Upon looking at my computer's clock one day recently, I made a slightly horrifying realization: Wow. It is the middle of September. It is thus nearly the end of the summer. Reflecting on this fact, I thought about everything that had happened in these past three months, all the highs and the lows, the fun times and the downright emotional times, the times when I felt that this summer would never end and the times I felt that everything was just happening so suddenly.
It's been an interesting summer, and it's sometimes hard to believe how much things have changed since that day I lugged a carload of my belongings down four stories with no elevator (today the situation is practically the same...though now I'm lugging a carload of my belongings up two stories with an elevator using only a grocery cart). Yes, those were different times and I was different then. It feels like only yesterday, while at the same time the situation seems so foreign to me.
How and why did so much change over the course of these past three months? It's only a short while, but the amount of detail I could into could have me writing for days.
But it's not to say that it was a bad summer. It's been enjoyable at best, yet there are some regrettable things that happened as well. I will admit, I have done things this summer that I am not entirely proud of at all, and well if I could, I would change what I did. But alas, my only justification is that I was a truly different person back then, and at the time I was going through a sort of phase, I guess. But aside from that I must say that this probably has been one of my more eventful summers (though it still comes short of last year). I've traveled, I've partied, I've visited family, I've made new friends, I've made a little money on the side, I made it on national
television in polka dot pajama pants, I've made my brain more susceptible to seizures and rotting on account of hours upon hours of watching a screen filled with colorful dots and lines. It's been interesting. It's been fun.
Aside from all this, I still can't help but wonder that I've gained nothing this summer. People I know had internships, studied abroad, or other various exciting activities. I mean, I worked two jobs, spent all my time at work, lost most of my day to sleep, and my free time was spent analyzing passages such as "Faith is just this paradox, that the single individual as the particular is higher than the universal, is justified before the latter, not as subordinate but superior, though in such a way, be it noted, that it is the single individual who, having been subordinate to the universal as the particular, now by means of the universal becomes that individual who, as the particular, stands in an absolute relation to the absolute."
Did you catch that?
I mean, I feel like I would've accomplished more had I not worked as much and sat on my ass all day. At the very least, my brain and my body would have had a break. Now it's already the end of summer and all I'm really feeling is a sense of burnout. Fall quarter is nothing to look forward to either, with school just waiting to take me out for another horrendous spin. It's just a scary feeling knowing that this truly is the beginning of the end of this parable we call our college careers.(and for the record, yes I reserve the right to relate our college careers to parables as there are many lessons learned along the way).
Look, I'm even too burned out to continue writing.
"I don't get it, Mark. You're not that great."
-LT
No comments:
Post a Comment