last time: let's face the facts
today: what's true about (almost) every woman
part 3: courtship/maintaining that somewhat healthy relationship
part 4: ex's-how to fend off, deal with, or become
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When I left last time, I concluded that women are confusing creatures that we men fail to understand. Now I'm not going to get into a discussion where we try to figure out why the man doesn't understand his woman, whether it's his fault for giving up on trying to understand because he himself doesn't understand himself or what he's doing wrong, or whether it's her fault for just being too damn confusing to begin with. Either way, I know I'm hardly qualified to to be writing a piece on the behavioral traits of the female, and as such I'm expecting the deserved criticism. So if you feel necessary, comment away.
What's true about (almost) every woman: or...shh, don't let them know we kinda caught on...
Now, I know the following may not be true for all women, and every relationship is different, but thus the semi-universality of this piece.
Women don't know what they want. And I'm not just talking about indecisiveness (though the trait rings true for many). When it comes to relationships, some women may be all like "oh I know exactly what I want in a man, I've got standards, etc etc." and some of those women will actually stick to those standards. I want this, I want that-I hear it all the time.
Now that's one thing women are perfectly sure of: what they want in a person (or what they don't want, sometimes). But when they finally find what they want, or at least something close to it, something clicks in their head, and all of a sudden what they want isn't good enough or there is suddenly a list of reasons why they shouldn't get with the person.
Vary vague case in point: Girl has a healthy relationship going. However, she is unsatisified because although this is a perfectly good relationship, she fails to see the point of staying with him, dumps him. Then a few days later she complains about never being able to find a decent relationship.
But it's a true story nonetheless. And with this same person, the cycle had been repeated multiple times (in the end, she just got back with her ex). Although this is an extreme case, it's not the only time I've seen it happen (the other stories aren't as interesting).
But not knowing what they want can stem in other forms. Case in point:(and she'll probably hate me for citing her), but I was involved in a relationship in which she couldn't figure out whether or not she wanted to be with me. Multiple times she broke up with me for whatever reason (but most of the time, it was because she was in pursuit of someone else). Okay, so it's pretty clear she doesn't want to be with me, right? Well that's funny, cause as soon as I begin to pursue someone else, suddenly she wants to be with me again. Hm. So did she want to be with me or not? She didn't even know.
The above is also a case of territorialism, another common trait of many women. Okay, so it's true for guys too, but the mentality of most guys when someone else enters their former (or current) significant others is "oh, I guess she's moved on. me now go sad and emo." But that's not necessarily the case with women. The moment someone else enters the life of a former man, then girls suddenly want to be with them even moreso than before. Suddenly, there's a desire to not allow the other girl (though 'that bitch' is the more common terminality) to 'win.' Shit talking commences, the hating begins, and all the blame goes towards 'that bitch.' It never does occur to the woman though, that she did break up with the guy to begin with, so maybe it's her fault he moved on? And on the flipside, it never occurs to blame the guy on the awful decision he made on choosing 'that bitch.'
Cases in point: girl breaks up with guy because relationship is in rut. No attempts are made to get back with the guy until he begins to talk to another girl. Girl is driven crazy, making statements such as "it's ok as long as he's happy...that girl is a bitch...it's fine as long as it's anyone but her..." ...and so on and so forth....case two: girl breaks up with guy, she moves on, finds another man, but at the very point he finds someone else: "oh, I'm so hurt..."
Okay, once again, extreme cases, but real life cases nonetheless.
Maybe all my interactions happen to be with the same kinds of women. Maybe my bias is playing into this because of my personal experiences. And I know I haven't touched on everything and there's so much more that needs to be written.
But regardless, I've run into these situations way too many times to discount them as outliers.
Next time: How to land the woman (or women) of your dreams, and how to keep her from landing back into your dreams
"you are full of wisdom =)"
-TC
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