I discovered this hell of a time-waster the other night, in which you can take two pictures (preferably a male and a female, for those who wish to 'protect the sanctity of marriage' but I for one am open-minded), and mash em together to make a "baby."
So find a picture of mommy, and find a picture of daddy, and voila, instant baby.
You'd think that if I put my picture as both the mother and the father that the result would be some sort of abomination that would resemble a much younger me.
Naw. I was a much better looking baby than that.
"all my babies end up looking similar on that vw site, no matter who i have boned virtually." -CT
Google searches of my name prove that not only am I the young and dashing author of this blog (narcissism is fun!), but I am also a cosmetic surgeon from Philadelphia, the Principle Designer for the Voodoo business unit, a founding partner of the law firm Coughlin Stoia, a nephrologist in Mount Sinai,NY, 6 feet tall and a cancer, Seattle Police Department's South Precinct Crime Prevention Coordinator, and a failing student at Llanview University on One Life to Live.
Pretty impressive resume. Why hasn't it gotten me a job yet?
Anyways, so I decided to google my username, used variably across AIM, twitter, youtube, and even here. The first few results made sense, links to some of my videos on youtube, a direct link to my twitter profile (blocked to the general public, of course), and various other twitter accounts who hadn't been locked and their @replies to me. The link that really stood out to me was to the website Twitter Grader, which apparently 'grades' twitter accounts based on some set of algorithms or something like that. What really surprised me, though, was the fact that my twitter account was ranked 25th among the "Twitter Elite" in Los Angeles.
WTF?
So of course the most logical reaction is to tweet about it (ha). And only then did I proceed to figure out what makes a 'twitter elite.' According to the website, a user's rank is based upon their "power, reach, and authority," whatever that means. So how do you rank power, reach, and authority? Sifting through their technical jargon on algorithms and whatnot (what the fuck are algorithms again?) the ranking is based on 6 factors: number of followers, power of followers (based on their rankings,) updates, update recency (how often you tweet), follower/following ratio, and engagement (how often are your tweets re-tweeted or replied to?)
And factoring all that into consideration, I apparently have been officially ranked at 380,070 overall. Not bad.
But of course, I'm still not entirely sure how this all came to be. I never signed up for this site or anything related to it in general, and my tweets are even protected. So what gives?
I'm still confused. But this is definitely an ego boost, so I'm not complaining.
"I don't know what he is....but I know want to have sex with him..." -LN
Much like the last FAQ post I made a few months ago, found here, I have found myself on multiple occasions answering the same set of questions, sometimes even in the same order. This time around, it's not about why I'm leaving LA or what I'm gonna be doing in Chicago. It's more like why I left LA and what I'm doing in Chicago.
This is just the kind of attention I expected to get from locals here in Chi-Town, being from half a world away from this place to begin with. And much like last time, whenever I do meet someone here, you'd be surprised at how often these questions actually come up and how similar my conversations go.
Upon mentioning that I'm a newbie to Chicago...
You’re from where?
California
Wow, that’s awesome. Where in California are you from?
Originally from the area around San Francisco, but I went to school and lived in LA for the past 5 years.
That’s cool. So what are you doing now?
I’m a student. At DePaul.
Oh really? Wow. What are you studying there?
Geographic information systems
What?
Um…urban planning.
What? Oh…(confusion)…how do you like it?
Well I like it enough to study it, right? Yeah? Yeah?? Haha
(courtesy laugh) haha.
…
So why’d you decide to come out here? Or
Why Chicago of all places? Or why did you decide to come to snowy Chicago from sunny California?
Well I have family I’m staying with. And I needed a change of scenery.
Makes sense…I guess. How long have you been here now?
Since the beginning of April
Oh so you haven’t experienced a real winter here yet
Uh, nope. Should I be worried?
From California ,right?
Yup.
You’re gonna freeze.
Terrific. Yeah just the other day there was a tornado warning, right?
Yeah yeah, we get those all the time.
But the next day it was all sunny again
Yeah that sort of thing happens here. Real seasons.
I guess so.
So you’re from San Francisco, right?
Well, around there.
It’s beautiful there.
Yup, it sure is.
You must know your wines.
Er, sort of?
Ya know, being from California and all.
I guess?
Well, welcome to the Midwest. We do things here a little differently, ya know.
Yeah I can tell.
You like it here better? Or LA?
Well things are certainly different...
Different like how?
Well the pace of things are different. I mean, out in LA everyone’s way too busy with themselves and things are just so damn fast paced...
So we’re a little slower out here, you’re saying?
No, no, no of course not, that’s not what I meant. I mean, every city has their own culture (phew, good save)
Yeah, that is true.
Let’s just say that for the most part, I'm glad I came out here...
"God, white people are so mean and they make me so mad sometimes! But it's okay Daddy, you're pink..." -ZO
So I emerged from the basement today with a tinge of hunger and an urge to go to the bathroom (the only two reasons I ever leave the basement nowadays). Often I find myself sickened at how many hours I can spend down here staring at two screens (the laptop and the TV).
What I saw was a strange sight. My uncle, my aunt, and my little cousin each had a laptop. My aunt and uncle on the couch and my little cousin at the kitchen table. Everyone was in the same room and within inches of each other, but not a word was spoken. Nothing but blank stares into oblivion. I walked past the kitchen, mouthed an "okaaay" to myself, and descended back into the basement where I stopped feeling so bad about trapping myself down here and being on the computer so much.
Welcome to the reality of today's modern family!
"tell her to find a job as a teacher here in Chicago! there's enough black people here." -MO
Sorry for the hiatus folks, but in addition to being busy as hell in the past 2 weeks, I’ve also lacked motivation to even type anything up. But I’m back. And I owe it to you all, I know people have checked my blog out a lot in the past week.
But seriously, so much has happened since I (didn’t) celebrate 42o (no really, I didn’t. I lacked the desire to as well as the means). After making my first foray back home since I moved out here (and pulling off one hell of a surprise…one that’s definitely going in my top 5 successful surprises), I found my way around the whole state of California, and later in Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, and eventually Chicago again, all within a matter of 5 days. In a matter of 6 days, I woke up in 6 different beds, 2 of them at motels and one of them being a floor. I managed to get two parking tickets within less than 24 hours in LA, and a speeding ticket in Nevada. And it was all for the sake of fetching my car from home?
Well that. And of course to see the world I left behind since I left on that midnight train to Chicago (woo woo!) And though I will admit I’ve had my mild freakouts here involving issues of jobs, money, friends, and reasons to even stay here (or really, a lack thereof of all of the above), and I will also admit I’ve had my regrets about this whole relocating thing to begin with…I’d have to say that I think I understand more about what drove me to do it all in the first place and why it’s a good thing I’m on this spiritual journey of some sort.
I told my aunt one night that I was questioning why it was that I left California in the first place. I had a good job, my own apartment, good friends…I was admitting I was getting homesick (and watching a special on HBO about Manny Pacquiao that showed him wearing a UCLA beanie, running up the hill to the Griffifth Observatory with the Hollywood Sign behind him didn’t help). And it wasn’t until I came back last week, saw all my family and friends and my old apartment and my nephew, Julian (the cat) and my old hood, the wood in the west, paying $12 to play pool and eating pho at 3am did I realize something. Although I could’ve easily continued my daily 8-5 grind no struggles to pay the bills or rent lifestyle, by voluntarily pulling myself out (t.w.s.s.) of that routine, I gained something a stable paycheck could never give me: perspective.
It’s true when they say you never know what you had till you’ve lost it. And no, I’m not going to turn this into some preachy post about how we have to appreciate what we have, but it’s different to have something or someone forced away from you versus forcing yourself away from what you have. There’s a certain sense of appreciation you learn when you’re away from the life you’ve built yourself around, so there’s no sense in being afraid of changing (but time makes you bolder, children get older…)
Yes, I am going to say it. I miss home. I miss LA (you happy @letiziat? I admitted it). And I miss a hell of a lot of people. But it’s all a part of the inevitable change we will have to make eventually, constantly throughout our whole lives. We are all constantly building lives and starting over, only to build another life that will eventually have to change anyway. And who knows when or where you’ll be starting over next? I knew it was going to happen to me sooner or later (but to be perfectly honest, I still have my nights when I think I rushed myself into starting over). But such things can’t be dwelled upon. Otherwise I’ll freak out again.
I suppose now would be a good time to start the standard not so serious half of the post. So as I mentioned before, I traveled across the country again, this time by car as opposed to train. Which, by the way, is infinitely more irritating. On the bright side, I was able to see more of strange middle America, and even got to add another state to my ever-growing list of states I’ve seen but will never return to (Wyoming sucks, FYI!).
Let me put this into perspective: the state of Wyoming has a population of around 509,000. The city of San Jose, CA has a population of about 940,000. Needless to say, the drive through did not elicit any exciting responses from me or my cousin: Story of our trip
Yah, that picture pretty much sums up everything we saw. And I guess a few more won’t hurt though
Why else Wyoming sucks
Who or what is Weird Wally?
We fly high, no lie, you know this...
This is where you go to fill up. You sure you got this thing right, Iowa?
Glad we finally made it back to civilization, I figured I should take my cousins out to discover the beauty that is Chicago Style Pizza. And so we visited one of the “Big Three” pizzerias, Giordano’s (the other two are Pizzeria Uno and Lou Malnati’s. All 3 claim to be best pizza in town, but the debates will never end).
What was best about this pizza was not just the fact that it’s a huge deep dish stuffed pizza, or the fact that nontraditional pizza sauce being the only topping (the actual ‘toppings’ are what’s being stuffed. In this case, sausage, mushroom, and garlic), or the fact that it’s overrun with cheese…it was that it all worked together. Definitely decent by my taste.
You want some of this? You've gotta visit me first.
"where's your hubcaps? you must not be into cars" -the guy at Arco
So the other day, I read an interesting article about a little town (so aptly named Littleton) in Colorado and an incident that occurred at their local high school, an incident which has spurred a national debate and multiple studies into the psyches of young kids throughout the country. In other words, it changed the world.
Of course I’m talking about Columbine here. And why I decide to touch on subject that really is a decade old (as of today, actually) is because the article made some interesting points. First of all, it aimed to debunk all the myths that had seemingly become common knowledge. The “Trench Coat Mafia,” the supposed ‘gang’ of misfits and disaffected videogamers which the two gunmen were a part of, didn’t exist. Contrary to popular belief, the two shooters had not been bullied to the point where they would get depressed and suicidal and to the point where they wished to lash back violently. In fact, rather, they were the ones who did the bullying. And that story about the girl who was shot because she said “yes” when asked if she believed in God? Didn’t happen.
And if you’re wondering why I decide to bring this up, years later and especially now that it has really disappeared from the public’s mind, it’s that this particular tragedy affected me personally. See, the moment this occurred, a whole new wave of paranoia and fear swept over the nation’s schools and suddenly anyone between the age of 12 and17 were potential suicidal murderers, prepared to wreak havoc on school grounds. Well, not anyone. Just those who played video games all the time and didn’t really fit in. Pretty much me and my friends in 8th grade. It was played out over the media that it was video games to blame for the incident, it was the fact that these kids were bullied, it’s the fact that these kids were loners. Keep on eye on them! Be nice to them! They’re the dangerous ones! And the moment they give you a dirty look, alert the authorities!
And of course, people did get fucking scared.
One year later takes us to this Catholic school in a suburb somewhere east of the San Francisco Bay. Some kid in the 8th grade class, who really was classified as a “misfit” (actually I recall a friend of mine telling me back in 8th grade to not worry, I’ll be popular in high school) decides to bring some pieces of metal shaped in the form of stars to school. Ninja stars, if you will (but really, they were from Mexico. So were they really…minja stars?) To put a long story short, this seemingly disaffected misfit (who really wouldn’t try to hurt anyone. He was just a geek who liked playing Final Fantasy) made a lot of kids in his class feel “threatened,” and with Columbine fresh on everyone’s minds, authorities were alerted.
They called me into the office. They told me to bring my backpack so they could search it. There was a chubby police officer there waiting with his arms crossed. And they searched my bag and found those estrellas de ninjas. The police officer carefully dropped them into a bag marked “evidence.”
In a perfect world, they told me, things could go back to normal. But the world is a cold, cold place, and they told me not to come back to school. It was a month and a half before the end of 8th grade, I was accepted to the local Catholic High School too, I was the top of my class. And they told me they didn’t want to see me back on the property, else police action will be taken. My acceptance to the high school I had been accepted into had been retracted. I never saw a lot of my friends again.
But at least I got an extra long summer!
As a 13 year old, who wouldn’t have been sorta traumatized by the whole situation? I’ve since gotten over the whole ordeal, but today I’m convinced that if the whole country hadn’t been sucked into this culture of fear and paranoia, the action taken on me wouldn’t have been so harsh and I probably would have been able to finish 8th grade. I was a victim of mass media, and unfortunately at my particular school, an example had to be made.
And to hear 10 years later that perhaps the media blew up the story and made false assumptions about the types of people these sick gunmen were, I can't help but wonder what the fuck would have happened had I not been tagged by the authorities as a "threatening and dangerous loser."
It’s been years since I’ve watched Bowling For Columbine. I don’t entirely remember everything about the movie, and I really think it was more about gun control than anything. M’eh.
And so, since I’ve made the promise to post pictures of the Windy City on here for all those who read my blog and are living out their travel dreams vicariously through me, my next set of pics come from the Hancock building, one of the two (though I think lesser known-the other is the Sears Tower, of course) towers that define the Chicago skyline. Here’s a pic of it for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s the black tower in the distance. And here it is from below: So in regular tourist trap fashion, next to the shop that sells the obligatory postcards, t-shirts, and scale models, there’s a special elevator on the bottom floor that will take you all the way up to the observatory on the 95th floor. And also in regular tourist trap fashion, it’ll cost you a cool $15 to ride it.
Being the smart-with-money (read: cheap) guy that I am, I knew there had to be another way up to avoid paying that price. It’s a freakin office building, there’s gotta be other elevators I could ride up. And I did find em. I also embarrassed myself by jumping into an elevator but got totally rejected because I needed a key-card to activate the damn thing. I got lucky on the next elevator I jumped into though: Ha. So apparently at the top of the Hancock building, there’s a lounge and restaurant which has all the views you would be getting from the observatory anyway…but they’ll serve you food and drinks too! And so, instead of paying $15 for an elevator ticket ride up to the observatory, I paid $9 for a beer at the lounge, and still got the same view. Take that, the system! The Sears Tower in the distance The Navy Pier, I talked about it earlier The Lake Michigan shoreline There’s something very SimCity-esque about these views. I like it. But it’s also an indication of how flat this whole state seems to be. I kinda miss having hills and mountains. You see that there? That’s what’s west of Chicago. If you look real closely, you can almost see California.
So, April is apparently “diversity month” here at DePaul University (should I make the faint connection to The Office here?) I’m not entirely sure what that entails or what exactly they’re trying to demonstrate, but hey, if they’re ranked the most diverse school in the nation, then I guess we should celebrate it.
And what better way to celebrate being the most diverse university in the nation than with a cultural food fair?
We be celebrating diversity here yo.
I dunno. I’m not normally one to take the whole people of color thing too seriously, but you can’t help but wonder when looking at this flyer what the hell were they thinking? It’s cool and all if we were in high school, where the confines of your local demographics limits your perception of what a diverse crowd would look like. But this is a freakin university, we’re a little older and mature and worldly (I hope, at least) and to celebrate how diverse we are by the kinds of foods that are available seems very stuff white people like – ish.
But why not check it out. Without friends and a job, I had all the time in the world anyway. So I put on my Thursday best and proceeded to see how the largest Catholic university (25,000 enrolled, FYI) in the world would celebrate its diversity. What I came across was a room lined with science fair-esque poster boards representing over 15 countries of the world from Turkey to Indonesia to Nigeria. Using the magic of the paper cut out and google picture search, visitors could go around the room and learn about the country from which the food they are currently eating came from, in very easy to read paragraphs.
And to top it all off, each country was given a 30 second video slot on stage to showcase the beauty of their country (most people just used the promotional ‘vacation here at ____’ videos though), and were given another 30 seconds to talk about the type of foods and religions and other fun facts that can be found in their native country, all to the background of some ‘traditional’ music and in ‘traditional’ dress (I think I heard the word ‘traditional’ so much today, it’s lost all traditional meaning to me)
I wasn’t exactly sure what surprised me more, how ridiculous this all seemed or whether this was exactly what I expected to see. It was like something out of a bad elementary school presentation. I’d expect this if we were in maybe, 4th grade, but what I witnessed today was a grim reminder that though this may be the 3rd most populous metropolis in the world’s melting pot, I am still in the Midwest.
Just to clear things up.
Perhaps I simply have a different perception of what diversity and culture is, being from the hyper-diverse regions of the Bay Area and Los Angeles. But coming from a university where diversity is celebrated in 3-4 hour long culture shows and large influential student groups, this 2-bit science fair seems like a major step back for us minorities.
But I can’t complain. They gave me free food.
Moving on, my daily attempts to remind myself that I made the right decision to uproot myself completely have led to yet more seeing of sights. Still an outsider here, I of course flocked towards the first place any tourist would go to…the touristy spots.
Navy Pier was one of those spots. In pure tourist pier fashion (I’m looking at you, Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, Santa Monica Pier, and Pier 39!) there was the obligatory ferris wheel and carnival games.
Well, except for the fact that neither of those were in service, being that it was a brisk 29 degrees and snowing. Even the restaurants were closed and cut off.
Why, Beer Garden? Why did you have to be closed???
The top of the pier was mostly depressing as well. I suppose this time of year, there aren’t too many visitors, so I guess they didn’t have to cater to anyone, spring break visitors be damned. Bleh. Kinda reminds me of the time I visited Coney Island last March.
man. that was depressing.
It’s also a given that Chicago is definitely a sports town, host to a team from ever major U.S. sport (covering some of them twice). Given that fact, I did what you could call stadium hopping, and visited everywhere from The House That Jordan Built, the United Center:
U.S. Cellular Field, home of your 2005 world champion White Sox:
And historical Wrigley Field, which now, in addition to being the home of the Chicago Cubs, sells discount tires.
And what way to better end my day than by enjoying a nice meal at the fanciest McDonald’s I’ve ever been to. I don’t usually eat McDonald’s, but I had to see if the food was any different cause of the fancy entrance. It wasn’t.
"I'd rather be a doctor than a vet cause I'd rather see a person die than a cute little animal die." -KT
So it’s been nearly 5 days since I first stepped foot off that train and into what would ultimately be the stage for my next/new but exciting/scary stage in life. I sometimes hate to get melodramatic about things (and have been characterized as so), but I must answer back with “with what authority do you have to judge my reactions? Are you out here where I am?”
guess this makes it official.
And so it’s not like I didn’t make the realization before, but I think it really started to hit me that I’m taking a radically different direction in life than I was, say, 2 months ago. February 4, 2009, I was knee deep in the grind of things, working a full-time job, living from paycheck to paycheck just to pay the bills and rent, and would spend my evenings watching re-runs of I Love Money and Scrubs over cooking whatever it was I was making for dinner, so I could eat, and browse some off-the-wall articles on digg and reddit before I would pour myself a glass of merlot to put myself to sleep, so I could wake up 6 hours later to start the process all over. April 4, 2009, I Love Money and merlot are still there, but at the very least I can say I’m doing it in a different part of the country.
But it’s definitely different here. No, I can’t say that. That simplifies it way too much. It would be immature and one-sided for me to say that this place is different in the sense that it’s just not California. Sure, the differences are obvious. The weather is colder, the transit is better, the bars are a little less posh and there just aren’t as many Asians, mind you. But like every other American city, and really, like any other city in the world, you’re gonna find that everyone has one thing in common: we all struggle. And we struggle to do the same thing. Everyone’s struggling to pay for something, no matter where you are. In Manila, you may be struggling to pay to feed your family, while in LA you’ll probably be struggling to pay off your BMW. The rat race is everywhere, to what extent and how intense is the biggest variable.
Let’s take into account something I noticed last night, as I spent my first Friday night here in the Windy City at a bar with a pool table and a bunch of 35+ folks. Was definitely not my scene. But why wasn’t it my scene? Well, yes, I was much younger than everyone else there, but it was a simple detail that I failed to notice at first: I’ve never played pool in a bar in Los Angeles, and I can’t recall ever seeing a pool table in a bar in Los Angeles in the first place. Now that may seem like a simple and minute detail. But my uncle made an interesting point when he mentioned that it seems in LA everyone’s too busy with trying to advance themselves that no one takes the time to slow down, have a beer, take off that tie and relax for goodness sake. There’s nothing wrong with trying to make money to make money to later squander it on your designer bag or your lease to your sports car, but there are a lot of other places where there’s less money circulating and the dollar is harder earned, and likewise, priorities are different. With that said, drop some quarters on the table and let’s play some pool.
I think what bothers me most at this moment is everything and everyone I left behind. Maybe I’m only saying or feeling this because I haven’t really met too many people out here yet (and really, it has only been 5 days), but coming home at night at around 9 with my family already asleep leaves something to be yearned for. No longer is there someone to see or hang out with a few blocks up the street, 10 minutes up 280, or even just in the apartment downstairs. And although the wonders of the internet (thank you twitter) have ensured that I will always know what everyone is doing at every single hour of the day, I think right now it’s not helping when I would much rather be at that LA pillow fight, at that Duke Ellington tribute concert, or even at that formal.
Eh. Can't dwell on that forever. Anyways, all that depressing prophetic philosophical shit aside, let’s get onto the interesting stuff: Chicago sightseeing! Fortunate enough with a lot of time on my hands to explore this small town in the Midwest, I was able to take the time to take the train somewhere, get off randomly, and wander around aimlessly until I no longer had the motivation to. The skyline is beautiful and the architecture is amazing (and I like my architecture).
What does suck, however, is the lack of hills or mountains from which I would be able to get a higher vantage point of the city. The whole area is flat, and while that’s nice for walking or biking long distances, it sucks if you’re trying to look for a view similar to the one you would find from the Coit Tower, the Hayward Hills, or the Hollywood sign.
Of course, one of the first things I looked for was a place to finally get that coveted “Chicago-style” pizza (it’s just called pizza here though). Without any suggestions from anyone, I figured I would drop by the first place I saw as soon as I got hungry. Kinda ironic that the place where I get my first taste of Chicago-style pizza is a place called “Rosati’s Authentic Chicago California Style Deli ” The pizza was…alright. This sausage deep dish variety was fairly dry, the crust was nothing to die for and the meat scarce. I suppose this is what I should expect for $4 at a fast food “California” grill. I’ve since gotten suggestions for better places to find pizza, even a place that will, for a fee, send a pizza via mail to an address of your choice (so I WILL be able to follow through on my promise to send everyone pizza!) Wandering around further led me to the Lake Michigan waterfront, the closest thing to a beach I’ll find out here. But don’t get me wrong, it is definitely a nice waterfront. On good days, I hear you can even see across the whole great lake and even see the shore of Michigan. Michigan. Eh. Been there, seen that, not impressed. But something that stuck out at Millennium Park on the lakefront was a large, metallic, kidney bean shaped structure that is so aptly named the “Cloud Gate.” Many, though, have already dubbed it the "Chicago Bean." Even the postcards refer to this sculpture as the bean. Inspired by liquid mercury, it is said to be shaped in the form of a gate to welcome visitors to walk through and under its mirror-like surface, which itself reflects the Chicago skyline.
But to me, it’s still just a fucking bean.
"...and we'd be like 'daddy, why do we keep cooking fresh chicken for dinner when we never go to the store? and why are there only 3 chickens in the back now?' " -SM
For those of you fortunate enough to follow my twitter, you’ve been updated with every turn, scenery, and interaction I’ve managed to run into on this past 52 hour journey across half the continent. For those of you who don’t…sign up for twitter and request to follow me.
I think I had a realization today that my life has made a completely drastic turn and from this point forward, it's going to be so very very different...but I'll go more into that in a later post. For now, my travels:
A lot of people said I was crazy for deciding to make the 2,438 mile trek to Chicago via train instead of plane. Well, 52 hours, 4 microwaved sandwiches, 6 diet cokes, 2 flasks of whisky and a fun sized cabernet sauvignon later, I can agree. I am fucking crazy.
But it was all worth it.
In case you don’t know me very well, then you’d know that I seem to have a penchant for doing stuff just for the sheer hell of it. And why not? I love telling others “how many people can say that they…”
But yeah, why, when traveling across this long of a distance would I decide to take the road (literally) less traveled and go on a trip that lasts 10 times as long as it would if I had flown instead? Cause getting there is half the fun, to quote Clark Griswold (who? Never mind.) I mean, I could have paid a few extra dollars, I could’ve spared another day at home, I could’ve put on my headphones, gone to sleep, and wake up 5 hours later in a different state. But then I wouldn’t have been able to see Nebraska. And that would have been a tragedy.
The Amtrak “California Zephyr” which travels from the San Francisco Bay Area to Chicago has often been called one of the most popular and scenic train routes in the United States, passing through the Rocky Mountains and California’s historic Donner Pass. I can attest to that. Yes, it is indeed. There are majestic mountains, mighty rivers, and historic natural landmarks:
But for every amazing view, there’s a whole lot of this:
That’s right. Turns out a lot of the western half of America is full of barren deserts, endless snow plains, and empty cornfields. In other words, I never realized that there is a whole lot of nothing in between California and the rest of the country. Well, I did realize it. I just had to see for myself, and in doing so have reaffirmed the fact that I should never visit Iowa again. Davis and Sacramento have got nothing on the cow-town-ness of Nebraska and Iowa, to quote my tweet (seriously, if you don’t have a twitter already, you really should get one!)
Maybe it just means that train tracks run through these boring and empty places on purpose. No one wants to live near a passing train (but maybe Mr. John Deere shirt and NRA cap-wearing with the Bible in his hand might think otherwise).
Needless to say, I had to find something to pass the time while I would ride through the (very often bare) buttcrack of America. So what did I do? Watch movies! I purposely held back on watching a lot of the movies I had downloaded recently, for the purpose of this trip alone:
Religulous: Funny man Bill Mahr calls into question and attempts to compromise the religions of people all over the world (and he picks on everybody!) Spoiler alert: he doesn’t succeed. W.: A sort of biopic/reimagining of the life and coming of age of our 43rd president, which really focuses more on his relationship with his father than on his actual presidency and legacy. Spoiler alert: George Bush wins the election in 2000. Zack and Miri Make a Porno: Turned off after 20 minutes for the lack of actual funny jokes. Maybe I didn’t give it enough time, but the problem was that I could tell when they were trying to be funny, but it just wasn’t. You disappoint me, Seth Rogan. I Am Legend: The last living man on Earth attempts to find cure for a disease that has already wiped out the rest of the world’s population anyway. Spoiler alert: the adorable dog dies. Kinda wished it was Will Smith that was killed first. Lars and the Real Girl: Awkward loner Lars falls in love and has actual conversations/arguments with sex doll he orders online, while oblivious to the fact his coworker and his doctor is soo hitting on him. Overall good movie, but seriously, the best part is the shocked look on his brother’s and sister-in-law’s faces when they finally meet Bianca, the doll. Spoiler alert: the doll dies, somehow. The Day the Earth Stood Still: Keanu Reeves plays every role he has ever been in, this time in alien form. Came to destroy the Earth for some weakly explained environmental reason, and decides at the last minute (literally) to change his mind after he sees some mom argue with her stepson. Kathy Bates is Secretary of Defense and John Cleese is a physics professor. Who the fuck did the casting for this movie? Spoiler alert: as adorable as he is, you will want Jaden Smith to die in this movie. I take that back, Jaden Smith is too annoying to be adorable in this movie. Role Models: Stopped watching after I realized the bootleg copy I have of it cuts off the whole right side of the screen. Milk: San Francisco gay activist Harvey Milk’s political career is followed, leading up to his assassination by the same guy who plays George Bush in W. How about that? Spoiler alert: Sean Penn wins Best Actor. Too late?
Aside from all the things I did to pass the time that seemed to pass by very slowly, I’ll say it was a fairly good experience I had the past three days. I’ve met and ran into lots of interesting people, saw a lot of scenery that most people would never view, and found a legitimate excuse to not shower or change clothes and sit, watch movies, read, and play video games for 3 days straight.
But don’t ask me to ever do it again.
“Hello everyone and welcome to the East-Bound California Zephyr on Amtrak. My name is Johnny, and I will be your lounge conductor for the duration of your trip. Down here in the lounge we’ve got a variety of assorted foods, such as quarter pound cheeseburgers, piping hot pizza, all beef hot dogs, hot and cold turkey and swiss or ham and swiss sandwiches, Italian and Chicken breast hoagies and your choice of ice cold beer and or wine. Bloody Marys and Screwdrivers are in effect. Oh, and good morning everyone.” -Johnny C, the lounge conductor and snack bar worker. This was the speech he gave after every single stop, and with 35 stops, well, you get the idea.
And so here we go, the final few hours of my melodramatic countdown to the day in which I would be making my foray away from the life I had grown to know (woo melodramatic-ness!) While I may maintain a mellow and even low-key nature about my plans for the future in person, those of you who read my blog may know that for the most part, it's almost all I've been talking about. And I say, hey, I'm pretty level-headed in person, I'm sure...why not let all the drama out online, huh?
The past month has been fun, exciting, and full of the scariness and anticipation that comes with knowing your life is about to change. I've come out of it with a little more nostalgia and a lot more memories, thanks to seeing people I hadn't seen in weeks, months, years, or even decades (okay, not so much decades) and appropriately ending with people I would see everyday. Good times. The past week has been just as fun, exciting, and full of the scariness and anticipation that comes with knowing your life is about to change as well. Packing to unpack to only pack it all up again to later unpack, I've managed to keep myself busy with family, old friends and even new ones. I've come out if it with a little less bitterness, and alot more hope. Also good times.
Thank you.
And so that brings us to today, right now, while I wonder why Matrix Revolutions is on BET and continue to finish packing what will be my life into four bags. To answer the question I have been asked 23 times today (I counted), I'm feeling a mixture of emotions. That's all I'm going to say. I'm tired of people asking me how I feel about leaving.
This isn't "goodbye." It's "good luck."
"I had an interpretive dance for I believe I can fly lined up for you...and it involved a cocoon!" -JRT
sure the end of many eras can come in many different forms. I finished an era when I left home for college, I finished one when I moved out of the dorms finally, when I retired from "the business," when I quit working at on-campus housing, when I graduated from college, when I first started working full time after college (which ironically was two days before my college graduation)...
but this one is big. in case you don't know me at all or have no idea what I've been posting all over the place on facebook, twitter, and here, I'm finally moved out of a small town named "the angels" in the southern part of a relatively sunny but unknown state on the west coast. and it only took me 5 years.
for now, I find myself in the world I left behind (and I really did truly leave it behind...I don't talk to ANYBODY who is still in the bay), leaving me to reflect on the other world I left behind. the questions have been coming in (do you miss LA yet? when are you gonna come back and visit? are you gonna send me a pizza?) the way I figure it, I'm sure I'm gonna miss the wood in the west, but it's gonna come in stages. being that I knocked out on the floor early last night because I couldn't find a good place to sit and use my laptop and didn't have anywhere to sleep makes me miss my bed down there. and I'm sure I'll miss having a good job in Santa Monica when my savings begin to deplete. and I'm sure I'll miss everyone I've come to know and love as soon as I make it to Chicago and realize that I don't know anyone there.
but I can't dwell on that too much right now. I've got some packin' to do (amongst other things).
one last thing. I referenced this back in an old August post and I figured now would be an appropriate time to continue the list. I said I'd eventually come back to this...and here we are. how many people can say they: -played in the band at UCLA -MC'd a banquet for 100+ people on a yacht -participated in UCLA's undie run (research it, for you who are not aware of it) not in my underwear, but in a gorilla suit -have driven back and forth between the Bay Area and Los Angeles at least 97 times -one of those drives was in the middle of the night, in which the tire blew out resulting in the car spinning out of control in the middle of highway 5 at 4am, forcing the rest of the drive to be done on the spare tire going no faster than 50 mph -got high, cooked dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, and watched the Land Before Time -open up a bottle of Andre ($3 champagne!) and watch Russell Peter's only good stand up every other night -had a roommate who would leave notes on the door asking to stay out because he's having a "serious talk with his good friend," who happened to be a guy -walked in on the above -had a roommate who didn't shower often, or ever -played a role in putting together conferences for 300+ high school students -mix pancake batter, stick in the oven, and call that dinner -open up a can of pork and beans, open up a soda, and call that dinner -threw parties in which there were at least 50-70 people crammed into a single roomed apartment -got trapped in a tiny elevator with 2 other guys and a huge laundry cart flowing over with stuff, on the last day your friend is spending in the neighborhood -worked from 9pm-5am, partied till 7am, got breakfast, knock out the rest of the day and wake up in the early evening to start the whole process all over again -started playing guitar hero at 8pm, your friends would go to work, and by the time they got off work at 5am, you'd still be playing -could get away with taking a few shots at a party that's happening 8 floors above your work while on your 30 minute break -walked from apartment to apartment, depending on whose door was open, and drink a beer at each of these places regardless of who you knew -could attend or host parties that would occur every single friday night for 3 months straight -have friends who lived downstairs and would have cute little dinners by candlelight every week in each others' apartments -could go barhopping on a Tuesday night. I mean, it is Tuesday night, of course. -stayed up till 3 am writing a paper that's due in 6 hours, fell asleep partway through until an hour before it was due and then somehow spewed out 3 pages, printed it and walked it over with 3 minutes to spare -it's 3am, and you've got work at 7, but hey, your friend wants to go get pho. let's go! -it's 2am, you've just had 4 beers and you're craving some garlic fries...but you ran out of oil! but wait, there's some pam. spray that shit on the fryer and throw in the potatoes! now you're totally making fries! -walk down the hall to your friend's room, knock on the door, and just chill there cause she and the rest of her roommates are "just chilling" too -walk down the street to your friend's apartment, knock on the door, and just chill there cause he and the rest of his roommates are "just chilling" too -be in class from 11am-5pm, have meetings from 5-8pm, and work from 9pm-5am everyday...and still have enough time to study, party, and have study-parties -spend a whole day trying to speed run through Zelda: A Link to the Past or Super Mario Bros 3, and not feel bad about not stepping outside the whole day -spend the whole day in bed till 6pm, and not feel guilty -get up at 3pm and still be able to get pancakes and bacon at 4pm in the dining halls -have the time to rehearse and learn multiple cultural dances within only a few months time to perform it in front of an audience of at least 1000...I mean, I never did, but I applaud those who did -have the time to hold a directing position in 3 different community service groups all at once -enjoy winter, spring, and summer breaks...with the ability to do so on your own terms because you're not at home anymore! -completely furnished a living room for free, thanks to the many nights spent driving around the neighborhood searching for furniture left on the streets -took a school bus to a club (once again, I never did...but to those who did...ha.) -but I did take a university owned van that's meant for community service to a club -and also thanks to the aforementioned van, we also picked up all the free furniture on the streets! -rode on a crowded stretch hummer to hollywood
...the list will continue! when I find the time and effort to continue it.
and the countdown starts over...5 days till I take the midnight train to Chicago (woo woo!)
"hey, a handicap space...you know, my hip does hurt" -RS
I've finally finished 100 posts! And it only took me 564 days. Which is equal to exactly 1 year, 6 months, and 17 days. It could also be 13,536 hours. Or even 812,160 minutes (try singing that, Rent!) It's even 48,729,600 seconds.
I would like to commemorate this moment by recognizing all 100 of the funny things that I have overheard or read from other people that have made my blog as witty and intriguing as it could be. Thank you, quotable friends and strangers.
09/03/2007 09/17/2007 "I don't get it, Mark. You're not that great."-LT 09/23/2007 "Rieber 1 to OCH Dispatch, I'll be signing off my radio for the year. If you need to reach me, you can do so via facebook, email, or landline. Thank you and have a good night. I have officially stopped caring." -Solo's last radio call 09/24/2007 "I applied for a job at the mental hospital today. They said I need 24 hours experience with a retard. So uh...do u want 2 hang out?" -RM 09/28/2007 "it is in the nature of us Filipinos to complain to get what we want. that is the only way to make change." -Prof. Andersson 10/03/2007 "Kids, if you really wanna piss off your parents, buy real estate in an imaginary place." -Imaginary Places - Busdriver 10/10/2007 "I thought by this time we would be having rampaging sex." -BM 10/17/2007 "you are full of wisdom =)" -TC 10/28/2007 "you better be gettin laid." -EB 11/01/2007 "getting my degree has been the worst thing ever" -LN 11/10/2007 12/01/2007 "Stop being emo and find some damn meaning in your life!" -SK 12/27/2007 01/07/2008 "maybe now you can find out how the orange slayed the rake. probably had a rotato. something to think about while on the john." -CT 01/21/2008 "On a side note, if you're one of those people who type f*ck or f_ck, my respect for you has been lowered considerably. If you don't wanna curse, just use another word. Censoring the vowel means you're acknowledging that it is a curse word, and you're using it. Get bent." -SS 02/13/2008 "Wow, it actually happened. Youre gone forever. I'll miss you always and I love you forever. <333" -MVS 02/17/2008 "Okininam!" (the spelling is questionable, but that's what it sounded like...you Ilocano speakers probably know what I'm trying to say) -FS 02/25/2008 "Wow. Your students are so...urban." -an observer of PREP's 25th Annual Day In A Life High School Conference 02/29/2008 "Come on! Turn that frown upside down and take a flyer from me!...(silence as 5 people pass her by)...oh God help me." -As heard and seen on Bruin Walk 03/10/2008 "...then out of nowhere, she just goes 'the black eyed peas are hip hop royalty.' fuck the black eyed peas." -KV 03/19/2008 "Don't stress out. You are going to die anyway." -MH 04/06/2008 "has anyone given you a hugh hefner-type robe for this?" -RI 04/20/2008 "You know, Michael Jordan was a geography major. Maybe there's hope for at least some of you." -Prof. Fan 4/20/08 "donde esta...the music room?" -lady who assumed me and the group of filipinos I was with were Mexican and spoke Spanish...our reply: "you mean schoenburg? that's up the hill." 04/29/2008 "i post, therefore i am." -JW 05/07/2008 "Whatever you do, don't fuck Mark Solomon." -CB 06/05/2008 "I wanna go down on u & make u extremely happy, come back up slowly, and fuck you real good. Yours truly, gas prices." -EB 07/02/2008 "yeah you know, the greek drink ouzo. it's like being bitch slapped by a christmas tree." -JC 07/14/2008 "...and feel free to shit on my pillow and toothbrush too." -BM 07/18/2008 "our fucking couches are haunted!" -CV 07/31/2008 "uh, look, I'm probably about to get laid right now, so is it okay if I email you afterwards?" -JU 08/02/2008 "I wanted to be a geology major but I'm fat and I can't walk" -SN 08/04/2008 "guess who got a B+ in art history? not me, cause I got an A!" -NB 08/12/2008 "I don't read blogs-I look for pictures and bold lettering so I can skim through" -JRT 08/17/2008 "fuck growing up...wandering around in the mountainside with crazy youthful abandon forever" -KV 08/26/2008 "a pick and roll? a pick and roll? I fucking play football, I don't know what the fuck a pick and roll is!" -KF 08/30/2008 "I have a pimple on my nose that's making me cross-eyed." -JG 09/05/2008 "How am I? Well, I'm down to 8 cigarettes per day." -MC 09/09/2008 "you know, this inner turmoil of mine? it's hungry. give it some nachos." -AS 09/24/2008 “I now know where the bad Asian driver stereotype developed.” -AR 09/24/2008 “So you know how they eat balut on the American version of Fear Factor? Do they eat burgers on the Filipino version of Fear Factor?” -AR 09/24/2008 “We get raped and pillaged and colonized by the most powerful nations of the world, and what do we do once we get our freedom and independence? Build the biggest malls in Asia.” -ES 09/24/2008 “Tita Ming and Amanda look fine. You look like you just got darker.” -BS 09/24/2008 “Wow Mark…you certainly got darker. A nice tan.” -EL 09/24/2008 “Boracay made you dark!” -Mom’s neighbor and friend 09/24/2008 “You look red, like roast pork. Have you been drinking?” -Lolo Asterio 09/24/2008 “I’m not shy, you are the one that is shy…(to the tune of that one backstreet boys song) tell me why…ohh…ay jusko…” -G 09/24/2008 “Lolo always said when in Rome, do as the Romans do. You’re not trying to do that at all!” -ES 09/24/2008 “Well since we’re all together, shall I bring out the Jack Daniels? The Johnnie Walker? The weed?” -RR 09/24/2008 “Maybe I should upgrade my phone. You know, to a redberry.” -VS 09/24/2008 “Two years ago, 500 people died at the taping of Wowowee. They were trampled because the prize was 400 pesos. Imagine that.” -YL 09/24/2008 “I just got married 2 days ago! Life is beautiful! God bless.” -The 57 year old Caucasian man with the 22 year old Filipina woman 09/24/2008 “And to your right, are jail cells where Spaniards imprisoned many Filipino revolutionaries. Today, it is a bar.” -The calesa driver 09/24/2008 "Gas goes down, pan de sal goes up" -The Manila Bulletin 09/24/2008 “Ah, back to work, na.” -The guy next to me on the plane 09/24/2008 “Have you met Ina? She is so pretty. And you are so guwapo. …But you are cousins.” -TR 09/30/2008 "it's kinda mean, but it feels good" -NR 10/01/2008 "today, I am going to research the average lifespan of yellow highlighters." -JG 10/12/2008 "no I'm not gonna pick you up right now, I'm at the DMV! go get up and find yourself a damn bus!" -overheard at the Department of Motor Vehicles 10/19/2008 "we may suffocate, but at least we won't starve. at this rate, we'll run out of oxygen before we run out of tacos" -ST 10/25/2008 "you don't need to use all these facial creams, just eat bananas...have you ever seen a monkey with a pimple?" -RB 10/28/2008 "wow, the moment you said that, I imagined you about 30 years older." -CP 11/01/2008 "I feel like I should be dodging fireballs" -KV 11/04/2008 "if you don't like the heat, get out of the kitchen. I can eat my garlic wherever I want." -Motor Coach Operator Ranshowlee 11/05/2008 "you've got Eucharist crumbs on your shirt" -JCB 11/11/2008 "The toilet paper is softer here" -JC 11/16/2008 "Happy birthday, Mark! Please do something illegal." -FM 11/23/2008 "...but what if pigeons could become lawyers?" -was said drunkenly, probably by me 11/25/2008 "how could I forget the guy who gave me Christmas in my mouth?" -LS 11/27/2008 "so...what do you think of the dunkin donuts conspiracy?" -JW 12/02/2008 "what if someone put a spell on me?" -VS 12/04/2008 "I'd wanna be friends with Snoop Dogg someday. He seems like a cool guy." -BS 12/07/2008 "Oh God, he's so conceited, he actually thinks he has a chance with me." -JG 12/08/2008 "Who's Hitler?" -VR 12/10/2008 female:(whistles) male: (looks up) is that Bob? female: do I look like a Bob? -heard on the streets of Westwood 12/15/2008 "you remind me of my stepdad." -JRT 12/21/2008 "he wanted white cake, ain't that ghetto? "naw, chocolate cake is ghetto" -CB 12/24/2008 "Bing Crosby? Is that the black guy or the white guy?" -VS 12/31/2008 "ooh you know its brand new when it's not opened" -VS 01/02/2009 “could you get me a crappy souvenir from every state you stop by?” -BM 01/11/2009 "I totally thought that was a penis on my McDonald's bag, but it was really a chess piece" -KE 01/18/2009 "once during truth or dare, we had someone make out with herself in the mirror. that was awesome." -FS 01/19/2009 "I am in respectful awe of #14" -CK 01/20/2009 "black people arent the only-people who have crazy sex you know " -YK 01/22/2009 "This is Riverside? This sucks." -KV 01/25/2009 "will someone sign me off please? I wanna get out of here!" -as heard over the loud speaker at Ralph's 01/27/2009 "I've had 6 wives, and currently on my 7th. But I know I've lived my life, and I have no regrets. Well, except for all the money I lost." -AR 01/28/2009 "i remember you said you were gonna throw up and we totally didn't take you seriously and you totally did and we were bewildered." -PV 02/04/2009 "Wait, that was an inside joke. You're not supposed to know what I'm talking about." -JG 02/05/2009 "Pomegranate juice? You are old." -JC 02/07/2009 "keep eating burritos, you're gonna start looking like a burrito" -MG 02/08/2009 "don't wanna end up pulling my hair out...even though I don't got no hair" -WP 02/12/2009 "Watch yo' back skank, or i might have to start spreading rumors... juicy juicy rumors. Have a great day =) *HIGH FIVE*" -KI 02/18/2009 "Have you ever lived on the East Coast or the Midwest? No? Ha-ha, ha-ha, you're gonna freeze, you're gonna freeze" -AT 02/22/2009 "Come on Mark, lie to me, tell me everything's gonna be alright after graduation" -JCB 03/04/2009 "just seeing if a visit could possibly be in order and if you would have the hospitality skills to meet my…meet my…oh whatever, if I could crash at your pad…" -CT 03/11/2009 "too bad I can't hit them." -ED 03/14/2009 "I miss this." -RI 03/16/2009 it's all about the color. if it looks beautiful to you, it will taste beautiful to you." -SN 03/19/2009 "Why the hat? You look like a beatnik." -LT
here's a few more fun things to entertain yourself in case you didn't bother reading any of the above. a video with people aged 1-100 from all over the world, beating the same drum:
and 100 movie quotes, 100 numbers, all in over 100 seconds
see you at the next centennial! ...or even the next post. whichever comes first.
1 more day.
"if you chase 2 rabbits...they will escape" -a fortune cookie
My favorite Beatles, Michael Jackson, and Radiohead tracks
So I decided to switch things up a little this time around. Normally I would concentrate on a particular genre, encompassing many artists, some obscure, others not, whatever whatever you know what I mean. In case you hadn’t noticed, I didn’t include any of these artists in any of the previous playlists. I mean, they’re just that good that they deserve their own category.
By good, I mean influential, musical, revolutionary, experimental, world renowned, etc. I really can’t find the words to describe the amount of artistry and talent that was required to create these tracks. No really, I can’t. My vocabulary isn’t that large.
So why these three artists? For one thing, on more than one occasion, I’ve been asked “What are your 3 top (Beatles)(Radiohead)(Michael Jackson) tracks?” I remember I was asked once. Figured out a list off the top of my head. Then I was asked again. That’s what I realized that it was time for me to make a post about it (hey, being asked twice is still more than one occasion). And to those of you who have read this and actually partook in that conversation, you’ll noticed that I changed my mind about some tracks being my top 3. Believe, me, if it were up to me, I would choose all the songs of these artists as my top…I mean there’s just too much good music. But I can’t. A playlist with over 500 songs wouldn’t work out, and it would probably crash your computer if you were gonna try and read my blog.
The Beatles Let’s face it. Love em or despise em, they’re still the most influential group in all modern music history. No one doesn’t know who the Beatles are. If you don’t, well, either you’re 6 or you have dementia. Wait, I take that back. My 90 year old grandma (RIP, Grandma) had dementia. Even she could sing the Beatles. Now, I’m no expert on them, I will admit. That job’s for my friend, whose blog you can find here. I’m simply here to appreciate and enjoy the music.
In My Life Across the Universe A Day in the Life
Michael Jackson There’s been too much press coverage and too many things already said about Michael Jackson that I really have nothing else to say about him. His recent buzz and popularity about his tour in London is enough to prove that Jacko can still draw a crowd.
Billie Jean Remember the Time PYT
Radiohead While not nearly as commercially successful as the previously mentioned artists, I’d have to give these guys a spot as one of my ultimate favorite bands of all time. If any group has influenced my taste on music the most, it would be these guys. Maybe this is just me, but I see a parallel in styles of Radiohead and the Beatles. While both groups may have begun as just another rock group, their sound evolved as they aged. Over the years in their respective times, both groups evolved into something more “experimental,” that while accepted by some was questioned by some. Radiohead may not be for everyone, especially in their work as of late. It’s a little too much for some to comprehend. But the same could be said for the Beatles’ later stuff, when experimentation and psychedelic-ness dominated their style. And, the fact that they just dissed Miley Cyrus just bumps up my respect even moreso.
Paranoid Android How to Disappear Completely Talk Show Host
