This weekend, what did my activities consist of? My company holiday party, and wine tasting.
Whoa. To be quite honest, I did not see myself spending my Saturday evenings with bunch of 40-somethings. It's interesting and all to see alot of the people I work with on a daily basis and happen to be at least twice my age let it all out on the dance floor. But there's still something inherently awkward about seeing a 50 year old, calm and cool, mild mannered man who normally comes to work in sweater vests get down to do the cupid shuffle. Perfectly.
In any sense, I guess I'll look back on this experience and wish for younger days when I'm that 50 year old in a sweater vest perfectly performing whatever is the popular dance is at the time.
I also discovered the joys of wine tasting this weekend. I've always been a big fan of wine, boxed or not, but I think I've found a new hobby. I mean, where else can you go in which the proprieters will actually give you free alcohol?
I guess it would be safe to say that things I do for fun have changed drastically since I finished school. Goodbye wild, drunken college apartment keggers and blazing, beer, pizza, and video game Sundays. Hello company parties and wine sampling. Goodbye starving student lifestyle. Hello yuppie weekend adventures. What's that you say? The weather? Directions? Oh, hold on, I can check my iphone. Or my GPS navigator system. Or maybe there's something in my Prius I can check.
So I have this little test. Here's a list of 25 signs that you've grown up. If more than half of these apply to you, you're definitely on the road to...old-ness.
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “breakup.”
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog “Science Diet” instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three in the morning would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A four dollar bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit what the hell happened?
Bonus:26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that it doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass.
For me, I counted 19. Uh oh.
But if there's one thing I can count on, it's an inherent, quriky part of me that'll never grow up. How do I know? I'm still smiling after watcing Wall-E for the first time. Also, I made this:
The next blog logo for me? Give it some time, I just put this current one up.
"Oh God, he's so conceited, he actually thinks he has a chance with me."
-JG
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