it's coming

Being involved in a community service program aimed towards promoting higher education to high school students usually leaves me with some sort of euphoric feeling. Ya know, one of those emotional highs or something cause I know I did something that impacted somebody's life positively. Yeah, it sounds cheesy, but I get a certain personal joy if I know down the line that what I did helped someone. Well, who doesn't really?

And so I write this after finishing off a third and what would be my last Bruin Life Weekend. What is that? High school seniors who are accepted to UCLA are invited to spend a weekend here on campus, sleeping in the dorms, eating in the dorms, going to classes, exploring campus and westwood and whatnot, all in the name of making a decision on which college to go to. The whole program was effectively prepared, organized, and facilitated by no more than the less than 10 real active members in PREP(http://prep.bol.ucla.edu/index.htm).


Yay us.
Finishing that off left me with:
-relief that it all came together, despite the lack of concrete organization beforehand (phew)
-a few more facebook friends (and the requests keep coming)
-a stomachache since leftover cheese pizza from the first night is all I've been eating the past three days
-shock cause these students were born in 1990. 1990? that's the next decade!!!
-a little bit of sadness knowing that by the time these prospective UCLA students begin their college career, I'll be graduated
-and panic knowing that by the time these prospective UCLA students begin their college career, I'll be graduated

...it's basically a realization that my time here is ending. The end is coming, and now it's closer than it ever was before (though it'll be even closer tomorrow). Upon hearing that I'm a graduating senior, the question of what I plan on doing with my life after I graduate comes up time and time again. And the question only now pops up more frequently as it gets closer to June. Do I have an answer for it? I do. It usually starts with "Um, well, er, I was thinking I should..."

I'm sure every graduating senior goes through this at some point. This is my turn, especially since at the moment, I'm finding it hard to put a direction in my life. Sure, I'll have the degree, but the real question is yeah, so?

Might I also add that it makes me feel just that much more older when interacting with high school students who are also class of 08.

At the very least, I can be glad that every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

"You know, Michael Jordan was a geography major. Maybe there's hope for at least some of you."
-Prof. Fan