the retro blog

So it's November 1st, it's fall, it's the beginning of the month that holds my birthday, and for the college bound, apps are due at the end of this month, and for recent grads, this is about the time that mom and dad decide that you've been sleeping on their couch for too long without a job, so you're desperately throwing your resume around everywhere in the hopes that you'll be employed by January. And so, with the finishing of Halloween 2008, I wanted to look back at what I was up to one year ago.

So last year at this time, I had just finished interviewing with a private sector urban planning firm in Orange County. I thought I had done pretty well, since I got along with everyone who I met at the office and they seemed pretty impressed with me. I later found out they didn't want me (damn them). But what I wrote last year was pretty insightful, if anything...

"...So it's reflections like these that really make me wonder whether I'm going about things correctly. Am I trying to grow up too damn quickly? Yeah, I know I need to plan for the future so come next June I'm not sitting on my ass at home spending my free time trying to beat my high score on Wii bowling. At the same time, I know I need to stop, slow down, and try and enjoy the freedom to partake in all the aforementioned activities (and oh so much more) while I still can."

-'I just received a reality check. it bounced.' 11/1/07

Okay, so I'm nowhere near improving my high score on Wii bowling, so that's a good sign that I'm doing well for myself. But the thing is, I'm still in Westwood college town, so walking around and watching all the 'kids' in their costumes playing makes me feel like grampa. I admit it, I find myself wanting to yell at my neighbors from across my window to keep it down cause I need to get some sleep before midnight.

I'm old.

So in celebration of all things retro, I would like to throwback to the golden years known as the 90s. Back then, the shows were funnier, the music was more real, the cartoons were amazing, the economy wasn't tanking, Spielberg didn't make shitty movies, jokes about the president didn't revolve around how stupid he was, but how he was a horndog, and everyone who's my age right now was alot more innocent. Good times, good times.

So, thanks to this site and the Chicago Tribune, I give you 'Revenge of the 90s.'

Social Media:

*Before YouTube... there was "America's Funniest Home Videos"
Hm, let's see here. Those few who owned video cameras filmed something funny happening and submitted the tape (VHS, mind you) to media outlet that would allow it to be viewed by millions. Back then, though, if it was funny enough to America, you'd get money.

*Before blogs... there were 'zines.
If you don't know what a 'zine is, you weren't into self-publishing. It's so easy to sign up for a free service nowadays that will provide an outlet for your random musings or political opinions you'd wish to share with the world. Back then, you used a computer program, wrote out your ideas, printed it out, and sent it to all your friends for their reading pleasure.

*Before blogrolls and comments... there were web rings and guest books.
Back in the day, websites with similar subjects linked each other to each other to create a sort of exclusive club for sites that you could only view if you were in those webrings. And guestbooks? Ha. Remember AsianAvenue? (that was technically 2000) But on that site, you got "points" whenever someone posted on your guestbook. It turned into an easy target for someone to just copy and paste something on hundreds of people's pages.

*Before MySpace Facebook... there was the 20th annual high school reunion.
You'd have to wait in 20 year increments – and buy a plane ticket – to catch up with many of your old friends or see their photo albums. Seriously.
there was also extended phone calls, social interactions in person, mail invitations, word of mouth...
I can go on and on.

The 90s comeback:

*Prime-time soap opera about teens with raging hormones in affluent Los Angeles-area communities
'90s: " Beverly Hills 90210"
2008: "90210"

*War
'90s: Iraq
2008: Iraq

*Oliver Stone movie about U.S. presidents using only initials in title
'90s: "JFK"
then:

2008: "W."
now:


*Election-cycle mantra
'90s: It's the economy, stupid.
2008: It's the economy, stupid.

*Jim Carrey as comedic star (and not serious actor)
'90s: "In Living Color," "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective"
2008: "Yes Man" (opens Dec. 19)

*Video game designed to look as though it came from the '90s
'90s: "Mega Man 3"
then:

2008: "Mega Man 9"
now:


*Toronto Blue Jays manager
'90s: Cito Gaston--won World Series in '92 and '93.
2008: Cito Gaston--rehired as manager June 20 this year, 11 years after he was fired.

*Plaid as fashion trend
'90s: Grunge
2008: Dolce & Gabbana fall collection, Marc Jacobs' spring runway show, the Olsen twins, Lindsay Lohan

*Guns N' Roses releasing an album
'90s: "Use Your Illusion I and II"
2008: "Chinese Democracy" (tentatively scheduled to be released Nov. 23, after 14 years of production delays)

*O.J. Simpson as criminal defendant
'90s: Murder (not guilty)
then:

2008: Armed robbery and kidnapping (guilty)
now:


I know there's so much more to write about on the 90s, but I suppose that will have to wait for another blog (and after I re-watch all the VH1 I Love the 90s specials).

"I feel like I should be dodging fireballs"
-KV

why I would've voted Republican

In case you haven't noticed, I tend to keep my posts generally unbiased politcallly. It's not to say that I'm apathetic or unaware, but I'd rather not alienate the views and beliefs of others. Sure, one should stand up for what they believe in, and defend their position to the end, but I like to observe before I strike. And besides, I believe I don't know enough to effectively debate people on the current election campaigns, but I definitely stay informed. As I've read somewhere before, my knowledge is 4 miles wide but only 4 feet deep.

So I figure since it's about a week before the biggest, most influential and historical election of most people's lives, I'll give my 6 cents and a button(that's all that's on my desk right now).

Gentlemen, let's be frank. I am a left leaning Independent and that's where my vote's going. But I've always respected John McCain. He's my absolute favorite Republican (behind Bill Clinton, of course). Had he won the primaries in 2000, and then proceeded to win the general election, I believe we'd be in a hell of a better position. But at the time, he had difficulty winning over the staunch extremely conservative Republican base, and his racial remark about the Vietnamese diminished his support among the few (if any) minority Republicans (McCain's response in 2000 to a question about how he feels about his captors during the war: "I hate the gooks.")

Most elected government officials claim to "reach across the aisle" or "work along party lines" or some other cliche that implies they'll work with a rival party. But McCain actually did that. Over the past 8 years since I first heard his name as a possible Republican candidate as a somewhat uninformed 14 year old, McCain truly deserved his self-entitled maverick image. What most people would view as "switching sides" was really just a man voting on his fundamentals and not necessarily blindly following his base. He has sided many times with his party (on the war), but answered that with voting for and even spearheading many bills involving traditionally liberal policies on Alaskan oil drilling, generic drugs, emission rules and other issues.

Many people don't remember, or failed to notice, that in 2004, Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry first offered the position of vice presidential running mate to John McCain. A New York Times article on June 13, 2004 refers to John McCain as the 'independent-minded' Republican who was offered the rare chance to be on a bipartisan presidential ticket. The article also later mentions that a possible Kerry-McCain ticket would be unstoppable, with polls giving the dream ticket a 14 point advantage over the W campaign of 04. Imagine that.

However, McCain refused, stating to Kerry on "Meet the Press" that as independent minded as he comes off, he's a Republican loyalist, and can't turn against his own party. However, many believed that he only turned down the prospect of that ticket simply because he didn't want to be the Number 2 guy. He's quoted:

'As recently as last week Mr. McCain made clear his lack of enthusiasm for the vice president's job. On a late-night television show he said, ''I spent several years in a North Vietnamese prison camp, in the dark, fed with scraps. Do you think I want to do that all over again as vice president of the United States?''

Same article I referenced earlier.

But that was all then, far off from any of McCain's prospects to run yet again for the most powerful job on the planet. Learning from his roadblocks in 2000, McCain started early in beginning the courtship of the Republican far right in 2006.

And that brings us to today. Rewind a little back to when McCain first clinched the Republican nomination and Hillary Clinton was still on the news. While the Dems continued their back and forth mudslings and attacks and primary recounts that was slightly reminescent of the 2000 Gore re-counts, McCain seemed to be in a terrific position. Hell, he even had my vote back then.

But the lack of support from his own party's base was truly a problem, and unfortunately and even reluctantly, he would sell his soul to court the conservatives who would be key in securing a victory. It all started with the his choice of Sarah Palin as VP. From that moment on, I feared the worst was just beginning (or had it just occurred?) He will deny it until the end, but early reports proved he wasn't even considering Sarah Palin as a serious candidate for a running mate. In fact, he wanted former Democrat and 2000 Democratic vice presidential candidate Joe Lieberman as his future partner. Imagine that. A bipartisan ticket, two independently minded candidates, unafraid to break from their home party on key issues willing to work with each other to lead this nation.

That would've had my vote.

But instead, McCain went the "safe" route, and chose a candidate he knew would fire up his conservative base. Some would call the choice of Palin as a gimmick, others still claim it was a genuine pick, but we all know now that McCain was too independently minded for his own party. And as such, his values were compromised and his soul sold in the name of winning the election. You can even see it now in his interactions he's reluctant to allow the hate-mongering his campaign has rode on to continue. I'm sure you've all seen this:


He probably realizes the monsters he's created in the past month of relentless negative advertising are finally rearing their ugly heads, and it makes him uncomfortable.

There has never been such a resurgence of hate and racism in this country since the Civil Rights Movement, and the possibility of an Obama presidency are scaring the hell out of everyone. For example:

I kid you not. But thankfully, the search no longer brings you to that result anymore.

His campaign's attacks have begun to focus on the economy as opposed to the "danger" of an Obama presidency, but the damage has been done. Now, if only his running mate would have as much of a heart:


And a brain, too.

As of this moment, the polls are predicting an Obama landslide, yet I have always been wary of the accuracy of polls. As of right now, anything can happen, so ultimately it's up to us to determine what happens next (though since we're in California, we're leaning left no matter what). So, vote or die.

In conclusion, I'd like to argue the case that we shouldn't hate John McCain, like many uninformed voters do nowadays. He's not your typical evil Republican and he has the record to prove it. He was simply weak in character and buckled under the pressure of his own political party in the hopes to win the election. My only hope is that if McCain and Palin do take the presidency that McCain rids himself of his demons and turns back into the real independently minded maverick he was before.

But let's not get our hopes up.

I guess my next move should be to write a whole post on Mr. Obama as well, but I'll be honest. I don't know shit about him. (the 4 mile 4 foot thing, ya know).

And in my further asssertions that all politicians are bullshit, I give you 'Synchronized Debating':

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

open for debate. feel free to start in the comments...

"wow, the moment you said that, I imagined you about 30 years older."
-CP

flying too close to the sun

Ladders are ancient tools and technology.
-wikipedia

So how hard would it be to use, right? More difficult than I hoped.

At the Santa Monica Pier, where my company picnic was, there's a sort of carnival area complete with a ferris wheel, carnival games, and a fairly lame roller coaster. I'm just saying, if the operators let you go twice on the roller coaster, even THEY know it's fairly crappy.

Anyways, in the past few months in which I have frequented that place, I have been acquainted with a certain game that manages to rob me of my dignity in seconds at a time. And yet I still go back for more. That game involves climbing a ladder.

It's simple really. Climb this short ladder on a much less than vertical angle, reach the top, and you win one of those oversized novelty stuffed animals of whose purpose you will no longer find a few weeks down the line.

My first attempts at this happened in April of 2008. I must have made at least 7 or 8 attempts to conquer this game, and at $2 an attempt, well, you can do the math. My unlucky first attempt (and an indicator of how the rest of the night would go) is shown here. I'm the second guy, obviously.

Despite the hundreds of onlookers watching me fail time and time again, I continued my futile attempts, until finally giving up and yelling "no more!" as the ladder spins me one last time onto the inflated rubber.

So that was then. 6 months later, on October 25th, I'm back, and I'm ready to regain my confidence. This time around I can do it. I know what to expect, and I'm ready to win. What happens when I finally do make it on there?

Closure and defeat.

Rather than drop the dollar bills in attempt after attempt, I decide to walk away with no shame, and before the crowds begin gathering around. But lo and behold, I am called that same evening, and where do my friends wanna go? None other than the Santa Monica Pier. And what do I decide to do while I'm there?

Come on, Mark, you can do it!


Ooh. Ouch.

"you don't need to use all these facial creams, just eat bananas...have you ever seen a monkey with a pimple?"
-RB

my stream of consciousness

Since I have nothing coherent or even kinda interesting to write about (since my life has been consumed by work, eating, sleeping, eating some more and then more work), I've decided instead to just list a random list of things I have found at least slightly amusing.

A couple of weeks ago I got trapped in my elevator. On Taco Tuesday, of all nights! And learned that the alarm on the elevator only works when you don't need it, and never when you do.

I hit a bicyclist while driving the other day. I didn't realize she was crossing the street and before I knew it, she rode right into the side of my car. She didn't fall off, just flew forward a bit. I tried to ask her if she was alright, but she just kept on riding away.

I read on some random blog somewhere that one of the things the blogger hates about some blogs is that their authors don't put up a profile of themselves. So I put up a profile of myself. Take a gander.

So according to experts, boxed wine is better for the environment than wine that normally comes in bottles. 90% of the country's wine production is on the West Coast, but a majority of the consumers live on the East Coast.

Thus, the amount of emissions that are emitted while transporting wine across the country are great. Boxed wine is better for the environment, since generally boxes of wine are lighter than glass bottles, thus putting less stress on the freight that transport them, leading to less fuel that is needed, and thereby reducing greenhouse gases. In other words, keep it classy!

If any of you received a call in the past week or so from a website named "wakerupper.com" and it told you some sort of message such as "you need to re-evaluate your life," well, I'm to blame for that, thanks to this website. Yeah, so in my boredom at work (and thanks to a website that offered numberous office pranks I could play), I decided to randomly send messages to people through this website. Luckily for you guys, the website banned the computer's IP address from my workstation, and I am no longer allowed to use the website from work. But they didn't stop me from my laptop (yet).

This has become one of my favorite websites to get quotes. Here's one of the good ones:
"Almost everyone in the world watches television, and millions of people are involved in television production, and yet there is not a single show on TV that accurately depicts real life. This will doom you to a life of shatter expectations as you have already spent about 30% of your existence watching sitcoms."

oh so true.

The Sad Truth About Relationships

if you get it, you can't say you didn't at least laugh quietly to yourself. More here.

"we may suffocate, but at least we won't starve. at this rate, we'll run out of oxygen before we run out of tacos"
-ST

some days we don't let the line move at all...

Have you ever been to the DMV? Of course you have, anyone with a driver's license or ID card has had to sit through the purgatory that is known as the Department of Motor Vehicles.


Deciding I was in desperate need of a picture and information update on my license (I don't look like "cholo" Mark anymore, you'll have to see the picture yourself to understand) since the last time I tried to buy beer at Ralph's and liquor at Pak n' Save, the clerks seemed skeptical of the picture on the ID and the face looking at them. I mean, look at this guy, he's not 5'7" or 145 pounds (anymore).

Anyways, I'm sure that if there is a hell, waiting in line to get in will be much like waiting in line at the DMV. It doesn't matter where you come from, what your background is, how wealthy or poor you are, whether you're a single bachelor or married with children, the DMV is the ultimate equalizer. You've got the guy in the suit, waiting patiently while reading over some paperwork. You've got the mother on the cell phone, trying to keep her restless kid from shuffling around. You've got your young couple in the obvious stage of "let's do everything we can together," including that trip to the DMV you've been dreading. You've got your studious student, skimming through a reader while time passes by. You've got your biker clad in leather, clutching his helmet and obviously bored. You've got your senior citizen, slouching, eyes closed and head facing down, but is actually the most alert person in the room.

And it doesn't matter who you are because we're all there for the same reason (there's something wrong with my vehicle registration and/or driver's license), and we're all subject to the same punishment (now serving G269, in window number 19...now serving B413, in window number 2).

Time seems to stop since nobody ever seems to move, but you know that time is still passing, since your afternoon is slowly disppearing with every number called.

Still think us car owners have it easy?

"no I'm not gonna pick you up right now, I'm at the DMV! go get up and find yourself a damn bus!"
-overheard at the Department of Motor Vehicles

diversity day

Although much of my working history has been spent in offices, I feel as if I've been lacking "The Office" -like experiences. For the most part, my jobs have been very "Reno 911"-ish or similar to "Clerks" and some with a hint of "Real World."

But I figure I was due, and today I finally got a Steve Carrell situation. So today at the office, lacking tasks to do in the morning, I was given a huge, very important project. Apparently my supervisor and his boss had some sort of conflict over what the difference between a memo and a bulletin was (apparently one had believed one was for information and the other for policy, and vice versa).

So me, being the innocent little intern, was commissioned to discover and research the difference between the two. How? I was given 3 huge binders-worth of all the memos and bulletins from the past 3 years, and was told to read every single one and take note of the differences between the two. Super.

So I read a few, don't take note of anything, fall asleep for half an hour on my chair, and spend the rest of the day on yahoo and digg. Later I make up some BS venn diagram explanation of the differences between the two (using only my common sense), and leave 15 minutes early.

Such is my life.

"today, I am going to research the average lifespan of yellow highlighters."
-JG

since I've been gone...

....I can sleep for the first time...

..kinda.

Though my two hours spent tossing and turning in bed last night effectively cut my amount of hours of sleep to a measeley 3, I still feel beckoned to spend time writing in here for some odd but seemingly convincing reason.

First of all, there were some things I forgot to mention about my adventures in the east. They didn't have much to do with the country, rather what I did. So while there, my brother, cousin, and I pass by this detox/foot massage place someplace in Boracay. Advertising on the outside of this clinic was an offer for a detoxing through some sort of foot bath, not unlike the kinoki foot pad things, except through water. Have you ever heard about these things? Apparently this treatment is supposed to help remove toxins from your body that may have been building up in your blood vessels, stomach, lungs, and liver. So we all give it a try (with the exception of my brother...apparently you can't do the treatment if you have metal in your body[in his case, a metal rod keeping his femur together]) And, according to the picture, it looked like it worked:

(WARNING: The following image is graphic. I don't know how to keep you from looking at it, and you probably skimmed through the pictures on the post before you read the text, so in a way, this warning is kinda futile. Enjoy.)



See kids, that there's the product of epsom salt, some sort of detoxing ionizing machine, distilled water, and 60 minutes. That brown stuff you see is all the toxins from all the liquor I drank in college.

Shudder.

Moving on, I finally did make it back home, after an excruciatingly long Monday (my flight left 10:30pm Monday Philippine time, and arrived in 8:30pm Monday San Francisco time), and it was then that I discovered that the worst kind of hangover is jetlag. Especially when your jetlag is the product of a 15 hour time difference and the crossing of the international date line. I had a horrible experience trying to readjust, waking up at 3pm one day, and not being able to sleep till 8am the next day. It was terrible.

Also coming home, I finally had the time to organize all the little knick knacks and souvenirs one would buy from the Philppines. Though I had my share of typical artifacts such as tiny barrel men, giant wooden forks and spoons, and of course, pusit, there was one object I wasn't sure what to make of:



This dude.

It's a wooden statue of a headhunter, originating in the northern mountainous region of Luzon. In other words, my people. Be that as it may, it's still hideous. I don't know how my brother convinced me to buy one with him (there's a second one at home!), but for some reason, I ended up forking over the 500 pesos for this scary looking thing. I tried giving it to my dad, but he was adamant in keeping this thing out of the home, so for now, it currently resides next to my desk, ready to greet (or warn?) anyone who walks into my room. I guess what I'm trying to do is find it a home other than in my little abode, so if anyone wants a conversation piece or a halloween decoration, it's up for the taking!

One more off the wall purchase I made:



Thaaaat's right. It's Holy Communion bread. Unblessed though. And purchased at the liquor section in the supermarket at Fort Bonifacio's Market! Market! They were 60 pesos (about $1.30) per bag, and next to the wine.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to offend anyone or anyone's religion. I'm Catholic too (but moreso by name not so much by practice). I'm just saying, if you saw this for sale next to the wine at the liquor store, wouldn't you at least chuckle?

I'm going to hell, aren't I?

"it's kinda mean, but it feels good"
-NR

The Notorious P.I.

So concludes my two week foray into the Eastern horizon that is the country of my ethnic origin, this supposed developing nation that is known as Ang Republika ng Pilipinas. Coming into this trip I didn’t what to expect, coming out of it all the stories I’ve only heard from others have only become more real.

If I were to describe the Philippines to me in one word, I would say ‘different.’ I mean, really really different, given my American background. This place really blew my mind, and to be honest at one point in the trip, I swore it was unreal, haha.

But in all seriousness, like most individuals who visit their home country for the first time ever after growing up their whole lives in the United States, I have been given a chance to get some perspective on my quality of life. I know that I've only gotten a small glimpse and a slight taste of what life really is like there, but hey, I've experienced more than if I had just sat on my couch back at home.

So alls I’ve got say about that is, damn.

Anyways, I don’t think I’ll go over every single detail of my trip, however I do believe I will list off all the things that stood out to me the most.

Oh, and I’d also like to mention that I will be thoroughly and extensively disappointed in myself for the rest of my life, since in an unfortunate turn of events, I lost one of my memory sticks for my camera, along with the 400 pictures that was stored on that. As a result, I no longer have pictures and videos from Makati, Quiapo, Mt. Pinatubo, Tarlac, the drive to Baguio City, and many other scenes that I will probably never be able to capture again (one of the videos I’m most disappointed in losing is driving through the Barangay Pembo during the rain, truly powerful in my humble opinion). So, in other words, I fucked up. I messed up real bad.

Sigh.
Moving on.

And now, the 14 things that stood out to me the most during my trip to the Notorious P.I.

1.Anything Goes While Driving

Imagine everything that is illegal about driving in the United States. Now forget all of that. That is how driving is like in the Philippines.

Lanes are of no meaning. Seatbelts are not mandatory. You could fit 9 people in a 5 seater jeep, since apparently there are no laws against people sitting in the trunk. There is constant honking, lights flashing, vehicles merging in and out of lanes on both sides of the roads.

Little tricycles consisting of only a motorcycle and a small carriage with 4 or 5 people riding inside are weaving in and out of the traffic of much more larger vehicles.



And then the jeepneys. Old retrofitted, retooled, and often flamboyantly painted post WWII army jeeps that have been converted into a pseudo public transportation system for the country. You’ve got people hanging off the back these trucks, going at speeds upwards of 40 mph, rain or shine.

But you know what? No one had road rage. Not once did I see anybody complain or open their window to shout at the next driver over. It was sort of accepted that driving would be complete and utter chaos.

But I’m not gonna lie, I actually enjoyed traveling around like that. It was fun, hanging on for dear life on these little machines, risking flying off the vehicle on the next struck pothole or bump in the road. And besides, it’s cheap too.

“I now know where the bad Asian driver stereotype developed.”
-AR

2. There are Filipino equivalents of so much of our media

Have you ever heard of Kapamilyang Deal or No Deal? Or I love Betty La Fea? Or Survivor Philippines?



No, not Survivor that takes place in the Philippines, rather, the reality show Survivor with Filipino contestants. I mean, where the hell could they go that’s more exotic? Haha.



But the shows are practically the same as their American equivalents, with the exception of an all Filipino cast, the obvious language difference, and much more synchronized dancing:



If you know me well, you’ll know that alternative versions of certain media are hilarious to me, and to see an equivalent here in the Philippines just made laugh out loud.

You could probably imagine my reaction when I first saw the video to this song MTV Asia:



“So you know how they eat balut on the American version of Fear Factor? Do they eat burgers on the Filipino version of Fear Factor?”
-AR

3. Those damn malls…

You think the United States is commercialized and overrun with malls? You ain’t seen nothing till you’ve been to the malls in the Philippines. These holy monstrosities take up the majority of the acreage in the more commercial areas of the Philippines. And gah, how exhausting they are to look at and walk through.



And the worst part? They’re fucking everywhere!



Hundreds of thousands of people roam these air conditioned malls day in and day out. The stores are crowded, and they’re overstaffed. Every aisle in every department store has a worker in uniform just standing and waiting there, watching your every move. The moment you approach a product, they instantly walk up to you, trying to assist you in finding whatever size belt it is you wear. “Hello po, peepty percent ope today,” I’d always hear. And then if you do decide to purchase anything, you go up to the cashier counter, and notice the 12 workers they have waiting for you, staring at you.

[picture missing because mark messed up real bad and lost his memory card]

Now, I’m sure this is probably normal for the country, and I guess everyone needs a job, but I can safely say that at this point in my life (or at least for while) that I have been traumatized by these malls and do not wish to walk into another mall, nor my children, nor my children's children, or their children...for 3 months.

And those street vendors, gah. I mostly experienced it in Boracay, and lightly when I visited Antipulo. Everywhere you go, there’s a vendor in a light blue polo holding a rack of sunglasses, pearls, watches, or something. Make eye contact with them, and already it’s too late. The sunglass rack is held up and put in front of your face, the box of pearls is opened and lifted to your view. And damn, are they persistent. They’ll begin following you even if you give the slightest acknowledgement. I think the worst we encountered was while sailing around the island of Boracay. We had stopped to go snorkeling for a while, when suddenly a man on a canoe rows up to us and begins yelling “Ice cream!” While he held on to our boat, we weren’t sure how to react.



Hilarious. Now I know that this the livelihood of these people, so I won’t judge or criticize them. I’m simply pointing out a quirk that most American people would find quite unordinary and to a point, annoying.

“We get raped and pillaged and colonized by the most powerful nations of the world, and what do we do once we get our freedom and independence? Build the biggest malls in Asia.”
-ES

4. What is it with this obsession with whiter skin?

“Fact: All Filipinos want fairer skin.”
-commercial for SkinWhite Whitening Lotion

Now, I’m pretty sure I’m late to catch on to this trend, but I always knew it existed, and I have since heard many Filipinos discuss it amongst themselves. I guess I just had to see it for myself. I don’t see why, I don’t understand it, but in the Philippines, lighter skin=more beautiful. They’ve even got soaps and lotions and body washes that are designed to make your skin more ‘pink-ish white.’



So I decided to give these whitening soaps a try, and conducted an experiment. I purchased the SkinWhite PowerWhitening hand lotion and body soap. The label read:
“Reveals your whitest white! Whitens in as fast as 7 days. Best of all, it whitens continuously.”

Everyday, I used the whitening body soap, and later used the whitening lotion (which doubled as a 20 SPF sunblock). I swear, my skin began to achieve that pink-ish white glow up until we spent time at Boracay, where my time in the sun roasted me and brought me back to my lowly dark brown.

And another thing, I know it’s a little late to point this out, but it’s true. All the biggest actors in the movies and all the people who do make it on TV are freakin white as hell. I mean, look at Aga Mulach. He’s everywhere and he’s as pale as my legs!

Okay, not really anymore, I actually wore shorts while in the Philippines. But just see for yourself!






Well, I’m not gonna lie. I’d be smiling like him too if I got to star in movies with those girls, ha.

“Tita Ming and Amanda look fine. You look like you just got darker.”
-BS
“Wow Mark…you certainly got darker. A nice tan.”
-EL
“Boracay made you dark!”
-Mom’s neighbor and friend

5. So much pork…

I swear, I’ve never had so much lechon kawali and crispy pata at once my whole life…

“You look red, like roast pork. Have you been drinking?”
-Lolo Asterio

6.They sure love them fast food

Every fast food place I visited, and that’s not only including the Filipino chains, but also your McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy’s, and KFC served fried chicken (okay, so KFC is supposed to serve fried chicken anyway, but…). And on top of that, all of them deliver to your home, 24 hours a day.

[picture missing because Mark messed up real bad by losing his memory card]

Imagine that in America. How horrible would that be for our already obese nation?

And that damn Jollibee. He’s just so damn…happy. But hey, I’ve got nothin but love for the character that brings joy to so many Filipino youth, not unlike…

=

=


“I’m not shy, you are the one that is shy…(to the tune of that one backstreet boys song) tell me why…ohh…ay jusko…”
-G

8. I love the exchange rate

So it’s about 46 pesos to a dollar. And many dishes at many restaurants are no more than 150 pesos. We’re not talking fast food burgers or anything (a big mac meal is only 100 pesos), we’re talking full on dishes like sinigang, kare kare, bangus, and rice. You can order a beer at a bar or a club for only 45 pesos (given that it’s San Miguel). A rum and coke at one bar was only 60 pesos.

Needless to say, you can see where I pissed away most of my money.

“Well since we’re all together, shall I bring out the Jack Daniels? The Johnnie Walker? The weed?”
-RR

7. Security Guards are well armed, and everywhere

And I mean everywhere, at your local mall, bank, Max’s restaurant, even Jollibee’s:



I read somewhere that the current ratio of these guards are 750 citizens to 1, and the government wants to increase that ratio to 500 to 1.The streets are already teeming with these men in white uniforms, and some of them carry around a lot of firepower.


(don't ever get caught with a broken tail light here...or else.)

And get this. Whenever you enter any sort of building at all, even your local mall, you’re required to go through a metal detector and be patted down for security reasons.




Once again, another case of what may be normal in one place, but not another. Something like that would never pass here in the States.

“Lolo always said when in Rome, do as the Romans do. You’re not trying to do that at all!”
-ES

9. I now have a new favorite beer

Unfortunately it’s not manufactured in the States. Or at least, I’ve never seen it. It’s call San Miguel Strong Ice, an ice filtered pale pilsen that gives you the strength of a strong beer or malt liquor but with the smoothness of a light beer. If you’ve ever seen it here in America, please direct me towards where I will be able to purchase it.



“Maybe I should upgrade my phone. You know, to a redberry.”
-VS

10. Ya’ll are wimps in the States

Now I’ve heard the rumors that Alpha Phi Omega (a community service based co-ed fraternity in the United States) is a gang in the Philippines, but according to my cousin that’s not necessarily true. But what is necessarily true is that frats here in the PI don’t just party and go clubbing with each other, they have full out frat fights. And it gets violent.

“Two years ago, 500 people died at the taping of Wowowee. They were trampled because the prize was 400 pesos. Imagine that.”
-YL

11. That ain’t right.

Surely you’ve heard of mail order brides (or nowadays, internet order brides). I never realized how prevalent it was here in this country. You don’t see it too much around the big city, but while in Boracay, I counted 57 couples that just didn’t seem right.



Now this picture wasn’t the worst I had seen, but it got to the point where it just wasn’t right.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not racist and I'm not the type to go "oh look the white man is stealing OUR women." I'm not like that at all. If these people met on their own accord and fell in love, more power to them. I'm just criticizing those where it's obvious a little business transaction was involved.

There were men who were clearly past or approaching 60 with young women who looked no older than in their 20s. And the worst part was that seeing the same couples the next day, we all knew what had happened with them the night before. I understand that possibly these are some lonely men who simply need companionship in their life, and I feel for them to be driven to this point of desperation. Then again, who knows, perhaps these guys are on ‘business trips’ away from their families and wives and are looking for a good time 7,000 miles away from home.

“I just got married 2 days ago! Life is beautiful! God bless.”
-The 57 year old Caucasian man with the 22 year old Filipina woman

12. A place so nice, they destroyed it twice

In the more colonial parts of the country, especially in the historical areas around Manila, you will find that our country has a rich and diverse history full of innovation and influence.

And it was all destroyed at least two or three times.

The oldest church in the Philippines, Saint Augustin, originally erected in 1571, has been burned and pillaged at least twice each by the Spanish, the Chinese, the British, and the Americans. You can read for yourself its colorful history.



Look at how the church looks in the picture. Look at it now:



It’s been destroyed so many times, they didn’t even bother putting up a second tower.
Now I’m not one of those pseudo activists who’s gonna scream “it’s cause we’re brown” in the case of a few colonial overpowerings. But let’s not bullshit. My country was pretty much fucked by every other surrounding nation, and it saddens me to think of all that. It’s a sad history, and well, damn dude, it sucks. But regardless, it’s our history, and let’s hope that during World War III, the Americans won’t come back and trample the livelihoods of thousands of Filipino citizens.

“And to your right, are jail cells where Spaniards imprisoned many Filipino revolutionaries. Today, it is a bar.”
-The calesa driver

13. You don’t know crowded

So imagine a huge room. For you college students, imagine a large lecture hall, not unilike the size of Moore 100 at UCLA. For others, think of a basketball court and the lower section of the stands. Now imagine hundreds of people gathered and stuffed in that room, it’s hot and muggy, there are fans situated all over the room but you’re still dripping with sweat, and there are so many people that others are waiting outside.

That’s Sunday mass at Antipolo for you.

Imagine a train, BART for the Bay Area folks, and the Red Line for those of you from Los Angeles. Imagine being stuffed arm to arm in that train, non-airconditioned and Dunkin Donuts commercials playing on repeat for the whole ride.

That’s the MRT rail transit in Manila for you.

Imagine driving through a neighborhood, with hundreds of people walking on the streets, little tricycles driving in and around these pedestrians, markets selling fresh produce in rows, homes with open doors, friends and children playing in every which direction, and others simply standing and staring at all the life that passes them by.

That’s a neighborhood street in Quezon City.

I lost the best videos that would help you visualize what I just described, but I managed to record driving through the neighborhood, on a quieter part of the day in Pembo, Makati:



And that's a quiet day.

Seeing and experiencing and living that for a while made me realize that American streets are nice and quiet, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But that also makes them kinda lifeless. It’s still slightly strange to me right now to be sitting near a window, and to not hear the putters of a motorcycle or jeepney pass by, the voices of hundreds of children and the occasional firecracker go off.

Ah what am I saying. Living there and hearing all that for a few more weeks would have probably driven me crazy.

I’ll adjust back soon.

"Gas goes down, pan de sal goes up"
-The Manila Bulletin

14. But…

Amidst all the supposed poverty, lack of food, and hardships that I’ve heard many go through on an every day basis, everyone is still pretty damn happy.

Must be the Magic Mics.

“Ah, back to work, na.”
-The guy next to me on the plane

And In Conclusion...

Overall? I think I had a great time. Seeing, experiencing, and living this for a while has really opened my eyes and given me perspective. I don’t want to sound cheesy and trite, but yeah, I’m a different person now that I’ve seen it for myself. Was it a life changing experience? You bet. I’ve connected with family I didn’t even know exist, I’ve experienced a culture I’ve only heard about, and I now have a deeper appreciation for simple amenities taken for the granted on my part (Thank God for toilet paper).

And for the record, yes it was over 70 degrees, and at times (okay most of the time) I was hot and uncomfortable.



“Have you met Ina? She is so pretty. And you are so guwapo.
…
But you are cousins.”
-TR

despedida

So I am quite convinced that it's time for me to leave...for a while, at least. In the course of the past few days, I've gotten into a car accident, my tire has blown out, I've been summoned for jury duty, and my license has been threatened to be taken away. Not cool.

Alls I've got to say is: YOU DO NOT TURN INTO A DRIVEWAY ON THE RIGHT SIDE FROM A LEFT LANE.

Yes, these are all auto related issues, so it'll be nice to get away from them for a while. I just don't wanna think about it at the moment.

Anyways, this shall be my last post for a while, as I will be 6,967 miles away. I know I'll find internet, but come on, I can blogspot and facebook on this side of the world just fine. For those of you curious as to where I'll be visiting (and because I'm a true geography nerd and love maps), I've marked where I'll be spending the next 2 weeks of my life with the moderately large and clear x's:



(Metro Manila, La Union, and Boracay for those of you who don't know)

That is all. Show me what you got, homeland!

"you know, this inner turmoil of mine? it's hungry. give it some nachos."
-AS

I will be unreachable for some time...

So in less than 5 days, I shall be departing the country. I will be traveling halfway across the world to the region that is known as the Philippines. The sheer gravity of the trip hasn't quite hit me yet, but I'm assuming that's because I've been so caught up in the grind that I haven't had the chance to sit down, breathe, and slow down to really assess the situation I'm about to get myself into. It'll be a flurry of firsts for me, some being my first time to the country of my cultural heritage, my first foray ever into Southeast Asia, and (according to the "Western scheme of things") my first time to set foot on a 'developing country.'

So basically, I'm not really sure what to expect, except for a life changing experience, which is what most of people who have visited the country prior have told me. There's an itinerary laid out for me already, I'll be there with my family, but still, I'm not sure how I'll be taking this. I'm not saying I might not enjoy this, by all means, I'm really looking forward to it with an open mind and a closed mouth (my mom advised me to not say anything out loud, otherwise that'll be the dead giveaway that I'm not from around there...although I'm guessing it's gonna be my profuse sweating that'll give it away).

While gone, I know I'll be missing out on some typical American commodities, such as mild temperatures, toilet paper in some parts (according to my brother at least), consistent clean running water, and I Love Money (unless they do air it on VH1 Southest Asia). It'll be different, but it'll be a good experience.

Either way, don't expect to hear back from me until about the 23rd of this month...but don't say bye! I'm not gone yet.

On another note, September 3rd was the one year anniversary of my blog! Isn't that cute, he's growing up...

This will be my 38th published post since that fateful night when I decided that hey, I should find some sort of creative outlet for all my incessant rantings. You know, create a place where I will be free to revel in narcissism and not feel bad about it. Lately there have been alot of people I know that have succumbed to this thing called blogspot. Welcome to the club, my friends.

Let's take a look back at that first post again:

"Needless to say, my attempts to start online journals have been inconsistent and flaky at best. I tend to lose interest in writing in these things after a while, since seemingly I only write when I'm feeling emotional. But I guess this is a trend I can break this time around, possibly. I say this every time, but will this one stand the test of time and my ultimate un-desire to write? I always answer the same way too: m'eh."

So far, so good.

Anyways, there's so much in the news that I've discovered thanks to my inflated amount of downtine at work, and so much I'd like to write about, but blogs that are actually read provide visuals, and so I'd like to conclude likewise:

My God, this woman is all over the news. You can't browse by a news channel or pass by a page on digg without seeing the name 'Palin' show up. As such, I have taken the time to get to know this veep candidate extensively, since the media has given her quite the hype. Now, I'd like to convince myself that I enjoy following politics, as much as I deny it publicly. But in reality I eat this shit up, haha. Some notable quotes from this past week:
Palin, on her experience as related to Obama's:
"I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a "community organizer," except that you have actual responsibilities."
Obama, on Palin's piercing attacks and why he isn't responding to her:
"Why? I'm not running against her, I'm running against McCain...I've heard worse on the basketball courts."
A blogger, calling the GOP out:
"I can imagine Biden at the VP debates now: 'You, Ms. Palin, are running a ticket in which you wish to appeal to the Hillary Clinton voters. I know Ms. Clinton personally, Ms. Palin, and you are no Hillary Clinton."
A Fox News correspondent, on Ms. Palin's foreign policy experience:
"Well of course she has foreign policy experience! She governed the state that is closest to Russia!"

Alls I've got say on this matter at this point is shame on you Republicans, for the obvious gimmick you are trying to play on America, knowing damn well that a good amount of people will fall for that gimmick. And if this fateful November, we do happen to allow the Grand Old Party (bro) to come into office, well then I just have to say that this country deserves to be fucked over if we're going to be that naive.


Seriously? I take consolation in the fact that both you, my readers, I, and millions of other people all over the United States view this as ridiculous and completely out of line. But I am also saddened by the fact that in some part of the United States (and in one of my relatives' houses), there is a family that is watching the Faux News Network and taking this as true, real, and genuine.


Awww, poor Bill. It may have already been a decade, but nobody's forgotten yet.


I ensure you, this is not photoshopped.


If you watch South Park, you'd be lauging your ass off right now.

Total laps swam so far, 9/5/08: 60 laps x 25 meters = 1500meters
How much in shape am I feeling: Gah I haven't swam in 2 weeks. And my family keeps telling me that I'm looking fatter. Not good.

"How am I? Well, I'm down to 8 cigarettes per day."
-MC

Happy Birthday Joan Rose

Go Joan.



original references:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVb7LTA4Sts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iYAXJ6Yz30
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgkUeDhX4cw

I know I always praise my latest work as my greatest, but, I still think this is pretty good.

"I have a pimple on my nose that's making me cross-eyed."
-JG

a can of acadamia nuts

Thanks to the multiple occurences in which I've been asked this question, I am now very well aware that my college life is over and I've got nothing but the real world to look forward to from this point forward.

Thank you, I didn't notice.

Why yes, I did graduate from UCLA. What did I study? Geography, urban planning, and public policy. What am I doing now? I'm working for the transit department of Santa Monica. Do I want to go to grad school? Eventually.

After answering those string of questions exactly in that order and with the exact same responses for the 20th time in the past 4 days, I felt like the next step I would need to take would be to type out my answers onto a business card and just hand it to anyone who wanted to make that conversation with me. But since I secretly enjoy tooting my own horn at my accomplishments, I figure I'll probably hold out for just a little while longer.

But another question that is consistently posed to me is whether or not I miss undergrad life. Do I miss going to school yet? Do I miss UCLA yet? Am I getting sick of work yet? Really, it's a long answer yes with an 'and,' and a short answer no with a 'but.'

In actuality, the only thing I really truly miss about undergrad life is being able to sleep in till whenever I'd like. Other than that, I rather enjoy life after school. I like the job I'm at right now, since I think I've learned more relevant practical skills in the past few weeks than I have in the past few years in college courses. I'm making a decent amount of money (goodbye crippling credit card debt!). I love free time, so I absolutely don't mind coming home after work and spending the rest of the evening watching old re-runs of John and Kate plus 8, I Love Money, Blind Date, Southpark, the more obscure untelevised Olympic sports such as judo, shooting, or trampoline, and working on developing my beatboxing skills thanks to Biz Markie:


All that, and I'd like to believe that every day, my stock is rising (that's right, baby, I'm a college graduate with a stable job, and I'm only getting more beautiful by the day).

I mean, that's not to say I didn't enjoy undergraduate life. Hell, I've had the most fun I had ever had, ever in the past four years. I've gained a multitude of friends I'll have for years, I've expanded my tastes in music and my collection of it, I've learned life experiences I would have never had otherwise, and I've created memories I'll have for years. I mean, how many people can say they
-played in the band at UCLA
-MC'd a banquet for 100+ people on a yacht
-participated in UCLA's undie run (research it, for you who are not aware of it) not in my underwear, but in a gorilla suit
-have driven back and forth between the Bay Area and Los Angeles at least 97 times
-one of those drives was in the middle of the night, in which the tire blew out resulting in the car spinning out of control in the middle of highway 5 at 4am, forcing the rest of the drive to be done on the spare tire going no faster than 50 mph
-got high, cooked dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, and watched the Land Before Time
-open up a bottle of Andre ($3 champagne!) and watch Russell Peter's only good stand up every other night
-had a roommate who would leave notes on the door asking to stay out because he's having a "serious talk with his good friend," who happened to be a guy
-walked in on the above
-had a roommate who didn't shower often, or ever
-played a role in putting together conferences for 300+ high school students
-mix pancake batter, stick in the oven, and call that dinner
-open up a can of pork and beans, open up a soda, and call that dinner
-threw parties in which there were at least 50-70 people crammed into a single roomed apartment
-got trapped in a tiny elevator with 2 other guys and a huge laundry cart flowing over with stuff, on the last day your friend is spending in the neighborhood
-completely furnished a living room for free, thanks to the many nights spent driving around the neighborhood searching for furniture left on the streets

...and oh so much more. I think an extended list of this will call for another entry.

I mean, I see why people would want to extend their stay in the college lifestyle. I visited campus today for the first time in a while, and already I had run into two people I knew. The campus is beautiful and full of beautiful people. There are still winter, spring, and summer breaks, and the living is usually easy. It's very, very convenient.

But it's got to come to an end eventually. It's been fun, it's been memorable, but all good things come to an end. College is so...temporary. Relationships are limited to the time until graduation, jobs are menial and usually don't help much for the resume, and metabolism slows down exponentially after finishing undergrad (I sense another entry topic).

So for the time being, right now I will say that I do miss undergrad life to a point, but at the same time, I know that my time has come and gone. But feel free to ask me again in a few months or so.

Total laps swam so far, 8/26/08: 60 laps x 25 meters = 1500meters
How much in shape am I feeling: The fact that I wasn't getting winded after one lap is a good sign. Unfortunately, I've taken a 6 day break as well.

"a pick and roll? a pick and roll? I fucking play football, I don't know what the fuck a pick and roll is!"
-KF

oh one more thing, how are you all digging the new layout?

Prestidigitation.

\pres-tuh-dij-uh-TAY-shuhn\, noun:
Skill in or performance of tricks; sleight of hand.

Cool word huh? Dictionary.com's word of the day, November 16, 2005, my birthday.

But it has nothing to do with what I'm about to write.

No, rather, I've been spending some short time at home, and I've had time to reflect. I've had an excogitation if you will (another dictionary.com benefaction). Being at home is nice and all, and it's not without its perks (close to family, free rent, free food, free laundry!), but I'm just not ready to go back yet. At home, I can not work, sit on my ass all day and wander around the house aimlessly and feel good about it. But good lord, I have a life to live and bills to pay and people to meet and friends to hang out with and bills to pay and places to explore and bills to pay and bills to pay. The Bay Area is an amazing place, rich with culture and opportunity and boasts some of the most beautiful scenery of the world (and I mean that figuratively, too). This picture below of the sun setting west behind the mountains doesn't do justice of what I saw while driving on the bridge, but hey, I just learned that taking a clear picture while driving 80 mph on a crowded roadway is kinda difficult...and just straight up dangerous, especially while trying to text at the same time.

above: in LA the mountains would be brown and hazy and the sky would be a beautiful smoggy purplish-brown

Driving back to the LALA land was what you call, a bitch, however. Apparently nearing the end of Highway 5, about 60 miles away from Westhood, CalTrans decides to close off the road from 11pm-4am, starting that night I was driving on it. I arrive at the scene at 11:04pm. Damn. As a result, traffic stops to a near standstill as 5 lanes eventually merge into 1 while everyone exits onto the detour. So keep in mind that not only are there hundreds of cars trying to fit into a space 1/5 of what it was driving on before, the detour route was considerably long, and naturally, full of traffic. Expectedly, I lose two hours and end up coming home later than I should have. But, as always, I guess it could have been worse:



One last thing. Since I had been relegated to buying larger dress pants in order to avoid any more days in which my waist cannot breathe while at work, I have been inspired to start recreational lap swimming again. No, I wasn't inspired by the olympics but rather the extra 3 minutes I have to spend sucking in my gut while struggling to button up my pants every other morning. But man, today was wake up call though. I didn't realize how far 25 meters is after 6 years of physical inactivity. Since the last time I had done anything this physical, I have: started drinking, began living on my own-which means cheaper, less quality foods, smoked a few times, and, well, pretty much let myself go. By the time I finished my very few 18 laps today, I was winded, I was dizzy, for some odd reason, my reactions were slower on the drive home, and I couldn't help but what the hell I was thinking.

But no pain, no gain, right? Fuck that. No pain, no pain.

Total laps swam so far, 8/18/08: 18 laps x 25 meters = 450 meters
How much in shape am I feeling: Will someone kill me now?

"fuck growing up...wandering around in the mountainside with crazy youthful abandon forever"
-KV

can you digg it baby?

So the lack of school to take up my time leaves me free to spend my time working full time. And work full time I do. And with 40 hours of my life per week spent at work, this gives me plenty of time to steal the company bandwidth and find the randomnest crap on the interweb. And steal the company bandwidth I do. And since I don't have school to keep me occupied, I also have all the time in the world to write about this crap. And write about this crap I do.

So this week in stuff I find fairly (if not ever so slightly) interesting:

Scients unlock the "key" to music and mental illness

First up, apparently psychiatrists have finally scientifically proven that the type of music a teenager listens is an indication of what their personality is like. I rather like reading about these things, actually. Every now and then I run into these "scientific" articles that state some wildly obvious conclusions (i.e. "Scientists Conclude that College Drinking Games Lead to Higher Blood Alcohol Levels).

The article states that the type of music you listen to may make you more likely to develop a mental illness. Really now? What I found more ridiculous was this very typecast generalization: 

WHAT STUDIES SAY ABOUT YOUR SOUNDS:
POP: Conformists, overly responsible, role-conscious, struggling with sexuality or peer acceptance.
HEAVY METAL: Higher levels of suicidal ideation, depression, drug use, self-harm, shoplifting, vandalism, unprotected sex.
DANCE: Higher levels of drug use regardless of socio-economic background.
JAZZ/RHYTHM & BLUES: Introverted misfits, loners.
RAP: Higher levels of theft, violence, anger, street gang membership, drug use and misogyny.

Uh oh. I have an appreciation for all these types of music genres. Looks like I'm a suicidal introverted misfit loner that is part of a gang, does drugs and shoplifts and is struggling with my sexuality. 

Could pandas be proof that there is a God?

Some religious fanatics seem to believe so. I mean, think about it. Pandas are an evolutionary mistake. They have an "un-bear-like" vegetarian diet, apparent lack of interest or aptitude for sex, they spend their days sitting, eating, and scratching...I mean, how could a species who evolved so poorly have survived in the past tens of thousands of years without help from a higher power?

The article mostly centers around the panda's (nearly nonexistent) sex life. They state "The male penis is disproportionately small, females seldom go into heat, and males do not instinctively know how to mate..." Hm...a species in the males have had to be given porn, viagra, and sexercise just to learn how to mate? Of course God, Buddha, Mohammed, Shiva, or some other higher deity has had to have a hand in their survival. I think these people may be on to something...

Operator get me Beijing ding ding ding

Ah, of course. The one event that brings together thousands of people from all over the world so billions of others have an excuse to sit in front of the tv for hours at a time. But the 29th Olympiad has succeeded in other things besides blowing our fucking mind (by the way, if any of you watched the opening ceremony, I heard Toshiba is coming out with those new roll up big screen TVs soon).

It's exposed the world's obession with appearance and perfection and all that wonderful junk. Critics may attack the Chinese, but the coverage that the press is even giving these allegations of trickery and such just goes to show how obsessed we really are as well.  Sure, the Chinese government switched a couple of girls around during the opening ceremony because one was too cute to sing and one was too good at singing to be cute. But I mean, come on. The Chinese don't deserve to receive that much criticism over something as trivial as that. People have gone on to accuse China of being two faced, and fakers, and so on and so forth. But really, who hasn't lip synched a concert before (Remember Ashley Simpson? And did you know that Pavoratti was supposed to sing at the Winter Olympics in Turin, Italy, but lip synched his performance as well?) This was just a simple performance. The real criticism should be about how the government displaced hundreds of thousands of people from their homes and built walls to block "unsightly" neighborhoods from the Olympic community:

...ah, that was kind of  serious note to end on. Here's some other funny stuff I found online this week:

hilarious.

"I don't read blogs-I look for pictures and bold lettering so I can skim through"
-JRT

I won't pay, I won't pay ya, no way. Why don't you get a job

MARK SOLOMON
TRANSIT OPERATIONS, SANTA MONICA BIG BLUE BUS
-as read on my employee badge

it's got a nice ring to it, huh?

it's only been my first day of real career-ish work, but hey, it feels good to know that I'm finally stepping into a field that I'm genuinely interested in. I started my morning hungover and at 6am, and over the course of the day I was introduced to a multitude of names I won't remember and more information on the operations of a public transit system than all the things I've learned in my classes in the past year. had it been any other field, I would have been exhausted and hot and bothered. but it was different today. I was actually excited to get into this!

of course, me taking this job has effectively tied me to living in westwood for at least the next few months, if not the next year, kinda clashing with my grand master daddy plan of ultimately leaving this godforsaken region (SoSucksCal) for...

who knows. somewhere different. I haven't thought that far ahead yet.

on that note, I leave you with a cat eating corn.



"guess who got a B+ in art history? not me, cause I got an A!"
-NB

if websites came with warning labels...

seriously, yo.

courtesy of cracked.com

"I wanted to be a geology major but I'm fat and I can't walk"
-SN