9/30/09

"Even if YOU don't know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic knows."

Warning: Belief-O-Matic™ assumes no legal liability for the ultimate fate of your soul.

Not so long ago, I entrusted the determination of my religious beliefs on a short, 20 question online quiz. I figured, I'm more a Catholic in name rather than in practice, let's see what religious category the gods of the interweb can generalize me into. And generalize they did:

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (95%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (85%)
4. Theravada Buddhism (84%)
5. Neo-Pagan (80%)
6. Secular Humanism (80%)
7. Mahayana Buddhism (74%)
8. New Age (70%)
9. Reform Judaism (67%)
10. Orthodox Quaker (67%)
11. Taoism (63%)
12. Sikhism (59%)
13. Hinduism (53%)
14. Nontheist (52%)
15. Baha'i Faith (50%)
16. Jainism (50%)
17. New Thought (48%)
18. Seventh Day Adventist (42%)
19. Orthodox Judaism (39%)
20. Scientology (38%)
21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (37%)
22. Eastern Orthodox (36%)
23. Roman Catholic (36%)
24. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (33%)
25. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (28%)
26. Islam (23%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (11%)

Hm. So the quiz was right in showing that I'm definitely low on the scale of Catholic-ness that I could be. What I find more funny is that I'm more Hindu than I am Catholic, and even more surprising that I seem to be even more "Neo-Pagan" than either of those.

Makes sense. I'm no perfect Catholic-in-name. I avoid going to Church like the plague, I hardly ever pray, and I think the most religious people I know are kinda kooky. I wouldn't say I've come to these practices out of a shunning of the religion of my family that I was raised on though...it really stems more out of laziness. Plus, I've had my share of sacrilegious moments too:

not pictured: the box of wine I served the bread with

True Roman Catholic and Christian views require very socially conservative values that many people my age nowadays would find ridiculous. Divorce is forbidden, abortions are morally wrong and Gays are evil. Most people under 60 can't say they believe in all those tenets.

But...God requires it, right?

Some 5 years ago I was forced into a discussion (in a car ride...those sneaky bastards) about why I believed in what I believed with some gung-ho born again Christians. My general philosophy is that there are certain things I do and don't agree with in the Bible, so I choose what I believe in and practice according to my own preferences and accord. I was then questioned how I could still call myself a believe in God or in the Bible or in Catholicism when I refuse to believe certain parts of God's word. At the time, I was offended, but the guy had a good point. If we really do want to call ourselves Christian or Catholic, how can we still keep our own less-than-Conservative social values?

In all honesty, the sliver of God's and Jesus' teachings I still follow is the fact that I believe we should treat everyone with the same respect we would like to be treated with as well. Be good to others, especially those who are less fortunate, because everyone deserves to be treated with love and respect, gay, divorced, or in Massachusetts or Iowa, gay and divorced.

And in the end of it all, isn't that what really matters? The way we treat others throughout our lives, actual religious beliefs be damned?

So what this really comes down to is...Go Unitarian. We open-minded folks are very welcoming.

"he called me a Christian...that's the worst insult ever"
-KV

9/28/09

too soon?

very much so. especially since I have family and friends who have been directly affected by all of this (a balikbayan box is being filled as we speak, though).

but as my friend who posted this on facebook originally said, "you also have to look at funny side of things..."



"movin from LA to Chicago, huh? it's cold out here, just wanna warn you. good luck. it's tough here, but we're all tough"
-a realtor in Chicago, to me

9/19/09

"A Comedy Series about Dealing in the Suburbs"

I'm not one to normally catch onto the biggest show fad this season, or follow an all new drama, comedy, dramedy, thriller, fantasy, or fhriller(?) to the point where I would devote my 9:30-10:30 pm slot every Thursday night. I always find most shows on network television to be trite in terms of premises (a high powered lawyer faces his biggest case yet, a doctor straight out of med school finds life...an estranged mother and daughter [or father and son] duo rediscover their relationship, etc etc), the archetypes of characters are predictable, somebody always falls in love or hooks up with another character, and suddenly everyone in the world is as witty and intelligent as the person who wrote the script. It's like clockwork.

So when I decided to get into a show to fill my ungodly amount of free hours since I'm only a part-time worker, I figured I should find a premise that does interest me. There are still your witty predictable characters, but at least the story is original:


For those of you who are unaware of this delightfully original storyline, a single mom from the fictional (yet surprisingly realistic and believable) suburban neighborhood of Agrestic, a town full of professionals who drive big SUV's, drink "It's a Grind" coffee, shop at Costco, hold up their Christian values on the PTA in the public schools, hire Mexicans as housekeepers, live in large luxury suburban cookie cutter houses and are afraid of minorities, who takes up selling marijuana to the affluent citizens in her neighborhood in order to continue to provide this lifestyle for her two children since her husband had recently passed away from a heart attack. Along the way she learns the ins and outs of slanging weed, the different types of qualities of grass, where the best markets are, how to put up a front business, how to deal with competition, deals with discipline problems from the two sons who now lack a father figure, and even unknowingly hooks up with a DEA agent.

Say what you will about the legality or morality of the use of recreational drugs, (and there have been critics who have said that this show condones drug trafficking), but this show is much more than that. Other than the obvious props to the suburban weed slanging business (realistically portrayed...but...ya know...I wouldn't know...), the show's deep subplots involving the issue of providing for your kids no matter what, middle aged stoners trying to grow up and find a direction in life, an otherwise completely bitch of a mother who must face mortality after she's diagnosed with cancer, and a piercing attack on typical, excruciatingly boring and trite Christian suburban lifestyle are never cut thin or left hanging and are properly and well executed.

In other words, go to the library, rent out the first season, and tell me what you think. You shan't be disappointed.

Ok, Showtime, you owe me one for this promo.



"where's Bin Laden now? it's Saturday, so he's at Costco"
-BM

9/16/09

how can you NOT support this guy?

like, really?



"Just made out with a hot asian chick for about 30 minutes. Still gay."
-ES

9/10/09

they say the pun is the lowest form of comedy

It's something so terrible, it'll have you shaking your head and groaning.

Which usually means that it's something I'd enjoy and find hilarious.

via @yacketeeyakking

(from Krugman's comments on NYT online:)

To the Tune of Physical by Olivia Newton John

“Let's get fiscal, fiscal,
I wanna get fiscal, let's get into fiscal.
Let me hear your budget talk,
Your budget talk, let me hear your budget talk.”

Oh it's so terrible, it's amazing! It really more reminds me of this site I came across a few months ago, in which they've mutilated (no pun intended...ah who am I kidding) the lyrics into a zombified format as so:

To the tune of Stand By Me, by Ben E. King

When your limbs are numb
And you've lost that spark
And you groan and are always quite hungry
No I won't run away
No I won't run away
It's not wrong, if you'll be my zombie

...and it just goes on like that.

Check out the rest of their killer (ah ha ha) lyrics. I'm sure you'll be dying (ah ha ha ha) by the time you finish reading them.

"I AM NOT YOUR EMOTIONAL TAMPON FUCK YOU FUCK YOU"
-KV

9/7/09

my life has gotten so eventless, this is what I do in my spare time

This is how I turn indolence into academia (and really, it's the only way to make sure I remember everything I learned in the past few months)

As it reads on the map:
"Who do I @reply to the most on Twitter? 9 months and 1500 tweets after I first signed on with Twitter, these are the 10 most tweeps I've replied to since then, and how many times I've @replied to them"

"wouldn't that make a good rock song? 'these are a few of my favorite things!...'"
-MO

9/3/09

here's to 2 years of Every Which Direction But Forward

2 years ago this day, some slightly jaded and very burned out college student about to go into his senior year decided to write down half the things that came into his mind, mostly because he forgot the other half of the things he was thinking about.

Anyways, to commemorate the past 2 years and 125 posts, I wanna take a look back at one of things that did happen to change since September 3, 2007 (besides my weight). I present to you - the many looks (logos) of every which direction but forward!

September 3, 2007 to October 28th 2007


October 28th, 2007 to December 3rd, 2008


December 3nd 2008 to January 22, 2009


January 22, 2009 to July 23, 2009


July 23, 2009 to Present


So to quote my first post, dated September 3rd, 2007,

"Needless to say, my attempts to start online journals have been inconsistent and flaky at best. I tend to lose interest in writing in these things after a while, since seemingly I only write when I'm feeling emotional. But I guess this is a trend I can break this time around, possibly. I say this every time, but will this one stand the test of time and my ultimate un-desire to write? I always answer the same way too: m'eh."

My thoughts on that: m'eh.

"if you want to be a diplomat, you have to be diplomatic"
-VS