when all else fails

Time: 10:30am
Location: Work (OCH Dispatch/Covel Front Desk)

So this guy comes up to the desk, seems to be wearing what appears to be tux. He looks likes he needs to be at some sort of fancy event, though he’s holding his pants up and asks for a safety pin. From observation, it looks as if the button keeping his pants together has fallen off. I tell him that we don’t have any up here, sorry, and I suggest he head over to Hilltop (the student store here in the dorms), and ask for them there. “Shit,” he says, seemingly flustered.
A few minutes later, he comes back, still clutching his pants together. “No luck?” I ask him. Even more frustrated than before, he tells me “Nope. They told me they didn’t have any. If I was a pretty girl it might have been a different story.” Letting off a small and sarcastic chuckle, he adds “Do you happen to have a stapler I can use?”
Man, this guy was getting desperate. I proceed to hand him the stapler, which point he begins stapling his pants. I felt sorry for the guy, so I actually genuinely began looking for safety pins, paper clips, anything. Click, click, click goes the stapler. “Ah ha! A little luck there,” he exclaims after a few minutes. “Do you have any tape?”
Hot damn. Well, the man had a plan, no matter how desperate. “Man, this shit always happens when you least suspect it,” he begins, hands alternating from the tape, the stapler, and his pants. “You know Mr. Murphy always pops up when you don’t want him to.”
Yeah I know what you’re thinking. I was thinking the same thing, this coming from a man with his hands down his pants.
“Murphy’s Law is what I mean, of course,” he continues.
“Yup,” I respond. “Everything can and will go wrong at some point.”
After a few more minutes of stapling, taping, and his grumbling, he gives up, and in a frustrated sigh goes, “This ain’t working. Thanks for your help though.” He begins rolling up his crotch staples and tape. “What was your name again?”
“Well thanks Mark, you’ve been awesome.”
While the image of a grown man with a stapler at his crotch seems comical, I must ask you, what would you do in this situation? This guy had a problem, and he was resourceful. And though I wanted to break out in laughter with each passing click of the stapler, I had to feel sorry for the dude.

"Don't stress out. You are going to die anyway."


If I were a radio DJ pt.1...

...the theme would be music you can just "chill" to (I'll think of a better title later) Music stylings would center around a smooth, almost trance-y feel, laid back on the percussion and heavy on the obscure jazz and funk sampling, yet not too experimental. Hip-hop plays a major role in the playlists, though there are enough genre changes to keep open ears interested.

Theme/Opening Song: Souls of Mischief-93 til' Infinity
My Dedication (to you know who, and just so you know): Jim Croce-Time in a Bottle

and the 1st set would be:

Nujabes - Luv Sic
Robin Thicke - Complicated
Radiohead - Weird Fishes/Arpeggi
Wyclef Jean - Sweetest Girl (Remix)
Blue Man Group - Shadows Part 2
Royskopp - Remind Me
Cut Chemist - Freaky Flow
Medeski Martin and Wood - Last Chance to Dance Trances
Asheru - Mood Swing
Nujabes - Still Talking to You
Pharcyde - Passing Me By
Carl Thomas - Wish
Crown City Rockers - No Sense
Tribe Called Quest - Can I Kick It
Nujabes - Beyond
Trinah - Follow You
The Pacifics - Set It
Blue Man Group - Shadows
Michael McDonald - I Keep Forgetting
Musiq - Half Crazy
Common - The Corner
Radiohead - 2 and 2 = 5
Crown City Rockers - Without Love
Nujabes - F.I.L.O.
Maxwell - Softly
Cut Chemist - The Garden
Radiohead - 15 Step
Santana - El Farol
Pharcyde - Runnin'
Crown City Rockers - 10:53
Zion I - Bird's Eye View
Maxwell - Submerge: Til We Become the Sun
Keane - Sunshine
AmpLife - Weird Fishez
Blackstar - Respiration
Nujabes - Still Talking to You
Radiohead - How To Disappear Completely
dJ tAnK - Sgt. Rigby's Lonely Heart Club Band (Reprise)
The Shins - Sleeping Lessons
Robin Thicke - Teach U A Lesson
Common - I Want You
Nujabes - Lady Brown
Blue Man Group - Piano Smasher
Radiohead - Talk Show Host
Black Star - Thieves in the Night
Musiq ft. The Roots - Break You Off
Crown City Rockers - D Minor Nine

"...then out of nowhere, she just goes 'the black eyed peas are hip hop royalty.' fuck the black eyed peas."