when all else fails

Time: 10:30am
Location: Work (OCH Dispatch/Covel Front Desk)

So this guy comes up to the desk, seems to be wearing what appears to be tux. He looks likes he needs to be at some sort of fancy event, though he’s holding his pants up and asks for a safety pin. From observation, it looks as if the button keeping his pants together has fallen off. I tell him that we don’t have any up here, sorry, and I suggest he head over to Hilltop (the student store here in the dorms), and ask for them there. “Shit,” he says, seemingly flustered.
A few minutes later, he comes back, still clutching his pants together. “No luck?” I ask him. Even more frustrated than before, he tells me “Nope. They told me they didn’t have any. If I was a pretty girl it might have been a different story.” Letting off a small and sarcastic chuckle, he adds “Do you happen to have a stapler I can use?”
Man, this guy was getting desperate. I proceed to hand him the stapler, which point he begins stapling his pants. I felt sorry for the guy, so I actually genuinely began looking for safety pins, paper clips, anything. Click, click, click goes the stapler. “Ah ha! A little luck there,” he exclaims after a few minutes. “Do you have any tape?”
Hot damn. Well, the man had a plan, no matter how desperate. “Man, this shit always happens when you least suspect it,” he begins, hands alternating from the tape, the stapler, and his pants. “You know Mr. Murphy always pops up when you don’t want him to.”
Yeah I know what you’re thinking. I was thinking the same thing, this coming from a man with his hands down his pants.
“Murphy’s Law is what I mean, of course,” he continues.
Phew.
“Yup,” I respond. “Everything can and will go wrong at some point.”
After a few more minutes of stapling, taping, and his grumbling, he gives up, and in a frustrated sigh goes, “This ain’t working. Thanks for your help though.” He begins rolling up his crotch staples and tape. “What was your name again?”
“Mark.”
“Well thanks Mark, you’ve been awesome.”
While the image of a grown man with a stapler at his crotch seems comical, I must ask you, what would you do in this situation? This guy had a problem, and he was resourceful. And though I wanted to break out in laughter with each passing click of the stapler, I had to feel sorry for the dude.

"Don't stress out. You are going to die anyway."
-MH