my first year in college (I managed to fall asleep in class already). ah that's the first and last time I take a course in astrophysics.
but aside from that reflection, I ran into an interesting (or should I say predictable) debacle in class today. so I'm enrolled in Tagalog, right? but I was one of those unfortunate souls who happened to be on the waitlist (I've made it from 11 to 9, bitches!) however, the problem is that the class was capped and thus...us unfortunate 14 were not able to take the class. so we did what any good Filipino would do (after the proper incitement from our professors): bitch and complain about what we want and how it's sOo unfair because we're brown. "it's your ball game...it's your chance to tell people how we feel...because you have a right to take a Filipino-Tagalog class if you want to...is it because of racism?"
so that all said and with the right people pissed off (some of them went so far as to "call their mamas" to give the dean some lip), the waitlisted 14 convened outside the classroom and drafted a letter explaining our woes and what we wanted, which essentially was another section for our class. we got the letter signed by everyone in the class, typed it, printed it, and marched on over to the dean's office. as expected, we were stopped by the secretary, directed towards some other guy's office, and were redirected once again. at that point it had already been 2 hours and people had to go to other classes or whatever they were up to.
my conclusion? activism leads to...not much. let's be mature about this: it ain't personal so don't try and make it that way. we only lose credibility.
"it is in the nature of us Filipinos to complain to get what we want. that is the only way to make change."
-Prof. Andersson
...and that's why the country is in constant turmoil.
but aside from that reflection, I ran into an interesting (or should I say predictable) debacle in class today. so I'm enrolled in Tagalog, right? but I was one of those unfortunate souls who happened to be on the waitlist (I've made it from 11 to 9, bitches!) however, the problem is that the class was capped and thus...us unfortunate 14 were not able to take the class. so we did what any good Filipino would do (after the proper incitement from our professors): bitch and complain about what we want and how it's sOo unfair because we're brown. "it's your ball game...it's your chance to tell people how we feel...because you have a right to take a Filipino-Tagalog class if you want to...is it because of racism?"
so that all said and with the right people pissed off (some of them went so far as to "call their mamas" to give the dean some lip), the waitlisted 14 convened outside the classroom and drafted a letter explaining our woes and what we wanted, which essentially was another section for our class. we got the letter signed by everyone in the class, typed it, printed it, and marched on over to the dean's office. as expected, we were stopped by the secretary, directed towards some other guy's office, and were redirected once again. at that point it had already been 2 hours and people had to go to other classes or whatever they were up to.
my conclusion? activism leads to...not much. let's be mature about this: it ain't personal so don't try and make it that way. we only lose credibility.
"it is in the nature of us Filipinos to complain to get what we want. that is the only way to make change."
-Prof. Andersson
...and that's why the country is in constant turmoil.
9/24/07
life lessons, learned and re-learned
Today/tonight defintely was a re/learning experience for me. Alot of things I'd already known or learned the hard way before had to be reiterated to me tonight, and the thing that pisses me off is that I knew all this before! Yet I still continue to do these things...
lesson: rap concerts never turn out well.
And especially those rap artists who are mainstream and whose lyrics in certain songs consist mainly of "why you wanna go and do that huh?" For example: went to go see T.I. tonight. I know of maybe, 3 or 4 songs of his, though he is a mainstream rap artist. I've learned this lesson before, with Talib Kweli, Living Legends, Lupe Fiasco (though Common gave a pretty good show): many hip-hop songs just sound better on recording. Don't get me wrong, I love the music...most of it just doesn't sound good live. Besides, I'm not even that great of a fan of T.I. anyway.
lesson: I've outgrown the whole random party thing.
Hell, I think I've even learned this summer that I might be outgrowing the whole party thing really. But there was just something tonight that clicked in me (again) that made me realize that I probably shouldn't go out to the parties of people I don't know. Went out to some party at the "Love Boat" with some of Rene's A-Phi-O friends. The lights were dimmed, the room was crowded, the place was muggy. Music blaring out of those creature speakers, people gathered together to pour shots, get together to take a picture with the shot, and take the shot accordingly. Following was a few seconds of silence while the shot was digested, and almost immediately the group of people reconvenes again behind a digital camera for yet another picture. Seems like something that would be fun amongst people you know, but I've realized that I'm just not that into college parties anymore, especially the ones that your roommates bring you to. Arrival time: 12:38am. Departure time: 12:46am.
lesson: I don't care what you say, Budweiser is shit.
Especially warm Budweiser.
lesson: there is such thing as too much time with someone.
let's not get into that.
lesson: don't buy anything for the home unless you are completely sure that it actually fits
I should've taken the measurement first before I spent $5.99 at Target for that stupid towel rack.
lesson: one glass of red wine a day is good for you
It also makes a good night cap. I've almost forgotten the good buzz it leaves you with too.
lesson: good TV after 2am is hard to come by nowadays.
And yet I'm still watching.
"I applied for a job at the mental hospital today. They said I need 24 hours experience with a retard. So uh...do u want 2 hang out?"
-RM
lesson: rap concerts never turn out well.
And especially those rap artists who are mainstream and whose lyrics in certain songs consist mainly of "why you wanna go and do that huh?" For example: went to go see T.I. tonight. I know of maybe, 3 or 4 songs of his, though he is a mainstream rap artist. I've learned this lesson before, with Talib Kweli, Living Legends, Lupe Fiasco (though Common gave a pretty good show): many hip-hop songs just sound better on recording. Don't get me wrong, I love the music...most of it just doesn't sound good live. Besides, I'm not even that great of a fan of T.I. anyway.
lesson: I've outgrown the whole random party thing.
Hell, I think I've even learned this summer that I might be outgrowing the whole party thing really. But there was just something tonight that clicked in me (again) that made me realize that I probably shouldn't go out to the parties of people I don't know. Went out to some party at the "Love Boat" with some of Rene's A-Phi-O friends. The lights were dimmed, the room was crowded, the place was muggy. Music blaring out of those creature speakers, people gathered together to pour shots, get together to take a picture with the shot, and take the shot accordingly. Following was a few seconds of silence while the shot was digested, and almost immediately the group of people reconvenes again behind a digital camera for yet another picture. Seems like something that would be fun amongst people you know, but I've realized that I'm just not that into college parties anymore, especially the ones that your roommates bring you to. Arrival time: 12:38am. Departure time: 12:46am.
lesson: I don't care what you say, Budweiser is shit.
Especially warm Budweiser.
lesson: there is such thing as too much time with someone.
let's not get into that.
lesson: don't buy anything for the home unless you are completely sure that it actually fits
I should've taken the measurement first before I spent $5.99 at Target for that stupid towel rack.
lesson: one glass of red wine a day is good for you
It also makes a good night cap. I've almost forgotten the good buzz it leaves you with too.
lesson: good TV after 2am is hard to come by nowadays.
And yet I'm still watching.
"I applied for a job at the mental hospital today. They said I need 24 hours experience with a retard. So uh...do u want 2 hang out?"
-RM
9/23/07
temporary retirement
...or, unemployment, to put it more bluntly.
It's been over a week since my last day at the job that defined much of my life the past couple of years. I can't imagine too many things I have involved myself in that wasn't connected in some way, shape or form in this thing called access control. I remember how I was first intrigued by the job, how I had known few people who were in it, how I applied, was 20 minutes late for the interview, and how I finally met the faces I recognized behind those tall green desks and black machines. Little did I know how much this job which required me to be a professional piece of nighttime decorative furniture would affect me.
And though I can thank this job for many of the friends I've made, many of the parties I've attended/hosted, many of the hours of sleep I've lost, much of my love life and most of the times I've blacked out, I can't help but wonder why I was able to just give it up so easily this year. It was a fun and memorable experience, and I'll probably be talking about it for years on out, but I guess this is just an indication that I've decided to move on and "grow up," cause as I've always said, there's so much more we could be doing in the 8 hours we sit in these chairs and slide identification cards through a machine.
But I've been wondering lately, "what else could I be doing?" as I sit at my desk at night reading through the anonymous confessions of people through homemade postcards. Naw, I can't say I regret leaving this job. I don't miss the hours and I don't miss the residents. I will miss the people though. It was a tough job, and after those long nights we would come out of it better friends cause we survived through that 8 hour long "battle" (as Alan put it) together. Yeah, I'll miss that. But it's time to move on, it's time to get back to sleep.
And besides, as long as the facebook invites keep coming, I'm happy.
"Rieber 1 to OCH Dispatch, I'll be signing off my radio for the year. If you need to reach me, you can do so via facebook, email, or landline. Thank you and have a good night. I have officially stopped caring."
-Solo's last radio call
It's been over a week since my last day at the job that defined much of my life the past couple of years. I can't imagine too many things I have involved myself in that wasn't connected in some way, shape or form in this thing called access control. I remember how I was first intrigued by the job, how I had known few people who were in it, how I applied, was 20 minutes late for the interview, and how I finally met the faces I recognized behind those tall green desks and black machines. Little did I know how much this job which required me to be a professional piece of nighttime decorative furniture would affect me.
And though I can thank this job for many of the friends I've made, many of the parties I've attended/hosted, many of the hours of sleep I've lost, much of my love life and most of the times I've blacked out, I can't help but wonder why I was able to just give it up so easily this year. It was a fun and memorable experience, and I'll probably be talking about it for years on out, but I guess this is just an indication that I've decided to move on and "grow up," cause as I've always said, there's so much more we could be doing in the 8 hours we sit in these chairs and slide identification cards through a machine.
But I've been wondering lately, "what else could I be doing?" as I sit at my desk at night reading through the anonymous confessions of people through homemade postcards. Naw, I can't say I regret leaving this job. I don't miss the hours and I don't miss the residents. I will miss the people though. It was a tough job, and after those long nights we would come out of it better friends cause we survived through that 8 hour long "battle" (as Alan put it) together. Yeah, I'll miss that. But it's time to move on, it's time to get back to sleep.
And besides, as long as the facebook invites keep coming, I'm happy.
"Rieber 1 to OCH Dispatch, I'll be signing off my radio for the year. If you need to reach me, you can do so via facebook, email, or landline. Thank you and have a good night. I have officially stopped caring."
-Solo's last radio call
9/17/07
forgot to click "publish post."
Upon looking at my computer's clock one day recently, I made a slightly horrifying realization: Wow. It is the middle of September. It is thus nearly the end of the summer. Reflecting on this fact, I thought about everything that had happened in these past three months, all the highs and the lows, the fun times and the downright emotional times, the times when I felt that this summer would never end and the times I felt that everything was just happening so suddenly.
It's been an interesting summer, and it's sometimes hard to believe how much things have changed since that day I lugged a carload of my belongings down four stories with no elevator (today the situation is practically the same...though now I'm lugging a carload of my belongings up two stories with an elevator using only a grocery cart). Yes, those were different times and I was different then. It feels like only yesterday, while at the same time the situation seems so foreign to me.
How and why did so much change over the course of these past three months? It's only a short while, but the amount of detail I could into could have me writing for days.
But it's not to say that it was a bad summer. It's been enjoyable at best, yet there are some regrettable things that happened as well. I will admit, I have done things this summer that I am not entirely proud of at all, and well if I could, I would change what I did. But alas, my only justification is that I was a truly different person back then, and at the time I was going through a sort of phase, I guess. But aside from that I must say that this probably has been one of my more eventful summers (though it still comes short of last year). I've traveled, I've partied, I've visited family, I've made new friends, I've made a little money on the side, I made it on national
television in polka dot pajama pants, I've made my brain more susceptible to seizures and rotting on account of hours upon hours of watching a screen filled with colorful dots and lines. It's been interesting. It's been fun.
Aside from all this, I still can't help but wonder that I've gained nothing this summer. People I know had internships, studied abroad, or other various exciting activities. I mean, I worked two jobs, spent all my time at work, lost most of my day to sleep, and my free time was spent analyzing passages such as "Faith is just this paradox, that the single individual as the particular is higher than the universal, is justified before the latter, not as subordinate but superior, though in such a way, be it noted, that it is the single individual who, having been subordinate to the universal as the particular, now by means of the universal becomes that individual who, as the particular, stands in an absolute relation to the absolute."
Did you catch that?
I mean, I feel like I would've accomplished more had I not worked as much and sat on my ass all day. At the very least, my brain and my body would have had a break. Now it's already the end of summer and all I'm really feeling is a sense of burnout. Fall quarter is nothing to look forward to either, with school just waiting to take me out for another horrendous spin. It's just a scary feeling knowing that this truly is the beginning of the end of this parable we call our college careers.(and for the record, yes I reserve the right to relate our college careers to parables as there are many lessons learned along the way).
Look, I'm even too burned out to continue writing.
"I don't get it, Mark. You're not that great."
-LT
It's been an interesting summer, and it's sometimes hard to believe how much things have changed since that day I lugged a carload of my belongings down four stories with no elevator (today the situation is practically the same...though now I'm lugging a carload of my belongings up two stories with an elevator using only a grocery cart). Yes, those were different times and I was different then. It feels like only yesterday, while at the same time the situation seems so foreign to me.
How and why did so much change over the course of these past three months? It's only a short while, but the amount of detail I could into could have me writing for days.
But it's not to say that it was a bad summer. It's been enjoyable at best, yet there are some regrettable things that happened as well. I will admit, I have done things this summer that I am not entirely proud of at all, and well if I could, I would change what I did. But alas, my only justification is that I was a truly different person back then, and at the time I was going through a sort of phase, I guess. But aside from that I must say that this probably has been one of my more eventful summers (though it still comes short of last year). I've traveled, I've partied, I've visited family, I've made new friends, I've made a little money on the side, I made it on national
television in polka dot pajama pants, I've made my brain more susceptible to seizures and rotting on account of hours upon hours of watching a screen filled with colorful dots and lines. It's been interesting. It's been fun.
Aside from all this, I still can't help but wonder that I've gained nothing this summer. People I know had internships, studied abroad, or other various exciting activities. I mean, I worked two jobs, spent all my time at work, lost most of my day to sleep, and my free time was spent analyzing passages such as "Faith is just this paradox, that the single individual as the particular is higher than the universal, is justified before the latter, not as subordinate but superior, though in such a way, be it noted, that it is the single individual who, having been subordinate to the universal as the particular, now by means of the universal becomes that individual who, as the particular, stands in an absolute relation to the absolute."
Did you catch that?
I mean, I feel like I would've accomplished more had I not worked as much and sat on my ass all day. At the very least, my brain and my body would have had a break. Now it's already the end of summer and all I'm really feeling is a sense of burnout. Fall quarter is nothing to look forward to either, with school just waiting to take me out for another horrendous spin. It's just a scary feeling knowing that this truly is the beginning of the end of this parable we call our college careers.(and for the record, yes I reserve the right to relate our college careers to parables as there are many lessons learned along the way).
Look, I'm even too burned out to continue writing.
"I don't get it, Mark. You're not that great."
-LT
9/3/07
siks.
6.
Put that number 3 times in a row and you've got something evil going on.
That's twice the number of days Jesus spent in his tomb.
According to Wikipedia, 6 (six) is the natural number following 5 and preceding 7. Six is the second smallest composite number, its proper divisors being 1, 2 and 3. Since six equals the sum of these proper divisors, six is a perfect number.
A perfect number, eh? Guess 6th time is a charm...
That is the amount of online journals, blogs, whatever you wanna call them that I have started and unsuccessfully kept. The length of the blogs range from as long as a year and two months to a mere 55 minutes. The websites on which these blogs existed range from diaryland to xanga to blogspot. Needless to say, my attempts to start online journals have been inconsistent and flaky at best. I tend to lose interest in writing in these things after a while, since seemingly I only write when I'm feeling emotional. But I guess this is a trend I can break this time around, possibly. I say this every time, but will this one stand the test of time and my ultimate un-desire to write? I always answer the same way too: m'eh.
But why now? Why should I decide now to provide a place for others to be able to read into the depths of my life? Following the crowd? Or am I just feeling a sudden urge to vent again? Should I write about my day/week/month here? Or should I save this for my commentary on life in general? Hell, I dunno. First thing I've gotta worry about is making sure I actually continue to write in this thing anyway. That said...
Put that number 3 times in a row and you've got something evil going on.
That's twice the number of days Jesus spent in his tomb.
According to Wikipedia, 6 (six) is the natural number following 5 and preceding 7. Six is the second smallest composite number, its proper divisors being 1, 2 and 3. Since six equals the sum of these proper divisors, six is a perfect number.
A perfect number, eh? Guess 6th time is a charm...
That is the amount of online journals, blogs, whatever you wanna call them that I have started and unsuccessfully kept. The length of the blogs range from as long as a year and two months to a mere 55 minutes. The websites on which these blogs existed range from diaryland to xanga to blogspot. Needless to say, my attempts to start online journals have been inconsistent and flaky at best. I tend to lose interest in writing in these things after a while, since seemingly I only write when I'm feeling emotional. But I guess this is a trend I can break this time around, possibly. I say this every time, but will this one stand the test of time and my ultimate un-desire to write? I always answer the same way too: m'eh.
But why now? Why should I decide now to provide a place for others to be able to read into the depths of my life? Following the crowd? Or am I just feeling a sudden urge to vent again? Should I write about my day/week/month here? Or should I save this for my commentary on life in general? Hell, I dunno. First thing I've gotta worry about is making sure I actually continue to write in this thing anyway. That said...
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